Leap of Faith
by ApprenticeofDoyle
Summary: Post Season 8. After all the angels are cast from Heaven, Sam and Dean go on a search for Castiel, who disappeared after he was betrayed by Metatron. They eventually find him, only to discover he is not only comotose, but human. To add to their problems, angels and demons are now on high alert for Cas and Sam. Their only hope is a crazy archangel back from the dead...multishipping.
1. Prologue

**Leap of Faith **

**A SPN Fanfic**

**{WARNING! HUGE SPOILERS for the Supernatural Season 8 Finale! PLEASE DO NOT READ if you haven't seen it yet. If you haven't, what are you doing?! GO WATCH! **Also, if you don't like the smelly-smell of SPN shipping, you might not like this either. Plus language.}

**_Prologue_**

Drifting

Angels, meteors in the night, plummeted down to the ground like dying firework trails with fiery orange tails. Thousands of them, flaming a majestic gold, slammed down with bomb-like thuds, echoing across the horizon. It was like a warzone; the violet sky rained the winged creatures like the tears of God, heartbreaking and astonishing. And eerily mesmerizing. The sky roared as if it felt pain, winds whistled ceaselessly like a hurricane, and clouds circled as angels shot down like bullets, poking holes in the blanket night. it only lasted a minute, and the impossible sight of Heaven's warriors faded to the leave the stormy night still and cold. There was a final somber rumble in the air, as if Heaven wailed loss of its sentinels, and everything was silent.

However, the turmoil in the Winchesters' minds was anything but over.

Sam was frozen on the wet earth, his face contorted in pain, but he had pushed it down upon seeing the heart wrenching sight of every angel in Heaven falling like comets. His face was torn between pain and horror but the agony in his limbs was growing steadily.

Dean, crouched beside Sam, was still staring at the night sky, looking just as horrified. _Oh God. All of them. _Every angel had been cast down. _Metatron, you son of a bitch. _Dean was gonna wring his lying neck. But amidst the shock and anger fighting for dominance in his mind, one thought- one name- percolated through.

_Cas. _

He had trusted Metatron and he betrayed them, betrayed Castiel. The Trials didn't lock Heaven away, it tilted the goddamn angelical bucket and dumped them on Earth. The memory of his missing friend spurred worry in the older Winchester. His chest lurched as the sudden image of a crumpled, broken Castiel crashed vividly in his mind. Even worse, what if Cas _hadn't _fallen? He would be trapped in Heaven- with _Metatron. _Cas would be stuck, alone, with that secretly malicious scribe. Dean's fists clenched at the idea of that bastard harming him. If he even laid one freakin finger on Cas...

Dean shook his head viciously, his teeth gritted and muscles in his arms flexing with rage.

"Dean," Sam wheezed. He was growing limp against the Impala, with his already sallow face growing deathly white.

"Sam," Dean gasped, whirling to face his brother. All at once, Sam's well-being became the most important thing in his world. He yanked open the Impala passenger door and, curling his arms under his tall, burly brother he lead him into the car. Sam's eyes were glassy and he hardly moved after flopping weakly onto the leather seat.

"You're gonna be fine, Sammy, you're gonna be okay." _You better be. _Dean slammed the door shut, and scrambling into the driver seat, he fired up the Impala and gunned it straight to the nearest hospital, sending dirt flying as he careened towards the highway.

**xXXx**

_Mere Minutes Earlier_

Pain.

Pain was the first thing Castiel registered when he awoke. His back, his head, his chest. Most of all his head. There was incessant, agonizing hammering just behind his eyes that made his closed eyes swim. His eyelids fluttered weakly, and the dark was at first all he saw. Nothing was in focus, it was just a big black blanket of nothing. However, he didn't feel worried. _Shouldn't I be? _he thought. It briefly occurred to him that he should, but he wasn't. He tried to remember something...something on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn't grasp it. He kept searching his mind for more, for something.

But there was absolutely nothing. His memory was a complete blank.

_How is that possible? How? _

He didn't know where he was or how he got there. He didn't remember anything about his past, nothing of childhood or adulthood. He didn't remember how old he was- didn't know if he had family...

He didn't know who he was.

Yet again, the strange feeling that he should be panicked filtered through his brain. But he wasn't panicked. He was just...confused. Confused. Cold. In pain. His fingers twitched on the ground and he felt dead leaves beneath his hands.

The blanket over his eyes slowly eased away and above his head he could see the sky. He was on leafy, cool ground, surrounded by dark, spindly trees that arched to the sky like fingers grasping for stars.

With a small groan, he got to his feet. _Find...find people,_ was the first thought that occurred to him upon standing. He walked forward with his feet crunching the ground and his trenchcoat flapping in the breeze. He looked around. There was a clearing, far off to his right. He headed unsteadily towards it, his motions feeling awkward and somehow lacking. Suddenly, the sound of something shooting above his head made his neck snap up painfully towards the sky above him. Something lit the night sky with a vibrant, roaring fire. A wave of unexpected pain rippled through his chest, not physical but mental. He felt a despair but he couldn't figure out why. Confused, he began running through the forest, limbs aching but desperate, dodging between trees and bushes keeping his eyes glued to the sky.

He reached the clearing, a large empty field, and his eyes widened in horror that he didn't understand. The small pools of golden white light began to glow in the clouds, and he watched soundlessly as winged, fiery creatures fell from the sky like burning rain. His hair and clothes rustled in the wild wind but he couldn't draw his eyes away. He stared as they fell, feeling rippling pain every time a light appeared and winked out like a crashing shooting star. The booms as they collided with the Earth gave his heart a jolt and his knees felt weak.

_Why? _he thought, hopelessness and loss settling over him. _Why is this happening? _A storm of unfamiliar emotions boiled inside him. Guilt, heartache, sorrow. All of them he felt so intensely, and yet he didn't know why. That somehow made it worse.

The night fell silent, and the only sound he could hear was his pounding heart.

_Do something, _his mind whispered. _You've got to do...something! _Frustration at his confusion made him walk briskly to the edge of the field and up a hill. Ripping his gaze from the sky, realizing it wouldn't give him answers, his eyes drifted downwards and he saw a road, snaking around the pale mossy green hills. _People,_ it hinted. It was irritating, how he could remember what a road was, what simple things like shoes and a forest was, and he couldn't remember his own name. It was even _more _annoying that he seemed...unfamiliar with being, well, annoyed. He was frustrated and angry and confused and hurt and lost...all these emotions at once and he wasn't comfortable, almost unused to, all the feelings running rampant in his head. But that didn't make sense either. How could he be unfamiliar with such an average thing as _emotions? _

_Hospital._ The word flew at him from nowhere.

Yes. They could help him there. Help him remember-

He felt himself nearly sprinting towards the road. He saw headlights come down a hill to the south and relief washed through him. _I must remember, _he thought fiercely. He leapt over a barbed wire fence, but as he landed he felt an all of his pain crush down on him. He stumbled, his hands falling onto the asphalt and scraping the flesh on his palms. The headlights came closer and closer, and he realized he wasn't seen. But to his complete surprise, his limbs were frozen in shock.

_Move, _he ordered. But, unbelievably, his body wouldn't listen to him. Eyes wide, he stared as the car came closer and closer. Eventually the light met his eyes and he shut them tight, turning his head- until _screeeeecccch! _The car's hind wheels swung as the driver stomped on the brakes. The sound shredded his eardrums. It jerked to a stop two feet from his head, and he let out a gust of air. The light in his eyes was blinding, so very bright-

Memories flashed through his mind and he tried to snatch them. Light. Bright light was the last thing he remembered.

"Jesus Christ, man!" The driver leapt out of his seat and walked quickly towards the fallen man in the trenchcoat. "What the hell are you doing way out here? Are you okay?" The man's features were average, non-descript, but his words were kind and laced with concern.

_Familiarity. _He'd been like this before. In front of a car, with headlights glaring in his eyes. A face, a face floated into his mind. A man's face, with a tan complexion, short, spiky hair...a chiseled, roughly shaven jaw, a clefted chin...bright hazel eyes with light eyelashes, wide with concern. _I know that face, _he thought breathlessly. A wave of dizziness swept over him, and black rings danced in his vision.

_No, no, wait,_ he thought pleadingly, but he didn't have the strength. The memory of that man started to fade, and he felt true horror. His arms wobbled and the driver came closer, bending down to his height. He spoke but Cas didn't hear the sound of his voice. All he could hear was a deep voice, resonating and worried. "Cas?" it said, fading. Then it was gone. His head pounded viciously, so viciously he felt like his head was going to crack wide open.

"Wait," he breathed, his eyes rolling back into his head. The last thing he could remember before being swept away into a cool, dark world was the feeling of sadness, of longing. And how desperately he wished that the driver was that kind, familiar man with the intense hazel eyes.


	2. Searching for Wings

**_Chapter One_**

Searching for Wings 

_ Two Weeks Later _

To say the search for Castiel was fruitless was completely too optimistic for Dean Winchester. He would put it more eloquently- the search hadn't turned up _jackshit. _There was nothing he heard in the newspaper, no missing persons reports matching the angel's description. He even checked hospital records, for amnesiacs, in case he had gone all "Emmanuel" again. He prayed almost every night. But no dice. The hopelessness weighing on Dean's shoulders grew with every day that passed. He was always grouchy and a drink was never more than an arm's length away. He stayed up too late and even Sam couldn't be in the same room with him for five minutes without the room growing quiet or Sam giving him those goddamned compassionate looks- they always pissed Dean off.

Sam was still recovering from his botched Trial. He'd been in the hospital for only a day and a half, rushing to leave before his mystified doctors could study his bewildering symptoms and his seemingly instantaneous recovery. Dean had wanted his brother to stay longer, just in case some medicine and rest could do him good, but the younger Winchester put on a brave face and disagreed- the doctors were asking them questions they just couldn't answer. At first they attempted to go back to the Men of Letters bunker- they had called ahead to Kevin informing him of the botched Trial, Metatron's betrayal, the angels eviction from Heaven, Castiel and how Crowley had vanished by the time they got back from the hospital.

"We're so screwed," Kevin had said, floored. "But I figured something was going on up there. The bunker's electricity panel went completely haywire a couple days ago. It locked down. Like, old fashioned safe locked down."

"WHAT?" Dean and Sam had yelled in unison into the speaker phone.

"Yeah. I'm kind of on...house arrest until I figure out what to do." Kevin's voice had been surprisingly cool.

"Keep calm," Sam had said quickly. "We're coming to get you out."

"Like I haven't tried to leave? This is a _bunker, _guys. You can only unlock it from in the inside. Don't worry, if I can read a demon tablet, breaking out of a bunker should be a picnic."

"But-" Sam's voice had broken, lost for words. _How could he be so calm about this? _

"Well..." Dean had struggled for something to say. "What about...food? I mean, what are you going to eat?"

"I survived six months on hot dogs. You do realize how much food you have here, Dean? I could live for a year down here and maintain at least ninety percent of my body fat."

"Uh..." Dean too, found himself speechless. "Right..." He had spun his finger around his temple at Sam. _Weirdo. _

"Don't worry about it. I'll get myself out...plus it's kind of the safest place to be, in here."

_Ah...No wonder he's so calm about it, _Dean thought dryly. "Well...we'll call you every couple of days then...to make sure you uh, don't gnaw your hands off or something." He had given Sam an stumped shrug.

"You do that," Kevin had said, and Dean had been almost able to hear Kevin's eyes rolling.

That had been twelve days ago- Dean checked on him regularly, but Kevin- who still had all his appendages- had made no progress. Suddenly without their home base, they went back to the old standby- they booked it to a hotel room someplace safe and relatively monster- and _angel _- free, in some sleepy town somewhere in Missouri. Whatever was wrong with Sam, they could deal with it in stride- or so the little brother said, to Dean's chagrin- because there was a bigger problem on their hands.

Every angel was now trapped on Earth.

And Castiel was missing.

Despite his avid protests, Dean knew Sam had been right when he insisted they cover the walls with angel wards. As much as Dean wanted to find Cas, he knew that without them they'd might as well put of a sixty-foot neon sign with the words "DUMP ANGELIC WRATH HERE" emblazoned on the front. Dean could find the angel another way.

It was a Friday evening, two weeks after Heaven had puked up all the dicks with wings and Castiel had disappeared. It was twelve o'clock at night and Dean was searching on Sam's laptop, still adamant on finding a shred of a clue that would lead to Cas. Sam was on the bed, fully clothed and eyelids drooping.

"Dean," he said, his drowsy voice gentle. "Maybe you should catch some winks." He gave his brother an imploring look.

Dean didn't even turn. "No thanks," he replied briskly.

"Dean-" Sam started, but his tone was halfhearted. They did a replay of this same conversation every night. The stocky Winchester at the desk held up a hand, cutting Sam off, and his eyebrows slammed down in annoyance. White light from the computer screen cast eerily onto his face, accentuating his features and making him look even more intense. He finally turned to look at Sam.

"Sam, not tonight. Look at this- a rash of unexplainable prisoner deaths at this prison facility a couple cities west- the bodies there, three in total, were completely unmarked and-"

"Dean!" Sam shouted. Dean clamped his mouth shut, his nostrils flaring. "Dean, you need to stop. You're gonna lose your mind if you keep going like this."

There was a brief period of silence and Dean turned as red as a tomato. "At least I'm doing something!" Dean barked. Sam flinched at the venom in his brother's tone. "At least I haven't _given up! _I haven't thrown in the towel! I mean, look at yourself, so tired you can barely keep your eyes open! There are angels on the loose, Sam! Castiel's AWOL, Crowley's disappeared, you're so sick you couldn't run ten fucking feet- but I still haven't given up! And I never will!" Dean's face was red with rage, but all of his pent-up frustration blew out in one gust upon seeing the poorly hidden hurt on his little brother's face. "Aw, damn it, Sam. You know me. I can't just quit."

"Yeah, Dean," Sam said quietly, after an uncomfortable moment. He cursed himself for letting his weakness show so plainly on his face- it only gave Dean more cause to stress. "I do know you. But don't think for a second that I've quit! Sure I'm a bit under the weather-" Dean raised an unamused eyebrow, and Sam gave an him a _what?_ look. _Well, maybe a little more than a bit. _"-but I have helped you! Researched! So don't get pissed at me, Dean. Don't think you're alone in this. I wouldn't give up. Not after everything..." He stared at his hands. "...Not now. I just- I just think you're pushing yourself too hard- _like always. _You always take the brunt of everything, carry it all on your shoulders. But that's what _I'm _here for, Dean." Sam swallowed. "'Because...because I'm your brother. I help you shoulder the weight."

Dean fell quiet, and his hands dropped from the table into his lap. _But what if you can't handle the weight? _he thought to himself. But he knew voicing that would only lead to more fighting. "Okay, Sam. Okay. I could use some sleep. Maybe I'll hit the sack in an hour or so. Alright?" His broad shoulders heaved in a weary sigh.

Sam looked unconvinced. "Yeah, you say that. And I go to sleep and you stay up like usual. I'm not stupid, Dean." Inhaling, he swung his legs slowly off the bed and walked over to Dean. Without giving Dean a second glance, he scooped up the laptop and and shut it with a snap. Then he slid it under his bed. Dean, too exasperated to take it back, swore under his breath and shot his brother a dirty look. Sam smiled innocently in return, and he flicked off all the lights in the room. Then he trudged back to the bed and sat down with a_flump. _Then he eyed Dean expectantly, crossing his arms. Dean made an irritated grunt from the back of his throat.

"Fine...mother. But I ain't reading no goddamn bedtime stories or kissin' ya goodnight."

"Oh, I'm so torn up."

Dean clomped over to the opposite twin bed and flopped down face first. Sam gave a relieved sigh, tugged off his boots, and settled calmly into his sheets. His mind thanked him graciously as he closed his eyelids. Dean rolled his eyes in irritation, but kicked off his shoes and, flipping over, stared at the ceiling with his mind.

He clicked his tongue and drummed his fingers on the comforter.

He traced shapes in his mind on the dotted yellow ceiling. Sam's eyes flicked open.

Dean started humming the chorus to the AC/DC song _Thunderstruck. _

Sam rolled his eyes in his own bed, inches from flinging himself on Dean's bed and throttling him, or at least knocking him out so he would shut up.

"Yeah, Sam, this isn't gonna cut it," Dean announced loudly. Sam groaned and squeezed his eyes shut..

"Dean...Just try, dammit."

"I'm too wound up! You're gonna have to get some chloroform or put me in a drug-induced coma or, not that I'm suggesting it, maybe use a frying pan..." Dean's voice faded off grouchily. He was about to get back up when Sam started mumbling something to himself.

"What are you babbling about?" Dean grumbled, bored enough to ask.

"Coma...coma...Coma- _coma! That's it!" _Sam sat straight up and Dean jumped in surprise. He leaned up to stare at his brother, and Sam jerked his head to Dean, his brown eyes widening.

"Dean! You're a genius!"

Dean floundered for words for a moment. "Y-Yeah. I know. Of course I am." He blinked.

"Remind me why I'm a genius exactly?"

Sam's eyes glimmered with excitement. He yanked the computer from the ground and powered it back on, his mouth tilting into a grin.

"Don't you get it, Dean? We looked for Cas all over the place- checked for amnesiacs and crazies. But we didn't check _comatose_patients."

Dean's eyes widened incredulously. _It can't be that easy. _"Why would Cas be in a coma?"

"I don't know- maybe the angel Trials, or Metatron put him in one. All I'm saying is that it would explain why we haven't found him- why he answered our prayers-"

"That's the sketchiest idea I've ever heard," Dean interrupted bitterly. "There are hundreds of possible explanations for that." He wasn't naive enough to hop onto the 'here's hoping' pony- he didn't half the strength to have his hopes rise and vanish like that.

Sam struggled for an excuse. "Well, what's the harm in checking?"

Dean rubbed his face anxiously. "There isn't, but...Where would the hell would we even start anyway?"

Sam was already typing before Dean could think of a piss-poor excuse not to look- he knew his brother was weary of false leads and hope that would as the lead to disaster- but Sam had hope. He always did. "All you gotta do..." Sam leaned back in victory, and turned the computer for Dean to see, "...is depend on crappy conspiracy tabloids." Dean leaned forward to read it.

_ALIEN FROM ANOTHER PLANET?! _the article speculated melodramatically, letters emboldened and large. _Two weeks ago, the sky rained unexplainable fire like the sky was itself was falling. There are many speculations to the cause of said phenomenon, but there can be only one true answer, one brewing in the back of every American's mind...Off Earth life-forms? Could it be possible? Yes. One the same night the 'meteor shower', as the government calls it, a mysterious man was found by a man driving down highway 23. "It was out in the middle of nowhere," the driver, wishing to remain anonymous, informed us. "He just collapsed on the road in front of my car." The man was driven to the hospital where he inexplicably fell into a coma. We were unable to enter the hospital to question doctors but answers will soon be uncovered- is that man connected some way to the 'meteor shower'? _

Dean couldn't push down the sudden overwhelming urgency swelling in his chest, but verbally he still denied it. "That- that could be any angel though- or hell, anyone! How can we be sure it's him?"

"You can't," Sam said. "But if it is an angel, we sure as hell need to talk to him."

Dean sighed again, and nodded. "Where is he?"

"A small town in Arkansas." Sam inhaled sharply- _finally, something for them to do._

"Which hospital?"

"If I tell you, you'll just leave." Dean grimaced, and looked like he was about to argue. Sam spoke before he could. "We should leave early tomorrow morning."

"'Tomorrow morning'?! Screw that, we're leaving now!" Dean got to his feet and jammed his boots back onto his feet.

"Dean, c'mon! You just said you would catch some sleep!" Sam protested, and felt his legs twitch in anticipation, ready to get to his feet. Despite the fact Dean would probably knock him out with one punch, he planned on making his brother at least take an hour nap- he of all people knew how sleep deprivation could affect someone. And there was a five, six hour drive ahead of them. Sam wasn't past using the computer to KO his older brother.

Dean paused, and he made his face wrinkle with thought even though his mind was already made up. Then he mock-sighed and turned to Sam. "But-"  
_  
"Sleep," _ordered Sam, not looking very authoritative with his own dark circles and pallor. Dean made a big show of looking pissed off, then stomped back over to his bed. Then staring at Sam angrily, he threw off his shoes so hard one nearly hit Sam in the face. Sam snorted. Dean then jerked away from his brother and wrenched his eyes shut.

He could hear his brother sigh in relief, then after what seemed like _forever, _his breathing began to slow and he started to make soft sleep-like noises in the back of his throat. Dean rolled his eyes, and disentangled his legs quietly from the sheets. Then he scooped up the nearest shoe and slid it on. Then, painstakingly softly, he padded over to Sam's bed and leaned down, grabbing the other shoe without taking an eye off Sam's shaggy head. There was a moment where he groaned and turned over in the sheets and Dean's heart sped up. But then he grabbed the keys from the table, his bag of spare clothes, and snuck out the front door. The night was cool and crisp, and the asphalt on the ground was slick with fresh, light water from sprinkling rain. He walked over to the Impala, throwing his stuff in, and leapt into the front seat.

He knew his brother wasn't ready for a confrontation with an angel. He wasn't ready for a confrontation with a toaster oven, let alone a warrior of God. Dean could handle it, he was sure of that, and his brother's worry about him irked him. _Worrying is my job._ This was him keeping Sam safe, for the moment- and finding Cas sooner. If it wasn't him- Dean swallowed roughly- then that angel was gonna have a long, nice conversation with him. A good long talk. If it was, then it was the next step to figuring out this angel problem- and Cas would be found. He twisted the keys into the ignition and sped off towards the nearest gas station- it would have the tabloid there, and he would find out the location of the hospital.

൧

Little did Dean know, Sam had opened his eyes and gotten to his feet the second he snuck out the door. _Goddamn it, Dean. _But he had seen this coming. And Sam knew his brother was resourceful enough to find the hospital.

He also knew Dean would want to leave him behind- didn't think he was strong enough to handle an angel. That's where he was wrong. Sam, gathering all their stuff from the room, slung a couple bags over his shoulder and moved towards the door.

He had a car to steal.

He jerked open the door, but his jaw dropped at seeing who was standing at the door. He stumbled backwards, his bags falling from his back, and his eyes widened. The stranger at the door quietly stepped into the dark room, and Sam fell into a defensive position.

"Who- who the hell are you?"


	3. Fatigue

**_Chapter Two_**

Fatigue

_ Six hours later _

Dean made it to Twin Pines County Hospital in record time. The town, Twin Pines, Arkansas was miniscule and the only reason it was a town was because all the business from logging down with the massive amount of trees in the area. It was raining when he pulled into town, but it quickly became light sprinkling as he followed the signs directing him to the hospital. He parked quickly into the barren parking lot, which was dappled with only a few sleeping cars. It was almost six in the morning. Moving his tired legs out of the Impala, he walked slowly through the drizzly gray air. He luckily hadn't had any close calls while making the drive- _except for that goddamn electric car that went five fucking miles an hour _- but now that he was moving again his eyelids started to droop. He shook his head like a dog trying to get water out of its ears, flinging the drowsiness away. He had to focus. Rubbing his bleary eyes, he walked into through the hospital's automatic doors. It was quiet and only a few scattered nurses and doctors were up and moving through the hospital hallways. He approached the front desk and gave a small smile at the tired looking young woman at the front desk wearing blue polka dot scrubs.

"Hello, sir. Can I help you?" Her voice was polite but weary. She wore her dark hair in a tight ponytail and she was petite, with green eyes and a cute mouth. He gave her another small smile and her eyes perked up. _Even after all this, I still got it. _

"Yes, I heard that you had a man found a couple weeks ago out by Highway 23?"

The nurse's face fell. "God, you're not one of those reporter people or conspiracy theorists are you?"

"No, no, no," Dean said quickly, holding up empty palms. "You see, he's my cousin." The nurse raised a dark eyebrow. He quickly came up with a story. "He went camping around the forest near the highway- he, uh, just got through a bad break-up with his...girlfriend and he wanted some time to himself, you know?" _Girls love the sensitive types. _Just as he hoped, the girl's eyes glistened with sympathy. "He called me the night before he, uh, disappeared. I figured he went radio silent because he wanted more alone time. I didn't think much of it, but then I started getting worried. So I went to his campsite and he wasn't there and I heard from a friend that a man was found..." For once, Dean didn't have to fake the worry in his tone.

"I see," the nurse said kindly. Dean tried to give a worried smile- it wasn't that hard. She patted his hand from across the desk, then walked around. "Follow me. I'll let you speak with his doctor- Doctor Matlock. He's a wonderful, skilled physician." _Matlock? _Dean mouthed as he followed her down the hospital hallway. _Really? _His eyes skirted around suspiciously. The last time he was in a hospital he and Sam had been under the care of some rather ravenous Leviathan dicks with stubborn intentions to eat them or deliver them to the _dick _Dick Roman. Fun times.

The entered the ICU ward of the hospital and she directed him at a tall, dark-skinned man with a clipboard in hand, speaking with another nurse. Noticing them approaching and the nurse's gesture, he walked easily towards them.

"How can I help you, sir?" he asked. "I'm Doctor Matlock."

_ Riiight. _"How ya doing?" he said, tentatively shaking hands with the man.

"This is..." The nurse paused. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Ah, my name is Dean. Dean Johnson." _Common enough last name. _

"Yes. Mr. Johnson here is cousins with our comatose John Doe."

"Oh?" Dr. Matlock said with surprise. "Well, I'm relieved someone came to claim him. Your cousin's room is Room 270. This way." The nurse nodded goodbye reluctantly and Dean smiled tightly and followed the Doctor to a closed room at the furthest room to the right. Heartbeat beginning to flutter in his chest, he reached for the doorknob, but he suddenly felt the doctor's chocolate colored hand on his arm. Eyes narrowing, he met the deep brown eyes of the doctor.

"Mr. Johnson, before you enter this room, I must insist upon asking you a few questions."

"Just...just let me see if it's him, alright?" Dean asked pleadingly, trying not to look desperate. He was going to get into the room someway, but it was best to do it without making a scene. And the growing need to see if the angel was in there grew stronger and stronger the more he tried to not punch Dr. _Matlock _in the face and burst inside.

The doctor relinquished his hand, and Dean felt his lungs feel cut off from oxygen. His hand, with fingers trembling, grasped the shiny doorknob firmly. He felt his already-racing heart pick up like a hummingbird, he opened the door and stepped inside.

His heart nearly broke upon seeing his- damn right, his- angel on the bed, eyes closed with IVs in his arm and a heart monitor displaying a soft, calm thumping of his heart. His eyes poured over Castiel as if it had been two years instead of two weeks, and he felt like he couldn't look away. His black hair was tousled and messy and his eyelids, framed with dark lashes, were a deep blush of lavender. His clefted chin was peppered with shadowed gristle, and his cheeks were pale. Yet his broad lips were still palest pink. Instead of his trademark trenchcoat and tie, he was wearing a blue hospital gown and his muscular, dark haired arms were limp on his bed beside him.

"Cas," he whispered.

"Cas." The doctor walked quietly to his side. "So his name is Cas? A name to the face. I've been dying to know." He turned to Dean. "Mr. Johnson...I assume you'll want to know your cousin's condition."

"Yes," Dean said quietly, unable to rip his away from his silent friend. "How's he doing, Doc?"

"When your cousin was dropped off two weeks ago, he sustained a major concussion. We don't know what from, his head is perfectly unmarked, but after a detailed CT scan it was revealed he has a unique form of tissue damage. I'm glad he was brought in, untreated it could have been fatal."

"What do you mean 'unique'?" Dean asked hoarsely, his heart in his throat.

"It means that if he wakes up I can't anticipate what his symptoms will be- not that _that's _uncommon, but the concussion is...perplexing. It seems to be healing successfully, but his brain itself is not recovering." The doctor's eyes tightened in professional sympathy.

Dean struggled for words. "So...does that mean he might not wake up?" The doctor pursed his lips in acknowledgement. It seemed impossible to fathom, but he had to bring himself to ask. Fear started to travel through Dean in waves, and each wave made his knees feel like buckling. _Oh, Cas, _his mind whispered in horror. _You can't...just..._The idea of suddenly being without him, without his angel choked him. Seeing him lying there...if he never woke up- Dean would lose yet another friend- but not _just _a friend. Someone he deeply cared about. Unequivocally.

Dean closed his eyes and walked over to the angel. "Cas..." He leaned close, so close he could feel the heat come off him, smell him- he smelled familiarly of heather and evergreen. "Listen to me, you son of a bitch. I know you can hear. You're. Going to. Wake up." Dean swallowed, pressing his lips together intensely. "And you're going to be fine. I don't care what I have to do, even if I have to make a deal- yeah, you heard me. A fucking _deal. _You know what that means to me, and I don't care. Because you're going to wake up. Because we- I- need you awake. Awake and kicking ass- because they're all here now, and Sam's getting worse. And I..I don't have anyone else. I- I need you to wake up...Alright?" His voice broke, and his face threatened to crumple. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt pinpricks in the back of his eyes. _Damn it, I'm not gonna cry. Not in front of Dr. _Matlock, _for Christ's sake. _

"Maybe I should give you some time alone," the doctor said, his voice odd. Odd, as in _snarky. _But Dean hardly noticed.

He straightened. "Nah, It's...it's okay, Doc." Dean sighed heavily. _What am I gonna do now? _He turned to look at Dr. Matlock to ask him more questions on Cas's condition, but nearly crashed into Cas's heart monitor stumbling backwards.

"What- what the hell?! I thought...I thought you were _dead!" _

"Oh, trust me, Dean-o. I _was." _

Gabriel's smile grew wide across his face.

** ൨ **

_Back the Motel, Six Hours Ago _

The stranger snapped his fingers and all the lights in the motel flicked on. Sam's mouth dropped and he felt the air whoosh out of his lungs. "G-Gabriel?" he whispered, voice hoarse.

"Ding ding ding, you win a prize!" In the blink of an eye, a small Hershey's kiss popped into existence on Sam's shaggy head. Sam wagged his head in response, sending it flying. "How's my favorite Winchester doing?"

Too stunned to reply, Sam just stood there staring at Gabriel. The archangel was wearing a olive collared shirt and jeans, and looked almost...normal. In fact, he looked better- healthier- than he did since Sam last saw him- which was ridiculous, because he was supposed to be dead. His usually slicked back brown hair had grown shaggy, fuller, and long, falling all over his forehead and tumbling over his ears. It was lighter- in the dark strands he saw smooth hairs of honey, and he had a bit more bangs brushing over his straight dark brows, making him look younger. He had a bit of a beard was growing in lightly under his lip. His tawny eyes were wide and carried less fatigue than they used to. He'd gotten a tan, and he was wearing boots, so he seemed taller.

He looked...

_Don't! _Sam's mind spluttered, stunning himself. _Don't say good! _

Gabriel's eyes crinkled in what looked like, surprisingly, concern. "Oh, Sammy. You don't look so hot." He stepped forward, but Sam stumbled back a step, swallowing roughly. He tried to ignore the sudden worry in Gabriel's eyes as they swooped over Sam, taking in his pallor and dark circles.

"You- you were dead." It was just too impossible, seeing him now, over three and a half years later. Too long accepted.

"Right again- I know, shocking. Me, the trickster, done in by my naughty older brother? Seems too violent to comprehend." The angel clapped eagerly and gave a little spin on the heel of his boot. "But I'm back now! And ready to ride the Winchester roller coaster to perdition."

"How?" Sam gasped, the question simple but encompassing so many things.

"Long, long story, but I'll try to sum it for you. I died. Plain and simple. Being all heroic, mind, saving you, Kali, and your brother's asses from Luci, but I see you forgot about that," Gabriel said, and for a moment a flicker of hurt registered in his champagne brown eyes, but it was quickly crushed by the return of his usual arrogance. "So...being an angel and after repenting for all that..ah, stuff I did-"

"Stuff like the Mystery Spot? Killing my brother over and over again in a sick time loop to teach me a lesson? Killing those people at the college? Trapping us in TV Land- getting me hit in the groin on a Japanese game show?!" Sam, despite forgiving Gabriel for everything else, never quite got over that. Why the hell would he? That had fucking _hurt! _

A flush spread in the angel's cheeks. Sam hadn't expected Gabriel to feel _bad _about the thing he had done- so the blush made Sam feel like maybe he had dredged up memories that needed to stay in the past. "Well, yeah. I was...forgiven. So I got the express ticket to Heaven to live out eternity in peace. But what with the damned apocalypse going on and whatnot...I got...reinstated."

"Reinstated?" Sam echoed. "So you became an angel again?" After the initial shock settled across his face, rage boiled in the Winchester's chest. "Do you even know what's happened since you kicked the bucket?! Do you know how many times we could have used your help?!"

Gabriel held up a hand, and Sam gritted his teeth and looked like steam would shoot out of his ears. "Sam..." The tone of Gabriel's voice suddenly made all the rage in Sam's gut drop like he was riding a roller coaster. The angel's shoulders slumped, but defiance still glittered in his eyes. He walked over to the table, and Sam slowly followed and sat across from him. "You don't understand. At that time, we were still at war with the demons, and they were still trying to get Luci and Mike to wear you Winchesters to the prom. They knew I was on the human's side- I was an average angel then, just recovered my grace. I wasn't the powerful, sexy badass angel archangel you remember." Gabriel smirked and Sam rested his cheek on his palm, looking unimpressed. "They kept me on house arrest, pretty much chaining me in Heaven." Sam's eyes widened sensitively, straightening, and Gabriel didn't miss the change on Sam's expression. "Trust me, demotion sucks. I was barred from Earth. I couldn't leave. I just had to watch as you, thankfully, stopped Lucifer and jumped into hell. I noticed as you came back all 'EXERCISE! HUNT! SEX!' and rocked the bed with every chick who caught your eye- I have to say, that hippie alien conspiracy chick was my personal favorite." Sam gave him an epic bitchface, and Gabriel chuckled. "I watched as you lost your sanity after you got your soul back." Sam started to open his mouth to say something, but the angel across from him powered on.

"I watched the Leviathans slowly dominate the globe. I had to hide, the day Cas came back with those goddamn Leviathans in his system. Luckily I had the sense to stick with Joshua- who is one smart cookie by the way. Then Dean and Cas went to Purgatory. You got your girlfriend. And now this whole Trial mess. Speaking of which...Jesus Christ, Sam! Why are you Winchesters so self-sacrificial? Haven't you been through enough?" Gabriel cocked his head sympathetically at Sam, who sighed. With a flick of his eyebrow, a drink appeared in front of him. It looked like...ginger ale? He pushed it towards the worn Winchester with a small smile. Sam, eyeing it imperiously, raised a tentative hand and slid his fingers around the cool glass. He tried not to be touched by the subtle gesture.

"But what about afterwards?" Sam pressed, eager to move on from the subject of his health. Seeing the concern in Gabriel's eyes was both uncharacteristic and...unsettling. He sipped on his drink to avoid meeting Gabriel's gaze. It was cool and soothed his raw throat, and the carbonation filled the maw of hunger in his stomach.

Gabriel shook his head, his stare breaking off as his eyes drew upward. "You don't know what's it's been like in Heaven- factions of angels, split up in mobs- Naomi's a regular Michael Corleone, except with screwing around with Cas's mindbox." Gabriel's lip curled into a snarl at that. "It wasn't until recently that I regained my archangel status- thanks to Heaven's green thumb. Did I mention Joshua? He's like, my favorite brother now. Besides Cassie of course...who is in a predicament himself, I'm afraid." Gabriel's voice softened and Sam set down his glass. "And we bring ourselves to the present- with every angel dumped on Earth like scat into a litter box."

"I know. I think I found Castiel, and I was about to leave after Dean- he snuck out to find Cas alone."

"Ah, Dean. _You're _the Winchester who brunts the physical- aside from that Lucifer mind-fuck stint-" Sam winced at Gabriel's choice of words. "It's always Dean who handles all the mental stress of juggling it all, doesn't he? The struggle of the older brother...thank God I'm the middle child." Eyes wandering, the angel found the wards on the walls and grimaced at them. "Those suckers made it a real pain in the ass, hunting you down. But it was smart- more than a few angels out there wouldn't mind slicing you up into little bite-size pieces and feeding you to a Labrador."

Sam shrugged and shuffled his feet in the chair. "Yeah. Things aren't looking real good, Gabriel."

"I know, Sammy..." Gabriel said, voice imploring, trying bring Sam's focus to him. It worked, and they met eyes- chocolate meeting golden brown. "And I know me and my proud self don't look like it but..." Gabriel's voice quieted and Sam's eyebrows raised as the angel gnawed on his lower lip. "Being so powerless to help up in Winged Wonderland was...painful. After standing up to my family for you two, being suddenly cut was like being cheated. And I'm the one that does the cheating, not the other way around! So now that I'm back here...you should know...that while I'm not going to be the angel to yank around wherever you please like Sleeping Cassie-" Gabriel seemed very insistent on making that point "-I'm going to help." Sam tried to cover his surprise by taking another sip of his ginger ale and the archangel conjured a beer and took a quick swig. The angel looked like he was trying very hard not to make a smart-ass remark to get rid of the seriousness of his speech.

"Help put my brothers and sisters back in their rightful place, bring Cas back, kick Metatron's traitorous ass-" the angel's voice was a brief snarl "-and even help you recover from your illness. I know, I know, I don't have to do this, I'm so generous it hurts you to say it, I know I'm the greatest archangel in the history of history-" _And there's the smartassery, _Sam thought with an enormous eyeroll.

"Not at all," Sam said dryly. Gabriel gave him a snarky smirk, and Sam tried to keep a smile off his own face. The archangel's smiles were always contagious. "We need your help, Gabriel."

Gabriel clutched his heart mockingly. "It means so much to hear you say that, Sammy. Right in the feels." He chuckled for a moment. "But damn right you do. I mean, sheesh- how are you boys even alive? Well, technically you died a lot, but how are you _currently living?_" Sam gave another shrug and allowed himself a small smile. He honestly didn't know how either.

"But what with you hating my ass for that Mystery Spot thing and my...games...It's okay if you don't want my help."

"Gabriel, I already said that we could use your help-"

"Yeah, I heard you, but do you _want _it? Working with you isn't gonna be any fun if you crap all over my happy, bubbly mood with past grudges." He said it passively, like it was no big deal, but Sam saw through his 'don't give a shit' facade. If he wasn't mistaken, it seemed important to Gabriel that Sam forgive him for past...issues. That was, simply put, odd. Little did he know, Sam had forgiven the angel long ago.

"Gabriel," he said seriously, leaning forward onto the table. Gabriel blinked, and his eyebrows creased as he stared at the tall Winchester, his passive mask falling away. Sammy had always been the outwardly kind one, but the look in his doe eyes was unusually soft and caring. "All is forgiven- since Elysium, or hell, maybe before that. You _sacrificed yourself _for us- gave us the chance to escape Lucifer. That alone gives an A in my books- never mind that you came back to help us a second time." His voice was steady, but on the inside, Sam felt like he was shaking. Saying the words felt companionably personal, like he'd been friends with Gabriel for years. He had to swallow in order to continue. "So I mean it when I say it would be great helping us out. Really."

"Really?" the angel echoed. At first he looked unconvinced, but as he viewed the sincerity and the kindness on the young Winchester's face, his features changed to show disbelief and relief. A small, mischievous smile worked its way onto his face.

"Really," Sam said gruffly as he wrestled with the strange tangle of emotions in his head, and felt his heart give a ragged thump in his chest. _What the hell? _he thought at himself. The strange connection he had felt to the archangel since he walked into the door bewildered him to no end. But it wasn't entirely unwelcome, he admitted to himself. _I don't...hate it. _

All of the sudden, a wave of dizziness crashed in his head, and Sam's eyelids fluttered. A groan passed from his throat, and he watched a drop of red fall onto the desk like a scarlet tear. He raised a shaky hand to his nose and drew it back to see bright blood on his fingers. _Great, _his mind muttered through the nauseating headache. His eyebrows furrowed and he grimaced.

"Oh, kiddo," Gabriel said, trepidation crossing his normally arrogant face. Suddenly, the archangel was a blur of movement. He immediately had a handkerchief in hand and he dabbed at Sam's leaking nose. "You really need rest."

Even more befuddled by the intimate gesture, Sam tried to get to his feet, but his breathing hitched and his knees buckled as a sudden, agonizing wave of pain rippled through his arms. Through his shirt a bright, writhing light traveled through his arms. Sam gritted his teeth, and tried to hold back the cry of hurt as it raged incessantly in his veins. If it were possible, Gabriel's face looked almost terrified as he caught the Winchester, easing his fall.

"Jesus Christ, Sam," he gasped, bending down to Sam's level. He felt the angel's cool hands on his shoulders, and he wrenched his eyes open to meet Gabriel's alarmed tawny eyes. His eyebrows scrunched in pain and he tried to control his breathing. _Remember what Dean said. Just...just let it go. _Breathing raggedly, he wrapped his arms around himself and mouthed the words. _Just let it go, just let it go. _

"Let it go, Sammy," Gabriel breathed, his face crumpling as he viewed the hunter's tortured expression. The light slowly started to fade away, and Sam nearly fainted in relief as the powerful waves winked out, leaving his arms rubbery but normal.

"It's...it's okay. I'm good. It's gone."

"No, you're not okay. You're _not. _" Sam couldn't help but be stunned as he looked blearily at the compassion on the archangel's face.

"It'll pass, it always- _Whoa!_ Whoa, Gabriel! What the _HELL _are you doing?" Sam spluttered and kicked as he was suddenly lifted into the air. It looked ridiculous, short Gabriel lifting up the gigantic Winchester like he was no more than a toddler. One arm looped under Sam's back and the other gripped near the crease of his knee. For a moment Sam looked like an extremely overgrown, extremely mortified child.

"Wow. You're heavy, Sasquatch." Gabriel shot the mystified Winchester a winning grin.

"Gabriel! Put me _down!" _Sam struggled but the angel's grip was like iron.

"I don't think so, Samster. Your legs are like jello. I'd be surprised if you managed to crawl to the bed, never mind get on it."

"What?!" Sam roared. His brown eyes were blazing with angry pride and embarrassment.

_"Gabriel! _If you don't put me down- _right- now-"_

"What're you gonna do, huh? Gaze soulfully into my eyes till I pass out? Hardly." Sam shot him a hateful look and Gabriel walked over to the bed. There was the sound of fluttering sheets and suddenly the crappy, small motel bed became a soft, king size bed with blue egyptian cotton sheets and large fluffy pillows. Gabriel held the massive Winchester over it and dropped him like a child. The hunter bounced lightly onto the sheets, and Sam's eyes widened as he felt the cool, smooth sheets- the kind of sheets that you wanted to lounge on all day, twist and tangle yourself in.

Gabriel leaned backwards with a smug smile. "There. I put you down. Happy?" His eyes glittered with mischief.

Sam grumbled under his breath, but he couldn't keep himself from leaning back onto the plush, bouncy pillows and feeling intense fatigue draw his eyelids low. Gabriel crossed his arms, both smug and concerned. He hadn't realized how truly bad it was for Sam. And he couldn't help but feel...impressed. How the Winchester was on two legs, walking around and dealing with monsters on a daily basis- being so ill as he was- was beyond him. "Nice to see you can still kick pain in the ass."

"Yeah, well, you get used to it," Sam replied wryly, and Gabriel wasn't convinced. Sam didn't try to convince him anyway- he couldn't convince Dean, let alone himself. Sam's pallor was still ghostly and his lips were palest pink. The grey circles under his eyes seemed to have grown in the last five minutes.

"Evidently," Gabriel grumbled. He grabbed a pen from the side table, morphed it into a ice pack and set it gently on the bed next to the Winchester. At first the angel had the urge to hold to Sam's head himself, but he wrung it back. That, out of many things, would be awkward. Sam took it slowly and pressed it to his forehead. A sigh of relief escaped his parted lips.

"Thanks," Sam mumbled, his voice rough and barely audible.

Gabriel cupped a hand to his ear. "What? What was that, Gigantor?"

"I'm not gonna thank you if you're gonna be an asshole about it." The tip of Sam's lips twitched as he tried to smother a smile.

"If you're gonna work with me, the first thing you gonna learn is that I'm _always _an asshole. It's part of my sparkly, one-of-a-kind personality." Sam snorted and Gabriel laughed. Little did they know, both men felt a bonding warmth spread through them. And the brief, ever so slight touches of something else. There was an awkward, but not completely uncomfortable silence.

"Well, you should pay a visit to Mr. Sandman." Gabriel snapped his fingers and all the lights went out again. Sam gulped, realizing he was in a bed in a dark room with Gabriel. Why that suddenly made him nervous, he had no idea. He made to shove off his boots, but he realized that he wasn't wearing them.

He was shirtless and wearing fluffy, plush blue pajamas covered with big cross-eyed moose.

_"Gabriel." _The angel snickered, but sighed. Sam tried unsuccessfully not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the bottoms and he was wearing his normal jeans again. His shirt, however, was nowhere to be found. Sam sighed. "Thanks."

"Why, you're welcome, moosey. While you're asleep, I'll tinker on these wards, maybe add a few of my own. Just for the night. Early tomorrow we'll head to Cas's hospital. But so you don't commit grand theft auto, I have a plan on how to get there."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Like you care about car theft. As long as we don't drive there in a tank, I think however we _get _there will be fine so long as we get there. Fast."

"Oh, I was thinking something a little more creative than a tank." There was a chuckle that permeated the air long after the angel had disappeared to scope out the motel room from the outside. Sam felt his mind buzz with what he could mean by that, but eventually he gave in and drifted into sleep, feeling warm and safe for the first time in a long time.


	4. Only Human

_**Chapter Three**_

Only Human 

_Now, at the Hospital _

"What the hell, Gabriel?" Dean yelled. "You've been alive this _whole time? _" He almost lunged, fists clenched, at the archangel with the full intent on strangling him. "You son of a bitch! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

"Hold it right there, Deanbean!" Gabriel didn't really feel worried about what the Winchester could do to him, but he could get himself so pissed off that he wouldn't give the angel the chance to explain. Plus he didn't like the way his vessel looked with a black eye. Without even a wave of the hand Dean suddenly froze, his fist half raised and his mouth a paralyzed snarl. "Now, if you're not gonna play nice, I suggest you get comfortable. _But _if you let me explain, you can move of your own accord." Fire blazed hot in Dean's eyes, but Gabriel could see the reluctant resolve there too. He waved another hand. "Good boy."

Dean gasped upon being let free, now in full control of his lungs. In an attempt to keep his fingers from wringing the life out of the angel lounging coolly in front of him, he sat down next to Cas and gave him a long look. Would Cas want Dean to hurt Gabriel? He highly doubted it- he was big softie, at heart. Just thinking about Cas would say made him calm down. Something along the lines of _He's an archangel- and my older brother. You listen if you want to or not. _Castiel was always logical like that.

Gabriel took note of the doting look in Dean's eyes, and adding that to the conversation Dean just had with his comatose little brother, things were getting clearer and clearer. Gabriel couldn't quite decide to do with that juicy bit of gossip- he would think about how to torture Dean with it later.

"Well?" Dean asked darkly. "Give me the details- my anger is just taking a break. A short one. My patience is wearing pretty thin, too." Dean held up his fingers a dime's width apart to show just how much.

"First of all, before I regale you with my wonderful, selfless tale of daring heroism and break-neck survival, don't you want to know what's wrong with my little brother, first?"

Dean's mood flipped like a light switch. "Can you fix him?" His voice nearly stumbled over itself, hope inflating in his words. "Don't screw with me, Gabriel. Can you get Cas to wake up?"

"I'll do my best...but he's minus one super-important thing."

"And what's that?"

Gabriel sighed deeply, and looked at his brother with sadness in his syrupy eyes. "Dean...Metatron took Cas's grace."

Dean's mouth dropped. Shock and horror trickled across his face. "Jesus _Christ. _No wonder Cas is still...I'll _kill _that sonuvabitch!" Dean's eyes blazed, fury overcoming his shock, and his nostrils flared. "He took Cas's _angel mojo? _So, as far as that means, Castiel is a-"

"-human," Gabriel growled, feeling similarly about Metatron's betrayal. If he wasn't prancing and skipping about in Heaven completely away from his powerful reach, Gabriel would be feeding his ground-up body parts to Amazonian piranhas. "Our Cassie is completely vulnerable to anything you would be."

"But you're an angel!" Dean pleaded. "You should be able to heal him!"

Exasperation darted onto the angel's face. "You heard Dr. Matlock- aka, _moi. _Yeah, I know, not my most witty disguise," he said, before Dean could interrupt. "Castiel's condition is unique. When he struck Earth, something happened to his brain. Healing the brain is much more difficult than any other part of the human body. I could _repair _his brain, but that's no guarantee that Castiel could recover. It's like healing him would just plug him in...Castiel himself needs to 'wake up' and turn himself back on. Or else he would remain an unconscious- albeit healthy- ex-angel. It's best to let him heal on his own."

"What will happened if he wakes up, Dr. House?"

Gabriel shrugged. "I have no idea. He might be perfectly fine. He might have memory loss, he might get dizzy spells, he might start wearing worms as mustaches. I'm not a real doctor, you know. But just imagine a human mind suddenly having to bear hundreds of years of memories, losing powers that only an angel should have to deal with, let alone live without. It's too much for anyone or their mother."

"Thanks...that's real reassuring, Gabriel." He spared a sorrowful look at his angel friend, features sinking into defeated hurt.

"I'm just being honest. For once."

"And what about _you?" _Dean asked accusingly, snapping his attention back to Gabriel. "Where the hell have _you _been?"

"Maybe Sam should be here to help me explain. I have a feeling you're not going to be as open-minded as he was."

"Sam?" Dean gaped. _What did that son of a bitch do to my brother? _Gabriel flicked his fingers, and Sam suddenly appeared, fully dressed and long legs swaying. Dean sprang to his feet. Sam started, brown eyes flying open. But then he groaned. Sam yawned, his tongue arching in the back of his mouth, and he rubbed his sleepy eyes.

"Damn it, Gabe," Sam said drowsily. "I was asleep in the helicopter. Give a guy a warning next time, huh?" His eyes widened as he took in the scene before him- noting most particularly the unconscious Cas. "Oh, Cas..." His expression softened and his heart gave a small lurch. Another friend in the hospital. A small part of Sam had hoped it wasn't Cas, so he wouldn't have to be in this condition. But there he was, silent as the dead with a heart monitor and shallow breathing the only sign of life coming from his body. Dean and Gabriel took a weird form of appreciation from Sam's concern.

"'Gabe'?" Dean spluttered, once he had his voice back. "Since when are you on _nickname _basis with this dick? Is someone going to tell me what's going on? And- and-" his hands flew up spastically, "You were asleep in a _helicopter?" _

Sam shrugged. "That's how we got here. Gabriel apparently knows how to fly one. Don't ask me why we didn't just transport here- this is the Trickster we're talking about." Gabriel shrugged in a _guilty! _gesture. "I was really tired on the way down here...so I took a nap when we got close. Didn't actually know we landed." It seemed like such an innocent thing, but he couldn't help but feel guilty for...well, he didn't know exactly. Dean always made him feel guilty for something.

Gabriel felt an odd irritation upon seeing the guilt echo in Sam's eyes. He turned to Dean, his expression briefly pissed. "Who's the dick here? You know, the Ozark Mountains are surprisingly beautiful in this kind of weather," Gabriel said with an arrogant smirk. "You want a ride sometime?" Dean blanched at the thought of being in such a small machine so far up off the ground, and Gabriel and Sam shared a humored look.

"Oh, what, you're doing comrade stares now? What the fuck?"

"Look, it's really difficult to explain-" Gabriel started, but Dean looked like he couldn't hear. He started pacing, clutching his head.

"Goddamn it, do I have no one to simply depend on? I mean, I'm gone for _six _hours and already you're partying and flying around the county in a helicopter with _Gabriel?! _Do you know remember the times when you were in hell? When Bobby died? When Cas and I were in Purgatory? When you were dying from your Trials?"

Sam and Gabriel fell silent, hurt leaking onto their faces. Sam looked slightly more offended than Gabriel. "What do you mean, you can't depend on me?" Sam's lips tightened and his nostrils flared in anger. "Damn it, Dean, could you, for once, just _shut up?!" _Dean's mouth dropped open. "Shut up, and let us explain? _Before _you say dumbass shit like that?!" Dean started, and Sam started to bristle, his arms crossing in resentment. "You know full well you can trust me- didn't we _talk _about this? Two weeks ago? Jesus fucking Christ, Dean! I wouldn't betray you- you can always count on me! Don't be a _dick!" _A burst of hot air escaped his parted lips, and he tried to reign in his anger. It had been a while since he went out on Dean like that. Despite all the bottled up rage he had yet to expel, he had to admit it felt good.

Gabriel covered his wide grin and quirked his eyebrow at the tall Winchester, impressed. _Way to go, kiddo. _Sam took another breath and felt his cheeks flush upon seeing the archangel's approving glance. "The reason- the reason Gabriel couldn't help us was the angels had him on lockdown in Heaven. It was like he was... in angel prison."

Dean's eyebrows raised. This wasn't something he'd expected- Sam's outburst or his explanation. Regaining his composure, he crossed his arms. He was being a little dickish, but it was completely called for, in his opinion. "Wait, so you're telling me that you couldn't leave Heaven? Not for almost four years? Why should we believe you?"

Sam blinked, anger being shoved to the side by shock. He wondered why it had never occurred to him that Gabriel could be lying- lying his ass off with an endgame in mind or just because he was bored. Would he even do that? He certainly _could- _had before. They didn't call him the Trickster for nothing. But would he do it, _again? _The kindness Gabriel had shown the night before played in his mind. But then he remembered that even if it had been faked, even if Gabriel had lied, he still defended him and Dean from Lucifer those years ago, still got them out. He couldn't forget that.

But he was going to be pissed if it turned out everything that Gabriel had said was a total load of bullcrap.

"Because do you honestly think that I would've let the _Leviathans _take over?" Gabriel asked incredulously with a stunned laugh. _And that's just one reason, _Gabriel thought, eyes sweeping over Sam. "Those guys are fucking gross. Did you know as punishment, they make the ones who screwed up _eat _themselves? Thank God you ganked that Roman bastard."

Dean and Sam rolled their eyes. "Yeah, yeah, we know. The bib thing."

"Really, really gross," Sam remarked, somewhat redundant as his mind filtered through memories. Gabriel smirked at the repulsed expression on his face. With all his smarts and brains, Sam still had moments where he'd zone out or get slightly off-topic. That was somehow endearing to Gabriel.

"No kidding." Relieved, Gabriel seemed to take it in stride that the simple statement had convinced Sam and half-convinced Dean, so he continued. "I wouldn't have let my brother Cas get into so much trouble- or even you two...the apocalypse didn't stop your meddling, did it?" Gabriel sighed and met Dean's eyes. "Sam wasn't lying- neither was I. I was trapped in Heaven. I did menial, baby angel bullshit until someone took pity on me and restored me to my full archangel status again- I may have been a pain in the ass, but I had been a powerful pain in the ass. They thought that I would flip sides again if they gave me back power. Naomi probably would've tried to mess with my noggin and set me on _you _three if Metatron hadn't gotten poor Cassie over there to do the fake Angel Trials. That's only good thing that's come out of your finding that bastard. He should've stayed missing." Dean cast his eyes on the angel in the hospital bed at the mention of Metatron, and he sighed heavily.

Sam shook his head. "We thought he could help us. With my Trials. And he saved Kevin- we thought we could trust him." His eyes hardened with malice. "We were wrong."

"Yeah, well, now that all my egotistical brothers and sisters are on the loose we have to find some way to send 'em back- without anyone getting killed, or worse."

Dean smiled humorlessly. "Enlighten us please, with the details of your magnificent plan that will solve all of our problems."

"I'm not a mastermind, you know," Gabriel snapped. Then he paused. "Well, I am, but I don't know the answers to _everything. _What I_do_ know is that we have to get Cas awake. According to a couple of written texts that I found at Metatron's hiding place- and _yes, _I checked his house a couple days ago. I'm not a moron." Dean and Sam leaned back on their heels, trying not to look impressed. "From what I can glean from them, they say the person who performed the eviction is the only person who can reverse it. And that's our Castiel here."

"Right," Sam said. "So how are we gonna wake him up?"

"I have no frickin' idea," Gabriel said, exasperated. _Why do I have to come up with everything? _

"Maybe Dean should give him a princely kiss and rouse him from his enchanted slumber." Dean shot Gabriel a dirty look, and Gabriel grinned toothily at him. Sam smiled, and his eyebrows slanted downward in thought.

"Maybe we could get some African Dream Root or something...try dreamwalking?" Dean suggested.

"Are you crazy?" Gabriel asked. "You really wanna take a trip into hundreds of years of my little brother's memories? Going in there's like going into outer space without any dehydrated pizza. You'll be completely lost the second you go in there, and not even I will be able to get you out- not without risking of the chance of pushing Castiel further from recovery." The tall Winchester's eyebrows creased in thought and he sat lightly down in a small chair.

Dean paled. "So that's a definite no."

"Yeah. That's a very vehement _hell _no, short bus."

"Who's short?" Dean yelled, looking like he was going to try to punch Gabriel in the face again.

"Please, you two," Sam muttered. "Enough. I can only handle so much pride in one room."

Gabriel batted his eyelashes innocently as Sam, who swallowed roughly. "Ah, but my ego's so much _bigger _than your brother's, Samsquatch."

"Still," Sam grumbled, surprised that a blush was spreading across his cheeks. Dean rolled his eyes exaggeratingly. _What is it with angels and their incessant flirting? _For such emotionless beings, they played more with the heartstrings then fucking demons. With the Winchesters most especially. _Must be our masochistic charm, _Dean thought dryly.

"Well...Castiel's human now, right?" Dean asked hesitantly. Sam's eyes widened.

"He's what?"

"Metatron took his grace," Dean replied darkly. Sam's jaw fell slack.

"Bastard," he muttered. He glanced at Gabriel and Dean sympathetically- the people who cared about Castiel the most out of everyone. If it pissed Sam off he couldn't imagine how it was affecting _them. _

"What were you saying?" Gabriel asked Dean. He conjured a Milky Way and started chewing on it thoughtfully, hoping the rush of sugar would stimulate his mind. The he conjured a Three Musketeers and chucked it at Sam, who barely caught it. He stared at it dumbly. Why was Gabriel always conjuring stuff for him? It was oddly...nice.

"So if Cas is human now...won't he have all the human emotions? Do you think he can hear us?"

"It's possible," the angel contemplated. "But why should that matter?"

"Maybe Dean could say something to Cas that would wake him up," Sam pondered. He opened the chocolate bar tentatively- he needed the sugar to stay awake. Gabriel gave him a somewhat triumphant smile. Dean nodded, but then quickly shook his head.

"Why me? I mean, Gabriel's his brother. Plus Cas thought he was dead. That would be more shocking, wouldn't it?"

Sam shook his head, then gave a small smile. "'Dean and I do share a more profound bond,'" he said in a deep voice, capturing Castiel's words and tone pretty well for a first try. Gabriel burst out laughing as Dean reddened.

"He said that? Castiel did? Wow, you boys turned Pinocchio into a real boy!" Gabriel started turning pink with amusement and clapped his hands together. "Well, if that's the truth then it definitely has to be you, Geppetto. Or are you the Blue Fairy? I don't know. To me you're just one of the boys who got turned into an ass...but...give it your best shot." Dean grimaced after shooting daggers at the angel, and he turned to Cas. His expression flickered from annoyance to caring worry.

"Fine," he muttered. He pulled up a chair next to Cas. Sam and Gabriel watched intently. Dean turned slowly, giving them a royal _are-you-kidding-me _face. _Get the fuck out of this room, _his expression snarled.

Sam quickly got to his feet, tossing his wrapper into the trash. "Right, uh, Gabriel and I'll just...go get some breakfast." Everyone in the room knew full well that Gabriel could conjure up just about anything they wanted to eat, but for privacy's sake he latched onto Gabriel's arm. Gabriel blinked at his arm, stunned at Sam- at the hunter's easy contact with him. He felt a strange, warming sensation in his abdomen that kind of enjoyed, and a steady tingle traveled down from where the hunter's hand gripped his arm. Feeling as if his throat was closing up, he gave Dean a curt nod and Sam a small grin. Sam smiled awkwardly back.

"Bring me some blueberry muffins!" Dean shouted, just before they disappeared with the sound of wings brushing through the air. Staring briefly where they once stood, he then turned to Castiel. The room suddenly felt very quiet, almost suffocatingly so. Raking his eyes over the planes of Cas's face, Dean bit his bottom lip. What was so emotionally moving for him to say that it would wake Cas from a fucking _coma? _Seriously? Dean Winchester was not one for miraculous, sugary icing moments like in dumbass chickflicks. He was more a less words, more meaning kind of guy. If not a pessimist, Dean was at least a realist. No way could _words _wake Castiel up. And what on Earth could he say, anyway?

"Why do I always come up with the dumbest ideas?" he grumbled aloud. _Might as well give it a shot. _

_ I'm worried about you. _The sudden, obvious thought slammed into his head. Yeah, well, that was too clear. _I miss you. _Where was this train of thought coming from? _I'm desperate for you to wake up. Not just because we need your help. _Wasn't that interesting? All the thoughts Dean held back over the years pertaining to Cas broke through a carefully placed wall in his head. And there was a lot of emotions and thoughts back there, tangled in a profound, strangely intimate mess. Another big one wafted through his mind.

_ I...I care about you. _

Suddenly, an unusual blip stuttered on the heart monitor's screen. _Did I imagine that? _Dean thought, hazel eyes widening. He glanced quickly at the monitor and saw that it had picked up a quick extra beat. Castiel remained as silent as a dead man.

_That's weird. _He tried again.

_ Cas...you're...more than just a friend, more than just the angel on my shoulder to me. _

Two distinct, quicker blips. No, he definitely hadn't imagined it.

Cas could hear his thoughts.

Unbelievable. But he was...human! How could this be possible? Dean was relieved past his confusion, because his heart was in throat and he could barely make a sound. He powered on, his mind shooting out deep thoughts he had never shared with anyone else.

_I worry about you, constantly, even more when you're away from me or dealing with God knows what. Every time you disappear I can't help but wonder and agonize if you're going to come back. _More heartbeats, faster and faster. _And I'm terrified one day I might lose you for good. You wanna know why? _

Castiel's eyes started moving beneath his closed eyelids. There was a twitch of his finger. Dean's heart started to pound, almost as fast as the ex-angel's.

_ Because I...I haven't been able to get you outta my head. Not since the day we first met, not any day after. You're always there, dominating my thoughts and my dreams and keeping me going when I couldn't even depend on Sammy anymore. When you went dark side, it was even more painful for me because I thought I would never get you back- that I had lost you. Then we protected each other in Purgatory and I thought I had abandoned you. More like the opposite. I know it seems like I'm angry at you, and in truth I am a bit. But I'm just...defending myself. Because being without you is too painful for me. I- I can't handle that, Cas! I can't handle the _thought_of being without you! And seeing you lying here on this bed is killing me because I might not get the chance to tell you how I feel- how I feel about you- _

Dean's train of thought was sliced as if by scissors as the prone ex-angel in the bed suddenly jerked. Castiel's vibrant blue eyes popped wide open, and his lungs were desperate for air. His heart-rate skyrocketed and his heart monitor went up and down so fast it looked like a child trying to draw stripes with a green marker, raggedly and irregularly.

"Cas?!" Dean gasped, latching onto the angel's clenched hand. "Castiel?!" Dean rarely ever used the angel's full name- but his terror that the angel could be in danger made his eyes enlarge to the size of quarters. Face tight with concern, he screamed for a nurse as Castiel grabbed Dean's collar.

"I- I _know your face," _he choked, normally calm eyes wild. Bewildered by the angel's confusion, he did nothing but stare as the angel gasped and trembled, sweat breaking out on his forehead. Dean lifted his hands to his collar, sliding his hands over the clenched fists, and he gave them a reassuring squeeze. Castiel shuddered, and seemed to come back to reality. He met eyes with the stunned hunter, and his jaw fell slack.

"Cas," Dean whispered, his open mouth curling into a smile. He couldn't help himself from leaning forward and wrapping his arms around him. He was warm and firm, and so utterly real and here Dean almost felt his eyes burn with relieved tears. He felt Castiel stiffen under his sudden embrace, and he leaned back, gazing into Cas's cobalt eyes. "Thank God. You're awake."

Cas's face wrinkled as several emotions fought for dominance on his face. Finally, it settled on one that was familiar to Dean- confusion. The ex-angel cocked his head at him, and stared at the hunter's hands. That were still latched onto Castiel's shoulders. Dean blushed, and withdrew them. His eyes then darted quickly all over the room, eventually landing back on the hunter's face.

"Cas?" Dean asked carefully, seeing his evident mental fragility. A stone of concern formed at the pit of the Winchester's stomach. Cas slowly let go and let his hands drop back to the bed. He eyed the door as blue scrubs flitted into his peripheral vision. Two nurses bursted in, flurrying there hands. they stopped short in shock, seeing Castiel's suddenly awake form. If this had been a life or death situation, Castiel would've died from a heart attack or seizure. Dean was relieved Cas wouldn't be in their oblivious care for much longer.

"Oh my God! He's awake!"

"Yes," Dean said calmly. "Now, if you don't mind, could you find Doctor Matlock for me? I'd like to talk to him about my cousin here." The nurses, bewildered, scurried off to find a doctor that didn't even exist anymore. _That'll keep 'em busy for a while. _He turned back to Castiel, who'd been watching with a puzzled silence.

"Cas?" Dean asked, his eyebrows coming together. Castiel stared at him uncomprehendingly.

"What is that?"

The question hit Dean like a slap. "C-Cas-" he breathed.

"Is Cas...my name?"

** ൩ **

He could hear the sound of the man's thoughts. The desperation, the sincere compassion in them. He felt his heart pick up, galloping in his chest, and more words floated into his mind. _Cas, _they beckoned. _Wake up, Cas. _

All of the sudden, the world was bright again. He couldn't breathe- he had to gasp for breath. A small part of him reveled at that- the vulnerability of being deprived of oxygen. It seemed so trivial to him- the feeling that if he didn't breathe, he was going to die.

The other part of him was practically hysterical with confusion. Questions, questions he didn't want to care about ricocheted in his head unbidden. _Where am I? How did I get here? _He felt a warm, callused hand on his, and despite the odd familiarity of that hand, human instinct of fear made him try and jerk away.

"Cas? Castiel?"

He heard that name, that tip-of-his-tongue name voiced by that tip-of-the-tongue voice. For the life of him, he couldn't remember the name of that voice. But he recognized it. Deep, concerned, gruff. His eyes darted to the owner.

That face.

It struck him like a lightning bolt. He absorbed, devoured it all at once, in a matter of seconds. Tan complexion with rough gristle on a strong jaw. Scruffy, disheveled brown hair. Rich and intense hazel eyes wide with fear. Those eyes made him feel a strong and powerful urge- an urge with no feeling behind it. Just a wild, blind shove in the back of his mind. He felt his hands grasp the man's shirt collar uncontrollably.

"I- I know your face," he breathed. His voice was cracked and rough. The man's eyes- _those eyes, _how they haunted his missing memory like a ghost- were wide with fear. Castiel felt shock. He knew those eyes. They weren't usually afraid. They were strong. Brave. Never scared.

He felt those warm, callused hands again on his, but this time they gave him a squeeze that he realized was supposed to be reassuring. Why would he have to be reassured? Nothing was wrong.

"Thank God you're awake," the man said. Suddenly he was in the man's warm, enveloping embrace. His shirt was soft and a flame seemed to rise in Castiel's chest like a lit bonfire. It blazed bright and brighter. The man's strong arms encircled his back, completely and pressingly and his breathing quickened. So many emotions flickered through him. Reassurance. Calm. Relief. Longing. The feeling of safety. He felt his body tense all over in...what? Anticipation? The man noticed and let go, as if not to make him uncomfortable. Cas was unhappy he did so- he would have stayed in the man's arms forever if it were possible...the man's hands lingered on his shoulders, comforting weight. But they too were pulled back. He wondered if he looked disapproving at the contact. He certainly didn't feel disapproving of it. His eyes traveled around the room, realizing something else.

He was in a hospital- that alone was clear. The bed, the IV, the smell of cleaning supplies.

Why would he be in a hospital?

Because he was injured.

_ Yes. _

That explained everything, explained why he felt so confused. Being so confused was blindingly painful. Shockingly so. He turned back to the familiar face and felt his hands relax. As they relaxed, the man did. These people at the hospital- this man he faced- they could make the lost feeling in his chest disappear. Yes. That's what he wanted very much.

Two women that he vaguely noted were nurses burst in. Their harried eyes fell upon him in shock. There were surprised he was awake, that much was evident. He must have been gravely ill. Then the man next to him began speaking. What he said, if it were possible, made his mind even more scrambled.

He said cousin.

Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Castiel knew it couldn't be. He wouldn't feel so...haunted, so lured by the thought of a cousin. But why would the man say so? Why lie?

It wasn't correct- it couldn't be. The warmth, the sweet calm that hung over him in the man's presence couldn't be brought on by a distant relative. The connection was too...powerful for that. Too appealing and too dominating.

The nurses left hurriedly, and the man said that name again. "Cas?" His eyes were wide with apprehension as he met glances with him.

He gathered that the man was talking to _him. _Cas. The name was cripplingly familiar. For once, rightness rolled over him.

"What is that?" he asked intensely. He craved a straight answer.

The man looked like he had been struck. Dismay formed in Castiel's chest. Had he hurt the man's feelings? "C-Cas?" he stuttered.

"Is Cas-" He struggled to ask the question he needed the answer to so fiercely. "...my name?"

For a moment, the man just sat there stunned. Then his head fell into his hands.

"God_damn it. _Not again."


	5. Vulnerable

_**Chapter Four**_

Vulnerable 

Gabriel and Sam were currently sitting inside a small coffee shop that had just opened in the town square. It was still raining outside, and curtains of slick, thin water sluiced down the windows, casting faint, writhing shadows on their faces. They sat nearest the window, with a clear view of the stormy street outside. They had grabbed a small baggie of food for Dean- huge, fist sized blueberry muffins as he requested, and coffees and donuts for themselves.

Gabriel had _loaded _his caramel macchiato with cream and whole milk, added a lot of extra sugar, dropped in a Hershey's kiss he had pulled out of his jacket pocket, drizzled more caramel over the funnel of whipped cream sitting on top, and chilled his with his angelic powers, so it seemed he was having a dairy dessert instead of a coffee.

Sam's personal preference, a large triple red-eye- a coffee with three shots of espresso- was naturally full to the brim with caffeine. But he had been drinking the stuff since he was a kid, and he needed a bit more than just a coffee to get him leaping about on a caffeine high. But it was warm and familiar, and he had ordered it just the same. Nibbling absentmindedly on a chocolate cake donut, he sighed. The thought that Gabriel could be dragging him along, lying about his true intentions, kept nagging at the back of his mind.

"What is it, Gigantor?" Gabriel asked, taking note of his sigh. He licked a whipped cream moustache off his upper lip and Sam shifted. If Gabriel was telling the truth, asking him when had clearly said he was would only insult and upset him. And that was something Sam greatly did not want to do. He had been having a decent enough morning with the archangel, aside from Castiel's condition. Gabriel had gently woken him six hours ago and asked him if he liked flying. He had, drunk with sleep, absently said yes and all of the sudden he had found himself in the cockpit of a flying, thrumming helicopter with blue blades.

~~~~~~~This Morning~~~~~~~

"What the fuck, Gabriel?" he cried, after much more swearing and spluttering. The cold seat made contact with his back, making him yelp, which had moments ago been softly cushioned and warm in the bed Gabriel had waved into existence hours ago. He covered his ears as the insistence of the mind-blowingly loud copter's wings hammered a rhythm directly into his eardrums.

The smug angel next to him gave him a conceited eyebrow bounce, and he with another wave of the hand all the sound from the helicopter blades outside cut off, leaving the cockpit completely silent. His hands were on the cyclic in between in his legs and his feet were on the pedals. He glanced lazily at the huge amount of dials below the large glass panel. Sam's eyes squinted at the sudden, greyish light poured through the rounded, spotless window revealing open, stormy sky and below them, very far below them, acres of deep forest.

"Are we seriously flying right now? In a storm?" Sam asked Gabriel, shooting him a disbelieving look. He gazed at his legs, which were spread out in the surprising roomy two-person cockpit. They were encased, thankfully, in jeans, but the jeans weren't his. They were newer, almost designer brand. He was wearing an artfully dusty black, multi-pocketed jacket with a deep red long-sleeve shirt beneath, so he wasn't exactly cold. He wore his old, beat-up biker boots, and Sam rubbed his face drowsily.

"You looked surprised, Sammy. I told you this was going to be interesting. And, well, I'm...me. Did you honestly expect us to _drive _to Arkansas? And don't worry about the storm, or lightning or crashing. Haven't you noticed we're not getting rained on- Hello...archangel?" He pointed imperiously to himself. "We're invulnerable to the elements up here."

Sam tried to keep his expression from revealing how cool he thought that was. "Tell me you didn't just zap me from a hotel room with all my things inside into an airborne helicopter. Oh, wait. Of course you did." Sam wasn't being materialistic, it was a matter of principle. Zapping people was not what normal, mild-mannered guy should do. But he realized he was quite stupid to think that the eccentric, wild Gabriel would do anything normal anyway. _What was I thinking? _he thought sarcastically.

"I magicked your stuff into the back of Dean's Impala while putting up wards last night. Chill. I figured you'd want to see the great Ozark Mountains. They're pretty nice this time of day- despite the weather."

Sam was a little dumbstruck that the millions of years old archangel who used to kill people out of boredom would be appreciative of landscape scenery- let alone that he would want to share it with Sam. Yet again, it was a strangely personal gesture of companionship that the Winchester had not expected of the angel. A warm shiver spread through the hunter and he found himself smiling at Gabriel.

Looking slightly surprised at Sam's spontaneous change of mood, Gabriel's eyes danced with mirth. He had wanted to get his first real impression with the Winchester right, guessing what he could about what Sam would like. "Thought you would."

"Dean would say I was a pussy for liking stuff like this," Sam said, gazing incredulously at the remarkable view beneath him.

"I'm not your dumbass brother," Gabriel said abruptly, with a hint of superiority that was a given with the archangel. "I've been around a long time, moosey. I saw the birth of mankind, watched its wars, took place in a few of my own- I'd have gone absolutely batshit if I hadn't learned to appreciate the beauty of some things on this Earth of ours. It's one of the few things my Father got right."

"Yeah," Sam, at a loss for words. It felt like Gabriel had just shared a secret with him. It was endearing to Sam that Gabriel had this soft side, an appreciation for the Earth he had so long walked. An arousing, deep tremble worked its way down Sam's spine, tingling and making the hairs along his back stand up. _Weird. _

"So it's roughly a five or six hour trip there via air, so I suggest we strike up a conversation...or else things are gonna get real awkward in this helicopter." Gabriel seemed relatively eager to start talking with Sam- and he was.

"Um..." Sam's mind was a temporary blank. Suddenly a random question burst into his mind.

"Do you hate Dean and me?" he blurted. The question slammed the excitement off Gabriel's face and replaced with affronted shock.

"Hate you? Why- why the hell would I hate you?"

Sam gnawed on his lower lip. _Ugh. Shouldn't have asked that. _Never mind how much Sam wanted to know. "Maybe because we tried to kill you. Twice. And because we made you reveal your identity. And caused you to betray your brothers. I started the apocalypse- made you have to choose sides. It's my fault your brothers are in hell, too. Plus you got killed helping us."

The angel let go of the cyclic, his jaw hanging open. Sam didn't worry about the helicopter crashing without a pilot. He was too worried about what Gabriel was going say. Gabriel seemed to be at a loss for words. Finally, he waved his arms in a frantic, helpless outwards circle and his tawny eyes bored into Sam's.

"W- What?! _First _of all, you tried to kill me because you're hunters! It's what you do! I told you my true name because, well, I was being a little bit of a douchebag and you had me trapped in holy fire-" Sam started to look apologetic but Gabriel waved his hand again, quieting him. "Oh, don't even start, I deserved it and no matter how funny that TV Land thing was I regret kidnapping you three like that- hurting Castiel the way I did was incredibly assholish of me." The angel let a deep breath laced with regret whistle through his lips. "I turned against my dickbag brothers because they are _huge dicks _- throwing a giant temper tantrum about dear old Dad taking a vaca. The apocalypse wasn't your fault, not entirely, Sammy. You know, that was like a weekly brawl for them- before you humans came along, it was an off day. Maybe a millennia or two in hell will finally set them straight. As for getting killed- it was doing what I believed in. What was right. And there's no way I could hate you for that, Sam Winchester."

Sam turned pink, recognizing true honesty and, God help him, a little bit of affection in the angel's eyes. It was amazing, how death had changed Gabriel from an erratic, scheming jackass to a _nice, _erratic, scheming jackass. He was genuinely starting to like Gabriel, although the forging bond between them had been there from the get-go. And every time he gazed into those golden brown eyes of his Sam felt his heart shudder in his chest.

The trip from there, while a lot less profound, was still somewhat heartfelt. In that short amount of time, Sam bonded with Gabriel strongly enough that it was like riding with Dean in the Impala- if the Impala could fly and Dean wasn't his annoying big brother- rather a, while not exactly relatable, familiar and care-free angel that Sam was...comfortable with. Really comfortable with.

They had long, friendly conversations, Gabriel and Sam. Some were full of dreams- Sam mostly pressing Gabriel on what it was like in Italy or France or Australia, whether he ever met Napoleon or Gandhi or Hitler. Others involved whether he could breathe in outer space or see in the dark. Gabriel asked Sam about his weirdest cases and about random things, like his favorite music or pastimes.

Considering the circumstances and putting them aside, it was remarkably normal.

And Sam and Gabriel had loved every second of it.

They loved the normalcy, the lack of stress, pressure, or drama. Lack of pain or worry or other angels. They enormously enjoyed each other's company. Sam had continually felt alone, despite being with Dean every step of the way, for as long as he could remember. And Gabriel had been trapped with only other angels for company- total snooze fest. Both of them at been emotionally isolated for such a long time, it felt amazing to just let go, kick back a few magically appearing beers, and talk. Talk, listen, be listened to with sincere interest.

They made each other laugh, rarities in themselves, but they also strived to make the other laugh, to see their faces crinkle in amusement and listen to the deep, meaningful noises of joy that so sparingly came their way. Gabriel loved how Sam's mouth looked when he laughed, Sam loved how Gabriel's eyes seemed to shimmer.

It even got a point where the name 'Gabe' suddenly slipped past Sam's lips in a moment of rampant humor over a particularly mortifying drunk-Dean story that had Gabriel doubled over. He clamped his jaw shut immediately and flushed. He had only started calling Gabriel that in his mind, and the more he talked with the angel the more the nickname bounced around, begging to be said. Eventually it just sprang out with his laughter in the middle of Dean streaking through the motel parking lot at one in the morning.

"Uh, oops. S-Sorry." Sam's tongue suddenly felt too big for his mouth.

Gabriel leaned back, looking slightly ruffled. But it was all just a tease. Inwardly, the use of the nickname was thrilling to the angel. He'd never been close enough to someone to earn one- besides that of the Trickster or Loki, or whatever alias he had formed for himself. "Why? My little brother Castiel gets a nickname! And I even met you guys first. That's straight up angel bias. While Gabe's not the the most original or awe-inspiring nickname of all time-"

Sam raised a brown eyebrow, relieved that it hadn't made things awkward- instead, they had just leapt over another bonding obstacle. He put on an overdramatic glare. "I can come up with some more colorful ones, if you'd prefer that, _Gabriel. _"

Gabriel laughed uproariously at the mock bitchiness in the Winchester's voice. Sam couldn't keep a straight face, and they had come up with some interesting yet preposterous names to call him after that. And after hours and hours...Sam had eventually fallen asleep.

"Sam."

Gabriel's voice jarred Sam from his memories.

The memory of that feeling, that closeness with Gabriel sent a shivering, tantalizing sensation down Sam's spine, and he pressed his lips together. All of these new...feelings in his chest were driving him insane, and he didn't know how deal with them.

Could he be- _nope. _No way in hell.

Just _no. _

"Sammy?" Gabriel said, drawing his name out in impatience. The way Sam enjoyed how Gabriel said the nickname only emphasized the brief suspicions he'd had at the back of his mind. Impossible suspicions.

"Are you asleep with your eyes open or something? Although angels don't need to sleep, I find it easier to sleep with a bed and eyes closed. Unless you're trying to be creepy."

Sam blinked rapidly, shaking the thoughts away like water out of his ears. "Sorry, Gabe. Just zoned out."

"Yeah, I noticed." Gabriel smiled, relieved to have Sam back in the world of the living. Some of the expressions that had passed across the Winchester's face mid-recall had Gabriel wondering what was going on in his head- and he tried to make small talk to get Sam out of his daze.

"Sorry, it's just that I-" Sam's voice broke off, and Gabriel suddenly knew what was bugging the tall Winchester. He smiled humorlessly.

"Ah...You're curious about my honesty, aren't you? You don't believe that I'm telling the truth, that I want to help you." Sam didn't need to reply to him to confirm his guess. _Damn it, Dean, _Gabriel thought to himself. Leave it to him to plant the seed of doubt in his already stressed little brother's mind. He met eyes with Sam, whose expression, while stern, flickered with unspoken guilt. He didn't like doubting the archangel, but after so many betrayals and losses and severed trust, he could only be too careful. After everything, he couldn't let himself be taken like a sap again. And Gabriel couldn't blame him, and Sam knew he really couldn't blame himself. Yet he did.

"Sam...if there was any endgame I had in mind for you, any painful trick up my sleeve- I would have pulled it already. Or do you think I'm screwing with you because it gives me sick kicks? Not that it never did..." He sighed, his chest tightening. Sam noticed the change, watched as Gabriel's eyebrows drew down and his shoulders slumped. "It's important for you to know that- that I've had the most fun in a long time, hanging out with you on the way down here." Sam's eyebrows shot up. This was not the answer he had anticipated. The angel drew in his shoulders, feeling very vulnerable. "Being able to just- just _talk _with someone, God, how I've missed it. It's unbelievable how I could feel so shut off, after all that time spent my brothers and sisters- it drove me insane. Just day in and day out- 'emotions are pointless- emotions are for _mud monkeys.'_ Explain my goddamn loneliness, you winged bastards...!" Gabriel sighed heavily, and Sam suddenly felt the urge to lean forward and place his hands near Gabriel's on the table. They didn't touch, didn't make contact, but Gabriel could feel the warmth coming from Sam's skin anyway. It was reassuring while also...intriguing.

Despite his growing sympathy for Gabriel, one thing annoyed him. "But it's just...like what about your vessel?" Sam asked. "If you had died, wouldn't you 'wear' someone else?" He scanned Gabriel's small, tanned body, gaze landing on his slightly defined chest, and became very aware of multiple heartbeats picking up all over his body- his abdomen, his ears, his lips. And somewhere else- _Jesus Christ! _He crossed his legs under the table, trying not to be too obvious. _Oh, man, this can not be happening. Shit! Think- think of...Dean's mushroom and spinach casserole or something. Jeez, Dean's casserole? God, that was disgusting..._

"My vessel?" Gabe said numbly. _Oh. _"Ah, well, believe it or not, he's been...mine for a long while. He evidently enjoyed being it, so I- politely, no force required!- asked him to lend me him once more. He let me." Sam had noticed his vessel, eh? _That's- that's good. _

Sam nodded stiffly, feeling a raging blush spread across his cheeks. Gabriel felt himself smile somewhat confusedly at the pleasant, rosy color flooding the Winchester's cheeks. It was almost cute- hell it _was _cute. Gabriel had noticed how weird Sam was suddenly behaving, but luckily he didn't notice Sam's practically spastic leg cross. He took an absentminded slurp of his sugary, caffeinated delicacy, and held it daringly up to the Winchester.

"Try this. Your 'manly' coffee isn't nearly as delicious as mine."

Sam's nose wrinkled. _That's a lot of sugar. _"Erhm, I dunno, Gabe-"

"C'mon!" Gabe said bouncily. Sam felt the sides of his lips tipped up. Gabriel loved his little smiles that made Sam's puppy eyes twinkle. "You'll like it- plus you need the sugar rush if those golden retriever eyes of yours are gonna stay open."

Sam gave the drink a skeptical glance, but steadily drew his hand to the cool, brown cup. With a sniff that made Gabriel chuckle and mouth '_Chicken, _' he took a small sip of the whipped liquid. Gabriel smiled in satisfaction and couldn't help but notice that Sam placed his lips exactly where he had- and the thought of Sam's soft lips sharing the same place as his made him grin wildly. Sam's eyes popped wide as the wave of sugar so strong it could strike a diabetic dead in five seconds flat- was that feeling in his chest his heart giving out from overload? The tantalizing, overpowering mess of caramel and chocolate played saccharine hockey in his mouth, and he was left with a large whipped cream moustache on his upper lip. It made Gabriel smile even wider, and swallowing the fantastically sweet liquid down, Sam laughed.

"Damn. If you weren't an angel, drinking this stuff would make your heart stop," he chuckled. He licked the white foam of his lip and Gabriel took back the drink, sipping where Sam's lips were seconds before. It made his hands quiver.

"Bet you'll hate my 'manly' drink," Sam said, a cheeky grin on his face. His eyes glittered audaciously. "It's too strong for you."

And so it went on from there- like two kids talking to their crushes in the schoolyard, sharing a lollipop- knowing that every time it exchanged mouths it was like a faint butterfly kiss or soft brush on the lips. The thrill, the similar intrepid magnetism both men felt as they shared was while too subtle for outright flirting much more than average, friendly guy-friend contact. Oblivious to how their charming little game affected one another, the vision tramped itself into their minds, prancing and demanding enactment- the faintest fantasy of soft lips tasting of sugar meeting and pressing together.

Not that they would want to kiss each other, Gabriel the archangel and Sam Winchester.

Of _course _not.

** ൪ **

Dean closed his eyes. _Metatron! YOU SON OF A BITCH! _Hadn't Dean been through this amnesiac Cas bullshit before?

It might as well have been the 'Emmanuel' situation. The problem was the same- the subject was the same- the _annoyance _was the same.

Castiel was Goldie Hawn, which meant Dean was Kurt Russell.

But Dean didn't _want _to be Kurt Russell- he was a carpenter in that movie.

Although, he wouldn't mind being Kurt with an eyepatch.

"Not _again, _Cas." His relief that Cas had woken up was, while not erased, put aside for irritation. "You're Emmanuel!"

"So my name is...not Cas? It is Emmanuel?" Castiel asked, cocking his head like a incomprehensive child.

"Yes- yes it is!" Dean said loudly, backtracking before he would lose Cas completely and give himself a larger headache.

"Yes it is Cas, or yes it is Emmanuel?" Castiel blinked his stunning blue eyes. Dean nearly facepalmed himself.

"God- your name is Cas! Short for Castiel." He tried to make it as clear as possible, like he was talking to a two year old. And as far as they were concerned, he was.

"My name is Castiel, Cas for short," Castiel echoed, working the name out in his own deep voice. He nodded as if he agreed. "That...seems correct. Since you utilized my apparent nickname of Cas, I assume we are...acquainted?" The ex-angel looked as if he already knew they were, but asked anyway. He seemed to need the confirmation.

Dean blinked, and nodded as well. "Yeah, Cas, we're- we're good friends."

"Friends?" His face seemed to hold up a sign reading _No Comprende. _His dark brows furrowed in a way Dean thought was captivating, and he felt warmth upon seeing Castiel's face sink into thought. He always loved it when he made that face.

"You must tell me-" Castiel started, and paused, looking somber as something else occurred to him. "I don't know your name. Please tell me what you are called. It pains me that I do not know."

Dean swallowed. This was making his heart ache. "My name..." Dean sighed. "My name is Dean. Dean Winchester. We, uh...we've been friends for a long time."

"Dean. Dean Winchester." The ex-angel rolled the name on his tongue in a way that sent shivers down Dean's spine. "Yes...your face. Your voice. You were all I remembered before I came here."

Dean was surprised. "Wait- wait! You...remembered me? _Do _you remember me?" Dean gnawed on his lip, taking in this information.

"I remembered your face. A moment when I... when I was on a road and you came to me, spoke to me. You said the name- _my_name. But I don't remember any history we have shared or what kind of friendship we have."

Dean's stomach dropped. "Oh. But...a little is better than nothing, I guess." He only remembered Dean's face? _My mug isn't that handsome, _Dean thought dryly. What was he supposed to do with that?

"Dean..." Castiel closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them again they were bright and soulful. "Dean- you say we have been friends for a long time. I do not remember who I am to you or what you mean to me- although I have an inkling. I feel it compulsory to ask...are we the type of friends that do..." Castiel leaned close, and Dean noted that his brilliant blue eyes were dilated. Their breathing quickened almost in unison. Dean's mouth fell slack, stunned. "...this?"

_ Rice Krispies. _

Dean didn't at first understand why the name of that particular cereal brand flew into his head, but he grew to make sense of it as his emotions swept up in a hurricane.

Snap. The sound of the resolve breaking in Dean's mind and he leaned forward, suddenly ravenous for Castiel's mouth on his.

Crackle. Electricity shimmered and danced just below the surface of their lips, and they were drawn together magnetically.

Pop. The immediate elimination of the already small bubble of air between them, as they became oblivious to everything but each other.  
The soft, pink lips of Castiel met his, the slightest brush at first that melted, deeper and sweeter, into something warm and desperate. He crushed his lips against Castiel's, feeling...

_ ...Rice Krispies, _all over his body as firecrackers exploded beneath his skin. If he wasn't positive that he wasn't he would've checked to see if he was on fire. The kiss, one he had craved and dreamt about for so, so- entirely too long- dominated his mind and sent his brain into hyperdrive. Their veins pumped wildly with adrenaline as their torsos barely touched one another's. Dean found himself clutching the angel's peppered face, threading his fingers through black curls as they pressed their faces together. Cas gripped the back of Dean's head tightly, as if afraid to let go, his fingers digging and knotting themselves in Dean's short hair. If this were normal circumstances, Dean would have been embarrassed as a small moan rumbled in his throat, quivering throughout his entire body. But it wasn't normal circumstances. If Dean had his way, he would've died right there, suffocated due to lack of oxygen because he didn't dare break that kiss.

So it had to be Castiel who leaned back, gasping for breath.

"I'll take that...as a confirmation," he whispered. Color flushed in his once pale cheeks and his lips were kiss-swollen and rosy. Dean felt thousands of heart beats gallop inside his chest like a dance, and he swallowed deeply. Dean's hands fell from Cas's head and gripped the hospital bed handrail. Cas let his arms drift back, starting from Dean's neck and tracing down his arms, eventually coming to rest in his lap.

"J-Jesus Christ, Cas," he breathed. He wanted to say _'that was awesome!', _but that's not what he _should _say. He panted and ran his hand down his chin. "Cas...Castiel-" As much as it killed him, he was going to tell him the truth. "We...aren't friends like that. As much...as much as I wish we were."

Cas's innocent blue eyes glistened in an emotion completely new- one of shock and hurt. "But...we must be. It's what we want- I know what feelings I have, and based on your reaction you feel similarly. Why would we not kindle the relationship that we both yearn for?"

_ Ah, Cas. Always the romantic. _"You're- you're confused. You got all your human emotions mixed up. You can't- can't feel what I do. That's why. You- you used to be an angel! There's no way you could be...there's no way you could have the hots for me!"

Cas shook his head. "I will admit that I'm unclear on many things, unfamiliar with many emotions, but the one thing that I'm positive of is the lust I have for you. It is a feeling I know I have had before and feel now. As for the having the 'hots' for you- that would make sense, as that would explain how my skin feels set ablaze."

Dean's mouth gaped, opening and closing as he fumbled for words. It couldn't be true- Cas couldn't reciprocate the feelings he had. He just couldn't. Angels didn't have emotions like that and even if they could Cas never made any hint that he was interested in Dean. And Dean was good at catching things after being such a ladies man, catching all those subtle hints and gestures.

_ But Castiel is- _was _an angel. Not sure they would have the same ways of expressing connection as humans would. _

Dean wouldn't dare let himself hope. But to just shove away what Cas had just admitted to him was impossible.

"As for myself being...an angel? Is that a reference to...my being possibly abstinent, or saintly in innocence? Maybe before I was averted to the idea of passion of the flesh, although I cannot see why. It seems...ridiculous. What we just did was very, very...good. But must be why our relationship stayed non-physical- it's the only explanation probable." Cas rubbed the mystified Dean's hand slowly. "I'm sorry if my... moronic aversion ever hurt you, Dean."

A burst of almost hysterical laughter erupted from Dean's lips and he stared at Castiel's hand, cheeks burning. "N-Nope. You were an actual angel. Like, with wings and powers; a true servant of the Lord. But I'm pretty sure you never lost your v card."

"My...what?" Castiel shook his head. "Never mind. How- how could I be an ethereal being? I'm clearly human- I evidently experience emotions. Right now I'm confused, lost, tired, my head hurts and my legs are numb, and I'm sexually aroused."

Dean spluttered. "Uh- uh- well- that's because um..." He couldn't think. His mind was stuck, like an engine that wouldn't turn over. He tried to get control of himself. "There was this other angel- his name was Metatron- he was- he was being a _dick. _He tricked you into casting all the angels to Earth and stole your heavenly grace. That's why you're human." Dean gulped down air.

Castiel lifted a brow, and his mouth opened just slightly in surprise. Dean would have laughed at his expression if he wasn't so flustered.

"Every angel of Heaven is on Earth? Because of me?" Castiel's eyes lost focus and drifted to his feet. He lifted his sheets and drew his knees up to his chest with a wince, looking all the more like a lost kid. He wrapped his arms around his legs and laid a head on a knee. "That explains all the guilt I feel. Why I was angry and sad last night when the beings- when the angels fell."

"Cas," Dean said, unable to not notice how the fabric of the hospital gown tightened around the ex-angel's muscular form. "That wasn't last night. It was two weeks ago."

"Oh." The worry on Cas's face grew worse. "I see. I've been...unconscious in this hospital?"

"Yes. And Cas- what happened to the angels wasn't your fault. It may be you that did it, with good intentions- but it was Metatron who tricked you- tricked _us. _You weren't the only one whose pants he pulled down."

"I'm not wearing any pants."

Dean sighed and chuckled. "I noticed. Man, Cas...it's good to have you back." He found himself smiling at the dark haired man in the bed. Cas didn't smile back, but that's because he was fighting it. He shouldn't get to smile, not with all this guilt. He felt like he didn't deserve it.

An inexplicable urge to make Cas smile forced Dean's hand to lift up, and he laid a hand on Castiel's arm.

"Hey, man. It's gonna be fine. We gotta plan- everything's gonna go back to normal, we'll get your angel mojo back, and get Heaven and Hell closed up. Then Earth will be safe and we'll be safe." He rubbed his thumb on Castiel's arm, for once letting affection show plainly on his face. Cas gazed at Dean, looking starstruck.

"And we'll acknowledge our feelings for one another?" Castiel asked hopefully, so bright-eyed and naive that it made Dean feel like he was crumpling on the inside.

Dean found himself floundering again, and he bit the inside of his cheek. "I- I hope so." Castiel's other hand came down on Dean's, cupping it gently. "...I hope so."

That 'here's hoping' pony was gonna kill him one day. It was gonna kick him in the ass and tromp over his beaten body. On Dean's gravestone, it's gonna say 'Here Lies Dean Winchester. Brother, friend. Died letting himself hope just once'.

Or maybe it might just work out.

Just once.

Castiel suddenly froze, and Dean jerked hearing the sound of wings through the breeze. He expected to see Gabriel and Sam standing there, with smug grins on their stupid faces, but it was someone he had never seen before.

The woman crossed her arms, a cavalier expression on her tight face. "Now isn't that sweet...Baby Castiel and a brother Winchester. So cute I might die. But I'm not the one dying here today, brother. _You _are."

The angel smiled menacingly, baring shiny white teeth.

"Shit," Dean growled.

_ And hope just gave me the middle finger._


	6. Beg and Plead

_**Chapter Five**_

Beg and Plead 

The angel was a short, portly older woman with puffy blonde hair and a god-awful pink flowered shirt that said "I Heart Gardening" and khakis with white tennis shoes. She might have looked like a sweet Southern grandma if it weren't for the fact that the angel inside of her twisted her features in an aloof sort of malice. Her hands were gripped angrily at her sides, and she took a threatening step towards Castiel and Dean. Dean felt a little mystified that a grandma could be so threatening, but his hand slid into his pocket stealthily. He reached for the gun in his pocket- not that it would do any good- but the angel threw her hand to the side. With a cry, Dean flew through the air, crashing against all the medical equipment and eventually hitting the hospital wall with a slam. He groaned, eyes shut in pain, but he wrenched them open.

Cas! Cas was human- _vulnerable. _Dean tried to throw himself at the angel, do anything to distract her from her intent of harming Castiel, but he was pinned with the force the angel was exerting.

Castiel was completely stunned. The angel walked smoothly over to the wide-eyed ex-angel in the bed, whose whole body tensed. He had watched Dean be telepathically pushed away by the angel like he was nothing with horror etched on his face, and he was about to leap out of the bed to Dean's defense- when the angel lunged out and grabbed him by the throat. He gasped, his air supply cut off, and he tried fruitlessly to pry himself from the angel's iron grip.

"Cas!" Dean roared.

"Little Castiel...Human. Powerless. _Pathetic. _Serves you right from affiliating with these filthy mud monkeys. Don't you realize what you've done?" The angel curled her lips in a snarl. "You ripped us away from our home. Deprived us of the one thing that our Father provided for us." Castiel's eyes were so wide they looked like they would pop, and the angel's green eyes blazed with murderous anger. "Because of you, we are forced here- to live in squalor with these _humans. _And it is all at your fault. How many times can you betray your own kind, Castiel? It's only just that I take revenge for myself and our brothers and sisters- by taking your worthless life and throwing your grace into the darkest hole in perdition." She tightened her grip on Castiel's throat, and his mouth gaped soundlessly, desperate for oxygen.

"Wait! Wait!" Dean nearly yelped, his voice shrill. "If- if you kill him, you'll destroy your only chance of getting Heaven back!" His eyes widened in horror, staring at Castiel with the worst kind of fear. Castiel glanced meaningfully at Dean, reddened cobalt eyes welling with pain.

The angel casted a disgusted glance in Dean's direction, but she did relax her grip slightly on Cas's neck. He gasped uncontrollably, choking down air. _Keep her talking, _Dean's mind pressed. If he could just stall until Sam and Gabriel got back-

"The- the only way to break the spell Metatron cast is with Cas. Because he's the one Metatron took the grace from." That last bit was a complete guess on Dean's part, but it was enough to keep the angel's attention- and little did he know, he was right.

The angel's expression flickered with brief doubt- which was Dean's intent. She snarled, baring teeth past lipstick-covered lips. "How do I know you're not lying?"

"You don't," Dean groaned, still fighting the force keeping him paralyzed on the wall. "But could you really take that chance? Could you really destroy the only person that could get your home back?"

The angel's nostrils flared. "What are you suggesting? That I let him _go? _If there is _any _truth to your words, we're not going to leave Castiel in your idiotic care, Winchester. Demons would be after him in no seconds flat and pretty soon an angel would come along that wouldn't listen to you and kill Castiel instantly."

Dean shook his head. "But- But we're the only ones that know what to do- how to break the spell. And I sure as hell won't tell _you _or any of your dick family if Castiel gets hurt. So I suggest you let him go. _Right. Now." _

The woman narrowed her eyes, the green orbs becoming slits. Castiel looked at her purposefully, even though he didn't have a clue what was going on, and said, "Listen to him. He's telling the truth."

"Even if he is, I certainly don't need him. Not that Winchester. No." The angel smiled heartlessly at Dean. "If Dean here knows, then his brother Sam certainly does. And let's face it. What with Sammy's _condition-" _Dean's teeth gritted in fury, his nostrils flaring.

"-he's much more complacent. And valuable, what with all that Trial magic running through his veins- he's a decent bargaining chip in case there's a demon situation."

"You leave Sammy alone, you winged bastard!" Dean shouted, infuriated.

"That means I don't need you, sweetcakes," the angel said, her eyes flickering in hate. She clenched her outstretched hand, long pink nails curling together. Dean cried out in pain as he felt a rippling, crushing agony in his ribs, as if he was getting run over by a truck over and over again. His breathing hitched, and Castiel watched in absolute horror.

"Don't, please!" Castiel pleaded, his voice deeper and raw with the angel's spare hand around his throat. "Dean!" He was fully prepared to beg for the life of the Winchester.

"Cas-" Dean croaked. He couldn't be dying, not after _finally _kissing that winged bastard. He couldn't leave him like that, defenseless in the hands of malignant angels who'd kick him around like a soccer ball. Couldn't leave Sammy to fight them alone. _Please, don't let me die, _he prayed, begged whoever was supposed to be listening.

_ You idiot! _his mind suddenly gasped in epiphany. He began to pray fiercely to the angel who thirty minutes ago he had thought long dead. With all the oxygen he had, he screamed,

_ "Gabriel!" _

**൫ **

Gabriel started, his mouth falling slack. The sensation of thoughts shooting through his brain that weren't his was at first shocking. He hadn't been prayed to in such a long time, it was unfamiliar. The assault of desperate prayers in his mind made his hands grip the coffee table chair tightly.

"Gabe?" Sam asked concernedly, noting the sudden look of worry in the archangel's eyes. Gabriel inhaled sharply.

_ Gabriel! _the Dean in his head screamed in despair, and he lurched forward, snatching Sam's hand and teleported to the hospital room. Their mouths dropped in shock and horror upon viewing the scene- Dean pinned to wall, crying out in pain, and Castiel gripped by the throat, gasping for air.

"Dean!" Sam yelled. He was defenseless- all his weapons were in the back of the Impala.

Gabriel's eyes lit with fury at seeing the angel with her fingers wrapped around his little brother's neck. "Oh, no you don't, bitch." He raised a hand, and she flew backwards into the opposite wall. Dean fell to the ground, gasping for breath, and Castiel did the same, crumpling on his bed, clutching his neck. Once he got air back into his lungs, he scrambled out of the bed and fell next to Sam and Dean. Sam helped his brother to his feet, and stepped protectively in front of Cas and Dean- although in the long run there was nothing he could really do to protect them. Castiel slung Dean's arm over his shoulder, and Dean did the same with his. They met eyes and backed up to the wall.

Gabriel, meanwhile, was standing over the angel with fire dancing in his eyes. He slid his archangel sword out from his sleeve, and the polished steel blade glistened faintly. "You thought you could just mess with my little brother and get away with it? I'm an _archangel, _you moron! And which moron are you, anyway?" Gabriel gazed for a second at the angel on the ground. "Ah...Rachel. A young one. Explains your _idiocy." _He laughed bitterly. "Isn't Cassie here the one that killed you? Looks like I'm not the only one who got their job back." Castiel's eyes widened and Sam and Dean looked at the angel on the ground with new eyes, memories firing through their heads.

"Rachel?" Dean wheezed. "What, from two years ago? Cas's...lieutenant or something?"

"You're the fool, siding with humans!" Rachel hissed, getting to her feet. "With the angel that murdered me- who evicted us from our_home! _He's the only one who can get it back for us."

"I know," Gabriel said, rolling his eyes. He gave her an _obviously _look. _"I'm _the one that told 'em Cas could do it. And you know, you really need to learn how to speak to your superiors. I'm far older than anyone you've ever met, sister." He raised a hand, but with inhuman speed, she moved faster than he anticipated. She shot out a finger and Gabriel's legs flew out from under him. He crashed onto the tiled hospital floor. She leapt over the hospital bed with Gabriel delayed by seconds, and went straight at Castiel. Sam stepped in front of his friend and brother, hands spread wide.

"No way," Sam warned, jaw set. His body tensed defensively, and his expression was as hard as steel. "You're not touching them."

"Sam-" Dean started, fear choking his words. Rachel jerked forward, reaching taking Sam's head with both hands before he could react. She squeezed, hard enough to make him scream. His knees buckled and he fell to the ground in front of her, at her mercy.

_"Sammy!" _Dean roared. But Castiel kept him from throwing himself at Rachel- Dean was hardly strong enough to stand on two legs- and he couldn't let both Winchesters endanger themselves.

"SAM!" Gabriel roared, a blur of movement. He was about to throw himself, angel killing sword raised, at Rachel but she shook her head.

"Tut, tut, Gabriel. If you even lift a finger I will snap his weak human neck." Gabriel froze. She looked dotingly at the Winchester on the ground. She stroke his face slightly, and he tried to jerk away with a grimace. But she was too strong. "Shame to waste such a pretty face." She seemed to say that for Gabe's benefit. "You've grown soft, Gabriel. Normally a mortal's life would mean nothing to you. You Winchesters." The angel shook her head again. "Corrupting our greatest. First Castiel, then Gabriel got himself killed for you- and you got rid of Michael and Lucifer. It's remarkable that I'm not worshipping the ground you step on, what with the rate you're going."

"It's a gift," Dean snarled, eyes glued to Sam, who was still on his knees. His brown eyes, glistening with pain, darted between his brother and Gabriel, whose fists were clenched with his face torn between horror and rage.

"If you don't drop Sam in five seconds...I will send your broken body straight to the eternal pit for hellhound kibble."

"What a threat. I'd rather just take Sammy here and our ex brother to the others. Yes, others. There are many out there who'd like to kill Castiel for what he did- getting Heaven back's even better. And of course, the Winchesters are no small prize- Sam here, what with all those demon trials done...He's our ticket to getting rid of the demon maggots forever."

"Five," Gabriel growled, with fingers splayed.

She smirked, and squeezed Sam's head a little tighter. He couldn't keep in a yelp of pain. Dean jerked, but Castiel kept a strong hold on him. Gabriel's honey brown eyes blazed. On the inside, he felt the pain as if it were his own. But everything Rachel did to his human he would deal on her sevenfold. And darkly enjoy it.

"Four." His thumb folded into his palm.

"Gabriel," Dean said warningly, as the angel simply slid her hands down Sam's face to his neck, gripping his warm, strained neck roughly. Sam squeezed his eyes shut, lips pressed together to keep himself from making noises of pain- he wouldn't give Rachel the satisfaction. "Sammy...It's gonna be fine, you're gonna be okay..." Dean's voice was a breath. Sam gave him a poorly reassuring glance. Dean looked desperately around for anything to save his brother, but there was nothing he could do. It was angel vs. angel territory here.

But then he found something as his hand slid into his jacket pocket. There he kept a small flask full of holy oil- just in case. And luck would have it it was settled right next to his box of matches. Gabriel paused, doubt flashing across his eyes. He couldn't risk Sam's life the way he did everyone else's. Not Sam. But Dean nodded infinitesimally, and he caught the gesture. Rachel didn't notice, her vicious glare completely fixed on Gabriel.

"Tres." Gabriel's voice was a wrathful rumble, despite switching to Spanish, and it sent chills down Dean and Castiel's spines. Cas separated silently from Dean, holding a finger to his lips. Bending down, he lifted a chair from behind them and lifted it over his head, ever so slowly to not draw attention to himself. Dean steeled himself.

"Dos." Gabriel, in spite of raging concern and anger, couldn't help but feel proud of his little brother. Even human he still had a fiery desire to protect the innocent.

Rachel clicked her tongue in pity. "I must have been wrong about you. You don't care about this human at all, do you?" Dean drew his hand out of his pocket, a matchbox and the flash in hand.

"That's where you're wrong, you self righteous bitch," Gabriel said, smiling grimly. With only two fingers left up in an ironic peace sign, he dropped it to just one.

"Uno."

Castiel slammed the chair down on Rachel and Dean ripped out a match. The chair smacked Rachel right in the face, and in surprise by being assaulted by human Castiel- with _furniture, _no less- she dropped Sam. Gabriel flitted over to him, scooping him up by the arms and drawing the gasping Winchester behind him protectively. Rachel spluttered, and sent Cas flying.

_"Cas!" _Dean jerked his arm and sent the holy oil flying all over Rachel. Gabriel, recoiling from the oil, took initiative when Dean struggled to light the match .He snapped his fingers. The holy oil was set alight, and Rachel shrieked as the flames erupted across her entire body, climbing and burning relentlessly. There was the smell of burning flesh and the light of the fire danced across all the watching faces.

"Angel BBQ," Gabriel whispered, not quite sorrowfully and not quite appreciatively.

Rachel flailed helplessly, her screams piercing the ear, and disappeared with the echoing sound of wings. A burnt, blackened feather was all that remained after the room fell silent. It floated to the ground without the whisper of a noise, and it was only when it touched the ground that everyone was yanked out of paralysis.

"Cas!" Dean sprinted over to where Cas was lying dazedly on the ground.

"My head is aching much more than before," he said with glassy eyes.

"Yeah, I bet flying around the room was great for your concussion." He helped Castiel to his feet, but he turned pink and started to laugh.

"Dude, I so forgot you were wearing a hospital gown. I can see your entire ass."

"Is that...a problem?"

Dean laughed harder.

൫

"Dean...I think I may need...some assistance." Castiel's deep voice floated through the steamy air to Dean, who was sitting on the hotel bed in thought. Tilting his head, Dean got to his feet.

"Uh." Dean hesitated at the bathroom door with the realization that Cas could be...indecent and not exactly _acknowledge_his...straight up nakedness. _He wouldn't be in his birthday suit. He's not a moron, _Dean thought, waving steam out of his face. The shower got remarkably hot considering what a crap motel it was. The bathroom door was cracked open only slightly, and light poured through. "With...what?" As little as Dean would've minded seeing an indisposed Cas, he felt he should be...polite. _But he _is _a child in a man's body, _Dean reminded himself.

"This shaving tool is being very uncooperative." Cas's voice was irritated and slightly embarrassed. Dean laughed, and opened the bathroom door with a foot. Typical Cas, being annoyed by a razor. Hot, thick steam flew into his face, and he felt sweat break out on his forehead not entirely from the heat.

Castiel was standing in front of a mirror, razor held awkwardly in hand near his chin with a blue towel wrapped haphazardly around his waist. Thankfully it covered everything- Dean might not have been able to take a naked Cas. Seeing him glistening wet and bare chested was enough to send his heart hammering.

Cas's hand was lifted to his face in another shaving attempt, but Dean grabbed his wrist quickly upon seeing the several bleeding cuts he had already made on his face. A tear of blood dripped onto the wet ivory sink, spreading like a rose.

"You're doing it wrong," Dean muttered, voice quieting as their proximity made him quiver. A flush spread on his cheeks, and he took the razor and washed off the blood. Cas looked unaware of the effect he was having on the Winchester and gave him an annoyed look.

"Yes. Shaving wounds bleed much more than I anticipated."

"Well, as an angel your wounds would heal like _that," _Dean said, snapping his dripping fingers for emphasis. Castiel grew thoughtful at that, expression growing puzzled as his dark eyebrows knitted together. Water dripped off black strands of his thick hair and he shook his head wildly, spritzing water all over Dean like a dog.

"Aw- _hey, _man, not cool!" Dean held up an arm and stepped back. His hair was now even crazier in that sexy, messy way and Dean swallowed, watching a drop of water slide down Castiel's cheek and down the smooth planes of his back, swooping between his shoulderblades, down his spine, and eventually hitting the towel just above his bottom.

"Sorry." The ex-angel didn't look like he knew what he was supposed to be sorry for. "You don't like being wet?"

"Not when I'm fully dressed, no," Dean retorted, grabbing a spare towel and rubbing it all over his face. Then, pausing, he drew his hand up to Cas and dabbed lightly at the cuts he had naively made. Castiel didn't wince, but his breathing inhaled sharply. He met Dean's hazel eyes intensely.

"You could...not be fully dressed."

Castiel was very, very bad at subtlety.

He vaguely remembered that this was called 'flirting'.

Despite the complete flirting fail, Dean felt his cheeks blaze. "Ah, ah, Cas...um. We need to talk about that." Dean jerked his head around, just in case Sam or Gabriel were nearby. _God, _that would be embarrassing.

Castiel realized his flirting hadn't worked, and he gnawed on his lip. "Later," he said eventually, tone clipped, and he picked up the cleaned razor from the sink and held it out to Dean. "Shave me."

Dean laughed, his chuckle a pinch hysteric with nervousness. _Oh, man, this is so weird. _Dean Winchester was always the flirter, not the _flirtee. _Sure, there was an occasional forward chick who wanted to get into his pants- but never an ex-angel dude who he really,_really _wanted to get naked with. But for once, he couldn't. Not when Cas was all mixed up with human emotions- he would feel way too guilty if he let it go that far. _I may be a horny bastard, but Dean Winchester does _NOT _take advantage of people! _

Especially not Cas.

God, not him.

Dean sighed, took the razor tentatively, and walked out of the bathroom. Castiel watched him as he stomped over to the motel desk, snatched the chair under it and dragged it over to the bathroom. Then he grabbed Cas's bare shoulder and shoved him down into it with a plop. Cas was completely compliant, and looked almost fascinated as Dean stooped down, his eyes narrowed in precision like a barber at his trade. Dean drank in Castiel's features as he studiously began to shave the peppered gristle from Castiel's cheeks, carefully working around the cuts. Castiel couldn't look away from those beautiful hazel orbs, hardly noticing the razor that scraped his face. All he could do was stare as Dean made Cas's face smooth again, without any troubles or accidental cuts. When he would tap his chin with a free finger, Cas would tilt his neck accordingly, allowing him complete access to his face and neck. He never looked doubtful- his trust in the hunter was absolutely unwavering, and that made Dean feel like his heart was ten pounds lighter than it usually was.

Soon, Cas's face was as clean and smooth as silk- which Dean couldn't help but stroke after his work was finished. Castiel let a tiny smile form on his lips.

"Dean." Castiel looked up at him earnestly. "I'd like very much to kiss you right now." With shaggy, damp hair that fell all over the place, and cobalt eyes dilated and glistening with longing, he had never looked so handsome to Dean. And Castiel could barely restrain himself from wrapping his hands around the Winchester's face and crushing those broad lips to his. So he asked permission, internally begging for him to say yes. Maybe even with an expletive- _hell _yes.

Dean jerked back into reality with a start. God, how he wished he could- he wanted to feel those lips against his so badly it was like his heart was being beaten with a meat mincer. Castiel, unable to resist, found his neck craning forwards and mouth slightly parted, trembling for Dean's touch. Dean looked pained, and Castiel cupped his rough chin compassionately.

"You still think what I feel for you is not real," Castiel whispered, feeling Dean's pain like his own. Dean's cheek was warm under his hand, and he never wanted to make Dean smile so much before. "That it's a result of human emotions too scrambled. I am indeed flushed with these...feelings. Feelings of lust, of desire. And while other emotions- such as irritation, exhaustion, even being cold are unfamiliar, this one I know is right. I couldn't mistake this urge, this _thirst _for you. It's too strong, Dean. I'm not confused. I'm _hungry. _Desperate. For you."

Never had Dean Winchester been struck speechless so many times in such a short time.

"I believe you when you say I was once an angel- it explains much of the emptiness, the loss of memories. But you must believe me when I say this...I _want _you." He leaned close to the shocked Dean, coming past his lips and heading straight for his ear. His breath tickled Dean's ear, sending the hairs on his neck straight up. His hazel eyes were glued to Castiel. His voice was so low and deep it was almost sensual. Dean's awareness was focused on nothing else but Cas, and he clutched Cas's towel and kept it up- if it would drop he would lose it. "I was once an angel. Now I am human- complete with a human mind- and the _impure thoughts _I'm having about you now surprise even me."

Dean's heart nearly exploded right there on that bathroom floor.

He lurched forward onto Cas violently, unable to restrain himself for a second longer. Cas collapsed under Dean's weight, and they fell onto the carpeted floor in the living room. Castiel gasped as Dean straddled him tightly over his towel- the only thing keeping him from being called straight naked. Blood pumped wildly through his lower abdomen and he gazed at the hunter above him with awe. Dean pinned Castiel's wrists to the floor, and Cas let him, eyes wide and breath fluttering out of the lips that absolutely _ached _for Dean's. Dean leaned downwards slowly, his whole entire body pressing on Castiel's bare, smooth chest, and unquenchable heat flushed through both of their bodies. Electricity crackled beneath their skin, connecting them like magnets. Dean's eyes raked hungrily down the Castiel's stunning, angelic face. He could feel Castiel's breathing pick up, feel his chest move quicker with each breath beneath him. Dean got close enough that their noses brushed one another's, and he could smell the light perfume of Castiel's soap-

"Hey, Dean! I'm back-_ oh. _Oh. Oh, shit. Oops."


	7. Worry

**_ Chapter Six_**

Worry 

Sam flailed, clapping his hands over his eyes, mouth gaping in a huge, mortified _O. _

"Oh, oh, God, guys- _shit! _I'm- I'm _so _sorry. I'll-" He reached blindly behind him, and wrenched the door open and slid outside. Then he slammed the door shut again.

Dean felt his throat clog and his face burn with the worst embarrassment in the _history _of embarrassment. He'd, unfortunately, been cockblocked by his brother before, but with- with a _dude?! _With _Castiel...?! _

There was a pregnant pause and Dean rolled off Castiel, who was lying there with a devastated expression on his handsome face. What could have happened was now even farther from his reach- Cas could see that on Dean's face, clear as day. And it killed him. He had wanted it- _still _wanted it- so unconditionally, and to have it taken away like that was heartwrenching.

Dean stared at the wall, panting. His back was to Cas, who leaned up and adjusted his towel.

"I...should get some clothes," he whispered, his deep voice defeated. Dean closed his eyes, grinding his teeth. _God_damn _it, Sam. _He cursed himself as well. He had been this close to screwing Castiel right there on the hotel floor. Like he was no more than a half intoxicated girl he picked up in a bar. How low could he sink? Self disgust grew in his stomach.

"Yeah." Dean didn't look at him- couldn't bring himself to.

"Dean?" Castiel asked, reaching for the clothes they had retrieved from the hospital. He hugged the trenchcoat to his chest.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for shaving me. I feel better." But on the inside, the dirty thoughts mucked up his new feeling of clean. "And..."

"Yeah?" Dean said, his voice almost a whisper now.

"If Sam hadn't interrupted us we would have fornicated on the floor." Dean winced at his choice of words but Cas continued, unfazed. "And I wanted to. Very much. So next time- if we get that close..." His voice faltered temporarily. "If we don't do it- I think I'm going to snap in two. And I'm fully prepared to hit Sam with a shoe or another suitable object very hard to make sure we're not interrupted again." Castiel, taking his clothes, stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.

Dean started laughing quietly. Powerful laughs- they pricked his eyes with tears. His whole body shook with chuckles- but soon the humor died and he was just trembling, covering his face with his hands as tears threatened to spill down.

He wiped his eyes. _Don't be a pussy. _He sighed, then stared at the wall for what could have been minutes, hours, days. He just couldn't think- all that flitted through his head were images. Cas, Cas, Cas. Nothing else. His head was going to explode. He zoned out completely, hazel eyes completely unfocused, sound draining from the room. His wild heartbeat slowed and he tried to regain some fragile peace for himself. Just him and a fantasy or two.

Ones that might just come true.

He was so out of it that he was even more startled when Gabriel burst in, with uncharacteristic horror etched on his face and a unconscious Sam in his arms.

൬

_ Five Minutes Earlier _

Sam stumbled out the door, free hand still clamped over his eyes. He shut it with a reverberating slam, turning bright pink.

"What up, moosey?" Gabriel asked curiously. They had just returned from Metatron's hiding place to retrieve the papers for the spell. He carried them in his arms haphazardly, and he cocked his head at the tall Winchester.

"I- I-" Sam stuttered. _Should I tell him? No, it's his little brother in there! _Gabriel would smite Dean in seconds.

_Aw, hell, it's my older brother in there! _

"I-" Sam gulped. "I think I just walked in on Dean and Cas...uh, about to...uh..."

Gabriel raised his eyebrows. "About to...?" His tawny eyes narrowed.

"...have sex?" Sam said slowly, slightly shrill. He slumped against the door, still as red as a tomato. "Oh my God. They were about to have _sex. _" Sam's eyes opened and he blinked, mortified.

"Holy shit." Gabriel looked like he'd been shot, he was so stunned. "You're...kidding. You're kidding me, right? This is a joke?"

Sam's forehead wrinkled as he shut his eyes again. "Not even close. Oh man, I think I have to scrub my eyeballs. Awwwwhhhhhhh," He groaned as that completely unwelcomed image flaunted in his mind.

Gabriel started laughing. Big, boisterous laughter than made him lean on his knees, crushing the papers to his chest. Sam's eyes widened as Gabriel turned pink then red as mirth radiated down his body. "Oh- oh, this is just too _sweet." _

"What?" Sam gasped. "C'mon, man, what the hell? I'm freaking out! I mean, gross?! My big brother and my ex-angel friend- your_little brother!" _

"I know- that's why it's so funny!"

"What?!"

"Oh my God, Sammy, don't be dense- they've had the hots for each other since the beginning! Don't tell me you didn't notice!"

"Of course I did!" he barked. "But- but- Castiel's, well, _Cas, _and Dean's like definition of straight! They always do that _I'm-screwing-you-with-my-eyes _thing, but they never acted on it. Not once. But now that Castiel's human, I guess they would- but I just didn't expect them to do it so fast. And I sure as hell didn't want to walk in on 'em _doing it! _God, that image is burned into my mind!"

Gabe laughed even harder, nearly falling over. "Oh, oh man, it hurts." He wiped tears from his eyes. "No offense to Dean or anything- but my lil bro's finally gettin' some! Lord knows he's wanted to- he wouldn't have hung around you Winchesters- wouldn't have died for you, came back, and stuck around for so long if he didn't have feelings for Dean-o."

"Gotta agree with you there," Sam said. Gabriel snapped his fingers, noting his tiredness, and two padded wicker chairs appeared in front of the motel room's shaded windows. He held out a hand in a _sit down _gesture and Sam sighed gratefully. He sat down with a plop, making the chair seem tiny with his gigantic size. He stretched out his legs and laid his head down on the chair neck, letting air gust from his lips. Gabriel smiled down at him, sliding his eyes from Sam's shaggy head all the way down to his toes. "I think- I think I may have broken it up though, before they...you know. You know."

"Oh." Gabriel sat down with a creak into the white chair, resting his head on a crooked elbow. "I don't really know what to say about that except...'Okay'." He set Metatron's papers down beneath his chair and weighed them down with a glass prism he waved into existence, Then he poured a Pixy-stick into his mouth. It dissolved in his mouth quickly, and a rush of strawberry sugar gushed through the angel's veins. Half the time, Gabriel was unsure whether it was his vessel or himself having these constant cravings for sugar. The other half of the time he just didn't care.

"Me neither." Sam blinked lazily and his voice was reposed.

Gabriel's heart fluttered as he looked at the younger Winchester, and Sam lost focus, staring at the endless blue sky. It was turning out to be a nice, sunny day, what with the rain passing. Sunlight streamed onto them, warming their skin and casting yellow light on their bodies. It felt nice. His arms hung loosely over the wicker chair and light danced in bright colors behind his half-opened eyes. His eyelashes seemed to glow a light blond and his forehead finally relaxed, eyebrows smoothing across his blue of the atmosphere was starting to deepen as the afternoon drug on, the robin's egg turning a cooler, indigo shade. The sun was still high in the sky, and there wasn't a single cloud.

Gabriel felt the urge to speak with Sam, now they were alone again. But he didn't know quite what to say. It felt enough to sit and watch the hunter, calm and serene, gazing into the sky with the faintest hint of a smile on his face. Despite everything that was going on, Sam still felt at ease, and that made Gabriel feel as though he'd accomplished something- won something precious that shouldn't be thrown away.

Sam closed his eyes and inhaled the free air deeply. But then that moment was over. He turned to Gabriel with troubles lurking in his dark glimmering eyes- eyes that reflected the sun's golden rays vibrantly. Sam observed Gabriel in the sunlight, just as Gabe had him- his already warm tawny eyes were shining brilliantly, seeming like liquid toffee, and his hair was lighter and small, layered strands glistened blond like in his own. His small smile seemed pinker and his jawline stronger. Sam swallowed.

"What are we going to do, Gabriel?" he asked quietly. He felt lost, as he so often did when they were trapped with nowhere to go and enemies at all sides. Which was much too often as it was. "Angels will be after Cas. And he's human- he's defenseless against them."

_They'll be after you too, kiddo, _Gabe thought worriedly. "Didn't you run from angels? You Winchesters were Desirables No. 1 and 2 back when I died- Zachariah sent angel bloodhounds all over America searching for you. And Castiel isn't defenseless. He's got us. There's no way I'd let anything happen to him- and judging by the way you protected him in the hospital and how Dean is probably loving on him inside- I doubt you Winchesters will either."

Sam nodded. "Yeah. I guess."

Gabe suddenly lunged and punched the relaxed Sam in the arm. He recoiled, and clutched it to his chest with a yelp. "OW! What the hell was that for?!"

Gabriel's nostrils flared. "You were _stupid _in that hospital. Brave, obviously, ridiculously brave and willing to lay down your life for Dean and Cas- but, Sam...you _complete dumbass! _If Rachel had killed-" Gabriel's words stumbled, but they returned to a growl. "If Dean and Cas hadn't been quick thinkers because I wasn't fast enough, she would have _killed _you- or worse, she would have taken you to my idiotic brothers and sisters and they would have used you for a football- then traded you to a _freakin' _demon- who would have dragged you back to Hell or torn you limb from limb. You weren't strong enough to go against her, but you were such a self-sacrificial, selfless jackass it didn't occur to you, did it? If you put me in that position again, recklessly risk your life like that, I'll kill you _myself." _

Sam gaped, then gulped down the stone in his throat. "B- But it was _Dean. _Dean, and Cas. Not that I wouldn't for anybody, but you three- I'd give my life for yours in a heartbeat." Gabriel blinked. Sam had inadvertently- _or had he?- _added him to the list of the two people in the world he would die for- the only people in the world he truly cared about. Did the Winchester truly hold him in as high esteem as Castiel and Dean?

But Sam powered on, despite how Gabriel goggled at him. "If it comes to point where I'd have to choose, I'd always choose you three. No ifs, ands, or buts. But I'll try to keep 'reckless' life risking to a minimum. Okay?" Sam looked at him with a fierce strength that his body didn't appear to have. But his inner strength, Sam's strength of soul, could never be doubted. It had been through hell and back- no pun intended. But Sam smiled, and blushed upon seeing the awe on Gabriel's face.

"What?" he asked.

"Samsquatch, you surprise me more and more with every hour. You are without a doubt the most interesting, most unique human I've ever had the honor to meet."

"'Interesting?' The honor to meet? Gabe, I think you have me mixed up with someone else- someone who isn't a hunter who triggered the apocalypse and walked around without a soul, and isn't currently weaker than a fourteen year old World of Warcraft nerd who can't lift a twenty pound barbell."

"Sam Winchester, you are anything but weak." Sam tilted his head in surprise at the wonder suddenly storming in the archangel's eyes. Gabriel gave a small breathy laugh. "A normal human in your position, with your life, would have gone insane or drank himself to death- and all of that _before _you started dying and stopping the end of the world, fighting angels and demons, or going to hell-"

"Okay, okay, I get your point," he said quietly. "...thanks. I can see sometimes, how Dean and Cas look at me different than before. How I'm not just their brother or their friend, but like a dying relative. Like I'm sick in bed with cancer, like I'm too pathetic to go hunting or help them. But I can. I may not be in the best of shape...but I won't let them go against all this alone. Despite how Dean tries...God knows he does."

"They only do it because they care, Sam. Because the idea of losing you is too painful to accept. You always beat the odds, Gigantor. But one day...it'll just be Dean alone- at the rate you're going-" Gabriel suddenly choked up, and Sam's eyes glittered with heartache. He didn't realize how much his health affected Gabriel. Dean would always worry about him, because that's what he did. Cas was too stoic to let any of his worry show through. But Gabriel? The archangel hardly knew him.

"It won't come to that," he said soothingly. "I'll always beat the odds. I'm Sam Winchester, remember?" He laughed softly. "It's the only thing I can count on, besides Dean and the few friends I have left."

"Yeah, but I'm one powerful friend, aren't I, Sammy?" Gabriel chuckled, shrugging off the emotion. _Don't be a wuss, _he chided himself.

"Yeah, Gabe. It's...it's even more meaningful- even more important to us- to me that you volunteered to help us. The enemies just keep piling up and our friends kept...dying. But with you back? We might stand a fighting chance." Sam looked at Gabriel intensely, and he started turning barely pink.

The archangel got to his feet. "I think it's safe to go inside now- although it may not feel or...smell the same in there. Grab those papers, will you?" He succumbed to an urge to pat Sam on his scruffy head as he walked by, but Sam snatched his wrist and pressed the angel's palm to his forehead.

"Sam?" he asked quietly, eyes wide.

"Gabriel...I know how I'm...unhealable. Cas said it was beyond his power to heal me. But...could you try? Try...even if you only get rid of my migraine it'll be worth it. Could you, Gabe? Please?" His voice was so pleading Gabriel felt his heart would snap in two.

_Could I? _Gabriel thought doubtfully. _Would it do any good? _"Oh, Samsquatch. I could never say no to those puppy eyes." Gabriel inhaled quickly, and he summoned all the healing energy he could and sent it from his grace, through his hand, and down onto Sam's blazing head. He closed his eyes as they began to glow with a white heavenly force, and Sam fell limp in the chair as the feeling of cool, soft relief flooded into his mind like a wave. It was almost arousing, the thrilling yet calming breath of Gabriel's grace, and it nearly made him sob taking his hand away. He wanted to feel that way forever, wrapped in cool, wonderful ecstasy as Gabriel swept the sickening, agonizing heat from his mind.

"Sammy?" he heard Gabriel whisper. The angel stooped to his height in the chair, where Sam breathed rapid and deep, savoring every ounce of free air that came without the constant pain weighing in his head, without the flush of a sweat breaking out on his forehead. Gabriel's voice grew more concerned. "Sam?"

"Oh...thank you," Sam whispered. His eyes slowly closed. "Thank you, Gabriel."

Then he passed out, blessedly cool darkness falling over him.

"Sammy?" Gabriel cried. "Sam?!"_ Oh, what in the name of Heaven have I done? _Sam's head fell against the back of the wicker chair and his legs and back drooped. Without a second thought, he lifted the unconscious Winchester, who was as large rag doll in his arms, and burst inside the hotel room with the speed of a desperate archangel.

He flitted to the bed and laid the hunter quickly but gently onto the bed. Dean turned with a start, and his breath caught in shock. "Sammy?!" His eyes glued to his unconscious brother in horror. Then he looked at Gabriel, furious and terrified. He scrambled to his feet, eyes glistening and mouth falling open. "Gabriel! What did you _do?! _What did you do to my little brother?!" He raced to his brother's side, leaning across the bed and placing his hand on Sam's forehead.

Gabriel stared at Sam, gasping. "I- I-"

Castiel burst out of the bathroom, with only his dress pants and white shirt on, barely buttoned. "What's happening? Dean?" He took in the sight of the distraught older Winchester and archangel with stunned eyes.

Dean ignored him and pressed his ear to his brother's chest. To his overwhelming relief, a weak and rapid heartbeat thumped in Sam's chest. "Oh, thank God, he's alive." Then he whirled on Gabriel, lurching over and grabbing Gabriel by the collar. "Fix him, you bastard! Whatever you did- make him better!"

"I-" Gabriel's voice broke. "He asked me to heal him- I didn't think it would work, but Sam just wanted me to fix his headache. He seemed fine but then- then- he just _passed out." _

Dean's eyes grew even larger. "So- so you can't fix him? Dammit- WHAT DO WE DO? Gabriel, _tell me what to do!" _Despair made his voice a scream. Cas came closer, grasping Sam's clammy hand and feeling his temperature.

"His temperature is very high," Castiel said quickly. "We need to get him cooled down- now."

In an instant, the bed became a large bathtub chock full of ice water three feet deep. Gabriel reached for Sam's head but Dean slapped his hands away with a quick growl. He cradled his younger brother's shaggy head, feeling the astonishing heat flow through his hair.

"He's boiling," Dean whispered. Gabriel scooped some water in his hand and let it run over Sam's forehead. Castiel checked his pulse in the water.

"It's not working fast enough. His temperature and pulse is still much too high. Gabriel, make it colder. I know you can." His voice was gruff as he tried to remain calm and stable minded.

"Colder than ice? What, then?" Dean asked, without looking away from Sam. His brother's breathing was shallow and rapid, and he floated gently under the ice, otherwise silent. Not a drop of sweat had broken out on his forehead, and Dean knew that meant Sam was even worse.

"Colder than ice? I think- I think I know," Gabriel whispered. He lurched forward and grabbed Sam by his soaked shirt, and and suddenly they weren't in the motel room anymore.

They were in the sky. Really, _really _high, miles off the ground. There was endless blue around them, not a cloud in sight. The sun glistened off the wet Winchester's skin and clothes and ferocious wind rippled around them. Gabriel was still air, invisible wings keeping his steady, and he gripped the Winchester as tight as he could, curling his arms under the hunter's large shoulders. The air was freezing and crisp- but not cold enough to kill him. He made it safe to breathe, infusing oxygen into the air, and he held Sam's head gently, lifting it to his level. Sam's arms and legs dangled into empty space.

"Sam? C'mon, Sam, talk to me. _Please," _Gabriel begged. The Winchester's face remained smooth and blank.

"Sammy...Sam, I know I said if you risked your life again I'd kill you myself but goddamn it, I didn't want to take you up on that offer!" He pressed his head close, almost touching Sam's neck, and his voice fell low. "Sam, I never, ever wanted to hurt you. Hell, the idea makes me sick. More than sick. It's killing me. I'm so sorry, Gigantor." His voice nearly broke. "I was a fool- should've guessed what an angel's grace would do with demon trials- I was so stupid-" He couldn't resist and Gabe buried himself in the hunter's warm neck, eyes pricking. "And it's all my fault. But Sam...Don't you die. I mean it. Don't you die." He leaned back and started shouting, tone desperate, thick with kept-back tears, and angry- he was so angry at himself he thought he would fall to pieces. "Wake up, goddamn it! _Wake up!" _

There was no response but the wind, whipping crazily around his ears. "No, no, no." Heart snapping in two, he brushed Sam's hair from his face and looking at the handsome, empty face. The wind suddenly died, as if the tears of an angel demanded absolute stillness. Soon there was no sound at all except for Sam's fading breathing.

"I'm sorry," Gabriel choked. "I'm so sorry, Sam. I should've known- the second I start loving someone they get taken away from me."

Sam's heart suddenly jolted in his chest, like a kick-start to a car engine. Gabriel's acute sense of hearing caught it, and he felt his stomach drop.

"Sam?" He leaned close to the Winchester's face.

The hunter's lips parted as he inhaled deeply, and a strong tremble rippled through him. His eyebrows twitched and he tilted his head. A small, throaty groan came from his mouth and his eyelashes fluttered.

"G-Gabriel?" he slurred, voice exhausted.

_ Thank you, Father, _Gabriel's mind gasped. "Sam! SAM!" The bewildered Sam froze as the archangel suddenly pressed his lips to Sam's wind-blown head, eyes closing as the most powerful relief he had ever felt raged through him. "I thought you were gone."

"Gone? Wha-" The Winchester, blushing madly as Gabriel's lips left his forehead, suddenly jerked fiercely as he realized exactly where he was- or more or less, where he wasn't.

"Gabe!" he shrieked, voice shrill, suddenly clinging to the archangel. "Oh- _oh my God- _what are we doing up here?! Put me on solid ground, pleasepleasepleaseOh_ God." _Below him, the ground looked like a kid's Lego set. Sam's vision swimmed and he felt like he was suffocating in this sea of endless blue.

Gabriel bursted out laughing, warm and relieved laughter that seemed to echo the joy he now felt in himself. _Sam's okay. Now I'm okay. _"I thought Dean was the one scared of flying, not you!"

Sam's eyes bulged to the size of quarters, terror screaming in his brown orbs as he wrapped his long legs around Gabriel's torso desperately, like a monkey. He hugged Gabriel furiously, scrambling for a better grip. Gabriel gave him a reassuring squeeze.

"It's alright, goofball, I'm flying. You are completely safe."

_"Goddamnit, _Gabriel! Put me on the fucking ground, for the love of God- please just-"

"Okay, Sammy, okay," Gabriel chuckled, eyes sparkling with mirth. Sam's grip loosened slightly in relief, and in an instant he found himself in the motel parking lot, away from the cool wind and on firm gray ground. His legs wobbled as his legs dropped from Gabriel's hips, out of both lingering fear and dizziness. He blushed, embarrassed that he had a Dean-sized panic attack and had wrapped around Gabe like a little kid.

"You alright, Samsquatch?" Gabe asked concernedly, tawny eyes tightening as he gripped the tall hunter's still-damp shoulder. Sam nodded, and their motel door burst open, and Dean and Castiel charged out.

"Sam!" Dean screamed, so many emotions in his voice it sounded strangled. He threw himself around his younger brother, nearly taking him off his feet. As it was, Sam stumbled, but he hugged his shorter but older brother back tightly.

"Oh, God, Sammy. Don't do that again, you bitch." His face crinkled as he clutched at Sam's damp shoulders.

"Cool it, jerk. I'm okay, Dean." He met his brother's hazel eyes, which glistened with brotherly concern. "Really." Dean nodded, and he suddenly whirled, a blur of motion, and he clocked Gabriel in the face as hard as he possibly could.

He roared as his hand instantly began to swell from punching that iron jaw, and he cradled the hand to his chest. Sam and Castiel lurched forward, both grabbing him by the arms before he could tackle Gabriel. Gabe stumbled back a step, silently holding a hand to his face with an expression not as pain-filled as Dean would've liked. He pursed his lips, but otherwise Gabriel showed no emotion.

"Dean!" Sam yelled in shock. "What the hell?"

Castiel moved in front of the struggling Dean, and held his gaze with his own blue eyes in an attempt to shield him from his source of rage. "Dean. Calm down."

Dean ignored the stern Cas in front of him, snapping his attention to the silent Gabriel. "Calm down? _Calm down?! _That son of a bitch almost _killed _my brother! I'm gonna rip him in _two!" _

"It wasn't his fault," Cas said, steady and calm. With a free hand, he cupped a soft hand around Dean's face. Dean turned bright pink at the exposed show of emotion, and his muscles locked up. Dean straightened, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Sam took it as a chance for him to walk over to Gabriel, eyeing Castiel's gesture with a _huh _look on his face. Dean grasped Castiel's white shirted arm, needing the support. He needed an anchor to keep from murdering that angel dick, and Cas was the best anchor ever. Castiel gave him a kind nod, and Dean pressed his lips together tightly.

"Okay." He sent a nonverbal _thanks _to Castiel, who gave him a tiny smile. But then he saw Sam coming closer to Gabriel and nearly lost it again. "Sam, get the fuck away from him! I mean it! And you-" he pointed viciously at Gabriel. Cas gave Dean a _be-careful _nudge and Dean gulped down a breath, "-come near my brother again, and I will break your face!"

Despite the obvious guilt and reservation on Gabriel's face, he couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at 'break your face'. "You're right. It...it was my fault. I shouldn't have-" Gabriel shook his head, and Dean felt his anger ooze away upon seeing the normally arrogant archangel look so devastated. "It was a stupid mistake. I shouldn't- shouldn't have had tried to heal him."

Sam's heart broke upon seeing that look upon Gabe's face, and suddenly he stepped forward, clapping a large hand on the shorter angel's shoulder. Gabriel lifted a regretful head to the Winchester, and was surprised to see a smile on the hunter's face and compassion in his eyes.

"Gabriel. It's okay." Sam's tone was amazingly easy-going and forgiving.

"The hell it is-" Dean spat vehemently, grip on Cas tightening. Cas couldn't help but roll his eyes. Dean needed to listen to his little brother, even he knew that.

Sam shot his brother a dirty look. "Dean. _Shut. Up." _Dean clenched his teeth, and Cas took his arm from Dean and slid it around Dean's waist reassuringly. But to Dean, it made a shiver travel up his spine and he took a calm breath, steadying himself. He gripped Cas's arm, keeping it pinned to his waist, and for once Cas turned pink.

"Gabe," Sam said, turning back to the angel. "It's not your fault. There's no way you could've known-" Gabriel opened his mouth but Sam ignored him. "-what could have happened. Nobody could have. But, guys..._ look _at me."

For a moment everybody paused and look at Sam. _Really _looked at him. And the difference had been staring at them in the face.

Sam was standing straighter, his shoulders horizontal instead of slouched. His breathing was deeper and fuller, and his skin was back to its normal, slightly tan color. His eyes were bright and excited, full of youthful vigor that should've been in there from the start, and a calm smile was broad across his face. The lines on his face were barely visible, if not completely gone, and the dark circles had vanished from beneath his alert and shining eyes. It seemed even his hair was thicker, shinier.

Gabriel was stunned- he had always noticed how- well, to be honest, he _always _noticed how very handsome the Winchester was, but never had he seen Sam like this, practically glowing with health. His heart danced in his chest and exciting shivers erupted down his spine.

Awe was on Cas and Dean's faces as well. It was almost a miracle, seeing Sam so healthy again. Dean gaped at his younger brother, hazel eyes glimmering with disbelief. "Sam...you look..._ healthy." _He looked at Gabriel completely differently- instead of the person who recklessly risked his brother's life and more like an angel who brought his brother from the cusp of death. "Gabriel...you did it. You actually_healed him." _

"I _feel _healthy," Sam said. "Like I could run a mile, right now, and not feel winded at all." He gave a small bounce in his boots. "In fact, I kind of want to. I feel so much better. Invigorated, you know?"

Cas, having less connection with Sam because his memories were still a blank, saw past the happiness of the moment and replied dryly, "And all it took was a heatstroke and miniature coma that nearly stopped your heart." His tone was a rare thing for the ex-angel- thick sarcasm.

The warmth of the moment was sapped away and Dean closed his eyes, yet again disheartened. Even he knew that the effects wouldn't last forever- that the healing was only temporary. And the risk was too much to ever attempt to heal him again.

Sam frowned. "Don't go _too _heavy on the sarcasm, Cas," he said quietly, slightly defensive. He stopped bouncing in his heels and sighed. He turned to Gabe, who looked crestfallen.

"The risk is too much to try it again," he agreed. Disappointment was evident in his eyes, but there was also resolve. No amount of convincing, not even puppy eyes turned on full magnitude would shift his decision. "Sorry, moosey."

"But-" Sam started, but he shook his head. He knew they were right, but to have..._ health, _to have normality so close to his grasp was more frustrating than he could put into words.

"No," Dean interjected. "_ Hell _no. I'm not gonna have you risk your life like that again. It's not worth it." He was gonna beat Sam with those words until he got them through his shaggy head.

_ It might be, _Sam's mind whispered. But he nodded, if not purely for Dean's benefit. "Right."

Suddenly without anything to say, all four of them hung around the parking lot somewhat awkwardly. Gabriel found himself struggling from bursting out "SO YOU HAD SEX WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER, EH?" because he was itching to see Dean's face when it was finally brought up, but he had the feeling he might get punched again, and that Castiel would it happen. Eventually Dean turned away, and taking Cas by the arm, he walked back into the hotel room. Sam followed him, with a questioning glance at Gabe, and followed after his brother and Castiel. Gabriel stayed behind, eyes glued to the sky as thoughts passed through his mind.

_ So much shit to deal with, _he thought tiredly.

First there was his brother, the pressing problem of his memory loss to deal with. Now that he was conscious, he could try to recover his memories. But after what just happened with Sam, he doubted Dean would let Gabriel touch him- never mind that Cas was _Gabriel's_brother, not Dean's.

He felt an ache, a hole in his chest and he realized with a cold pang what it was.

For the first time in his long, long existence, Gabriel found himself briefly without his confidence.

For millennia, whether he had everything or nothing at all, he could always depend on his almost pompous self-confidence to get him through anything. Be it his family, the apocalypse, or hell, sex, but after what had just happened with Sam...it wavered. The horror that he could hurt the Winchester the way he did was like taking a hammer to his wall of confidence and swinging as hard as one possibly could. There were painful cracks and they kept spreading the more and more he thought about what could have happened.

And this seed of self-doubt drove him to other trains of thought pertaining to Sam Winchester.

These being of a much more passionate flavor.

Never had Gabriel wanted a human _so much. _

Wanted in every way possible- emotionally and physically- holy hell, the physical marvel that was Sam Winchester nearly brought the archangel to his knees. It took his breath away at the thought of the healthy hunter, full of energy and life, eyes unburdened by exhaustion. Being around as long as he had, Gabriel would be lying if he said he hadn't been in bed with a man- he was no stranger to either genders. The pleasure of sex wasn't a mystery to him, much unlike that of his younger brother.

But he knew that, first of all, Sam was straight. Very straight- he had seen that himself from Heaven, with that girlfriend of his before this trial mess, and _all _those women when he had been soulless. Why would he have any interest in Gabriel's vessel?

Secondly, while they may have become fast friends, why would Sam have interest in an _angel? _An archangel at that, someone who he'd only known as a comrade for a day and before that, a sort of enemy. After the Mystery Spot and TV Land, is was a miracle in itself Sam hadn't tried to wring his neck yet. Rather, he had been treated with an astonishing openminded friendliness he found a rarity in humans, let alone a hunter who'd been through so much in his life.

Just one out of hundreds of reasons Gabriel found Sam so attractive was his persistent compassion. His ability to care, past all bullshit and physical and mental strain. It awed the angel. He was so sensitive- in tune to people and considerate. Being a hunter had hardened him a few ways, that was true. He knew there was a wall around Sam's heart of gold to keep it defended after heartbreak after heartbreak- but despite that, he still allowed it to _show. _Still allowed his heart to feel.

He was so beautifully, devastatingly human.

Gabriel knew how hard it was to care. After so many centuries, there were some moments where all he was was numb. Numb, cold, uncaring. He did things he would forever regret. He knew deep down, he feared this new relationship with the hunter. Because he didn't want to become numb like that again- and opening his heart to the Winchester might kill him in ways that a blade never could.

But God he craved him so.

"Life is bullshit," he whispered to himself, wind whistling gently through his long hair. The indigo sky seemed to add weight to his shoulders and the sun arched behind the smallest wisp of a cloud, casting a grey, swirling shadow on his face.

He heard footsteps behind him. Gabriel didn't turn- he knew it was Sam. That woodsy, deep smell he carried with him was a unique bouquet that Gabriel could recognize everywhere. The heavy footsteps paused and he could hear Sam's breathing rise ever so slightly.

"Samsquatch," he greeted quietly. His eyes were glued on that one cloud blocking the sun. He tried to think of silver lining, like that in the cloud. But none surfaced. His brothers and sisters were coming at him from all sides, coming to take the only people on this Earth that he cared about. What good could come from that? What _possible _outcome that didn't end with his heart shattered and blood and broken bodies of those he held dear?

"Gabriel," Sam replied slowly, his voice gruff. He seemed slightly reserved, holding something back. Even as depressed as he was, Gabe couldn't ignore that.

Still keeping his gaze fixed on the cloud, which crawled slower than a snail, he asked, "What's up, buttercup?"

He heard a low chuckle, and it seemed to break the tension in the Winchester. Gabe didn't need to see his expression to know that it had relaxed. But the pit in Gabriel's stomach didn't feel any smaller, the weight wasn't lighter. He felt like he was sinking into a hole, a deep dark hole that led to nowhere but loss. But he sank willingly, because at the bottom of that hole was Cas and Sam. The only way to avoid it was to leave- run before they destroyed him. But the idea of fleeing to keep his heart safe was so repugnant to him that his face wrinkled. He couldn't do that. He could never do that.

"I am not a coward," he whispered aloud.

"What?" Sam asked, confused.

Gabriel sighed. "Nothing. Just...thinkin' aloud." He shoved his hands in his pockets and Sam shuffled his feet awkwardly.

"Well...I have to agree with your thoughts. You, Gabe, are anything but cowardly. Hell, any normal person, let alone a coward, would've turned tail and ran for the hills by now. But you haven't. You're still here. I can't thank you enough for that."

"It's nothing you wouldn't do. Nothing Dean or Castiel wouldn't do. You three...you deserve so much more than this. More than this life. I wish I could give you the freedom you have earned, wish I could take all this bullshit away from you. But I'm not strong enough. After what just happened...I don't think I'm strong enough to protect any of you from what's coming."

"Don't be stupid," Sam snapped, the sudden vehemence in his words stunning Gabriel. "You're the strongest person I know. Where is that asshole confidence of yours?" Sam's voice softened and he came closer to Gabriel's back. Gabe could feel Sam's breath on his neck and the warmth of his body radiate towards him. "You said it yourself that we could watch out for ourselves- never mind with you in the picture. I can understand if you don't want to go up against your family. I know how much that would hurt. So if you want out...just ask."

"No, Sammy," Gabriel said quickly, his voice a breath. He shook his head. "I could never abandon you. Not now."

There was the briefest of pauses.

"That's more than I could ever ask for."

Sam's hands were suddenly on his shoulders, spinning him around until he faced that tall, handsome Winchester and he barely had time to blink in surprise before Sam crushed his mouth to his.


	8. Want

**_ Chapter Seven_**

Want 

As soon as Sam left the motel room to go speak with Gabriel, Dean locked the door. The last thing he needed was Sam or Gabriel walking in- and thanks to the angel sigils on the wall, Gabriel couldn't pop in when he jolly well liked either.

It was time to speak with Castiel.

Dean was dreading the conversation. But he couldn't go on like this, pushing the lust away over and over. Sooner or later it was going to overpower him, and he couldn't take advantage of Cas like that. He deserved so much more than that. He had to tell it to Cas straight. He glanced at the ex-angel, eyebrows furrowing in seriousness.

Cas's body was finally _visible _to Dean, now he had only one layer on- not that it wasn't before, but under those tax accountant layers of clothes his well-defined vessel's body had been hidden. Sure, there were moments when his pants tightened when he sat down and when his trenchcoat made him look badass, but now...the crisp white shirt hugged his muscular body comfortably, and without the layers he was actually quite lean.

And his pants, well..._ I can finally see his ass. And sweet Jesus does he has a nice one. _Surprisingly firm...

_ Okay, I have to look creepy staring at him like this. _

Castiel, however, was oblivious to Dean's observation of him and was buttoning his crisp white shirt, which had been loose and open the whole time. It actually hurt Dean to watch him do it, watch him cover up that smooth and well-defined chest that Dean rarely had the opportunity to see. His hand began to tremble; he wanted to run his hand down that chest, feel Cas's warm skin and collarbone beneath his fingers-

_Stop. _

Castiel was turning Dean gayer than Bert and Ernie.

But it wasn't his fault. Nor was it the vessel he inhabited. Dean had never been attracted to a _person _as much as he was to Castiel. Not just physically- and damn, he was so intrigued by Castiel it nearly drove him crazy- but emotionally. Because he knew that Castiel's physical form was just a vessel, not truly his. But his true self couldn't be hidden from Dean even if Cas tried.

That kind, sweet ex-angel was the most pure being Dean had ever met.

Not just in innocence, which Dean found himself oddly enchanted by, but of the heart. Usually Dean had a thing for more fiery types- not that Cas couldn't kick some ass if he had to- but there was something about the almost incomprehensibly kind ex-angel that drew Dean's attention like a magnet. That thoughtful benevolence that made him rebel against his family, turn away from everything he knew not only because it was right, but because he wanted to protect Sam and Dean. That was something the older Winchester could never forget- that selfless bravery. And past all his flaws and past mistakes- which were growing by the week- there was the same Castiel, only doing what he did because he believe it was right.

His courage made Dean feel two feet tall sometimes. Other times, Castiel would look at with him respect and camaraderie that made him feel like Dean could take on the world. And they had, together.

_Damn. And here I thought Sam was a chick. _

Dean walked brusquely past Castiel, who stood awkward and erect next to the motel room desk. The Winchester plopped down on the left bed with a gust of tired air gushing through his lips.

"Cas," he started, but to his surprise Cas's nostrils flared, and his lips pressed together in annoyance. He was the spitting image of an irritated child.

"I'm tired of waiting," Castiel said suddenly, his rich voice brisk. Dean looked up at him, hazel eyes confused.

"What?"

"I said I am tired of waiting," he repeated. Castiel crossed his arms, a unexpectedly angry expression working onto his handsome face. "Dean...why should you get to be the one who decides whether or not we fornicate?"

Dean raised his eyebrows. _"What?" _

_ Goddamnit- This isn't exactly what I wanted to talk about... _

Castiel crossed his arms, his black eyebrows scrunching together as his anger became frustration. "Do you not take into account how much _I _want it? I can understand your reservation, and I know now might not be the most choice time, but I...don't care. I don't care about everything else occurring, about angels or demons or my memory. All I know is that I feels like I am...dying. Whenever I'm near you- whenever we get close- all I want to do is...I assume you can guess." Cas's cheeks turned pink as nervousness set in. "I'm_obsessed _with thoughts of you. I can't stop thinking about what I want- which is incontestably you. And, whatever your own preferences may be, mine happens to be yourself unclothed." Dean looked at Castiel incredulously, air whistling through his open mouth.

Even saying it, Castiel dragged his eyes down Dean's sitting form, captivated by his muscular body and enrapturing face. An ever present curiosity to see Dean without any clothes on made him stare, his striking blue eyes fixed on the Winchester. Despite how much he wanted to fall onto the bed with Dean, Castiel hung back, shyness building higher and higher inside him. Most of all, he didn't want to make Dean uncomfortable- but he couldn't help the _want. _Above everything else, it raged in his mind.

He just_ wanted_ him.

His heartbeat sped up in his chest, sending lightning throughout his veins. He felt an odd rising feeling in his lower abdomen. Yet the beginnings of the rejection began to grow in Castiel's suspicion.

_ He doesn't want me this way, _he realized, blood turning cold.

_ Dean does not want me. _

It was like he had been hit by a truck. The phenomenal heartbreak nearly made his eyes prick with tears. But he knew Dean would be even more distant if he cried- even with no memories of Dean, it was too evident. The hunter was too strong for tears. He inhaled sharply, feeling his throat close up with hurt.

Dean fumbled for words and his lungs felt like they were shriveling in his chest. "Cas...It's not fair to you. You are mixed up-"

"Will you please stop saying that?" he cried, anguish thick in his baritone voice. "I may be confused...but I am NOT a child, Dean. I'm fully capable of making my own decisions with full mental stability. It's you who's all 'mixed up', not _me." _Dean's mouth dropped and Castiel squeezed his eyes shut. Despite the pain of rejection, he had to tell the Winchester how he felt. Or else it would boil inside him forever, slowly eating him up until there was nothing left of him but this agonizing desire.

"Because I _want _you, Dean Winchester. Every second that's passed by I've- I've _craved _you, like oxygen, like air. And there's nothing you can say that will erase the feelings I have for you. I realize now for you it is not that same." Castiel began to tremble all over, and a single tear oozed out a glistening eye. He didn't bother to wipe it away- he hardly noticed it was there. His voice, so deep and so pained, made Dean feel like he was cracking in two. "Is it- is it because I was once an angel?" His baritone voice caught, emotion making it break. Dean flinched like it was a blow. "Or because I'm now human? I-I wish to know what is wrong with me-"

"Stop," Dean whispered. He got to his feet and nearly tripped over his own boots coming closer to Cas. "Please, Cas. Don't say that. God, none of it's true." Pain rippled across the Winchester's face, and he lifted a finger and wiped away the crystalline tear from Castiel's face. Cas's lips trembled, both from hurt and the fact that Dean was close enough all he had to do was lean forward and...

"Then why-" Cas asked brokenly, his voice so deep it was nearly inaudible. "Why don't you-"

Dean placed both of his hands on Castiel's cool but shaking shoulders. "Because when you remember...when you get your memories back...I don't want you to regret- well, regret _me. _Regret being with me." Dean sounded dejected. "I-I couldn't _handle _it if we finally were together-after all this time- and after it all you would just 'wake up'. Realize- realize that I was only human and that it wasn't what you had wanted-" Dean realized how cowardly he sounded but his heart couldn't take the risk- not after everything...

Castiel shook his head, his hands falling downwards. "You forget, Dean, that I am now human."

"Not forever-"

"Let me finish," Cas whispered. Dean fell silent, and hazel eyes met cobalt blue. Longing was so heavy in both of their glances it was impossible to miss. "I am now human- but that's of no _relevance. _It doesn't matter. I will want you no matter what or who I am- human or angel...because you are the only thing I think I have _ever _wanted. And I would never regret anything I shared with you."

_ Fuck it. _

Dean lifted a dark brow, arousal dancing in his olive green eyes. "You shouldn't have said that, Cas."

Castiel blinked in confusion. "Why?"

"Because now I don't have a reason to hold back anymore." Suddenly, he pushed Castiel backwards until he hit the wall, crashing his back against the green wallpapered wall with a _thump. _

As if someone rang a bell in his head, realization dawned on Castiel- but not before Dean slowly slid his hands from his shoulders down to his shirt buttons. He could feel Dean's warm fingers through the thin white shirt, and they traced fireworks under his skin. Dean kept Castiel's gaze, eyes screaming with lust, and he popped a button right off with the simple flick of his powerful wrists. The V of skin Castiel's shirt revealed grew larger; Dean allowed himself the indulgence of a simple finger tracing over the fine skin. Goosebumps erupted all over Castiel's body, making the Winchester smile.

"I...am very glad you locked the door," Cas whispered, mouth going dry. Sweat broke out on his forehead.

"Me too," Dean said roughly. He leaned closer, and this time Cas took the initiative. He tilted his mouth forward, the heartbeat in his lips so fierce it was painful, and he pressed his lips to Dean's- putting all of the passion he possibly could into one sultry, knock-your-fucking-socks-off kiss. Dean practically jerked with the sudden eruption of desire that rioted inside of his chest, and with one uncontrollable yank popped all the buttons of Castiel's shirt, sending them flying all over the room.

_He's sure as hell good at kissing for a virgin, _Dean thought, smiling against Cas's lips. Castiel bent forward, snaking his arms up Dean's shirt and running his hands up his warm, sculpted chest, across his ribs and abdomen. Dean felt an almost animal moan rumble up from his chest as he was driven almost wild with the taste of the ex-angel. Without breaking that powerful kiss, he ripped the rest of Castiel's shirt off. Cas shivered in pleasure as his eyes closed.

Dean leaned back for a moment as he beheld the sight of Castiel's bare chest reverently, placing his hands on the other's warm, firm chest. He could feel Castiel's crazy heartbeat thrumming like a hummingbird's just beneath his panting chest. Smiling wickedly, he led his lips back to Castiel's from the nape of his neck up as Castiel's back arched against the wall.

_ More, _his mind screamed, desperate for more Cas, desperate for all of him.

He was starving for him.

He carefully but insistently slid his tongue into Castiel's barely parted mouth. To his delight, the ex-angel responded in kind, opening his mouth wider and sliding his own across Dean's teeth and under Dean's cool upper lip.

Cas felt a hurricane of new arousal sweep through his body as these unfamiliar but stimulating actions caused sweat to bead on his temples and chest. They both trembled as they explored each other, gripping one another like the walls were collapsing around them.

But if they had been, they wouldn't have noticed.

To them, nothing had ever felt so right, felt so wonderful. They just let their bodies move the way they _wanted _to.

Dean bit Castiel's lip slightly, hard but not enough to pierce his soft lips, and Castiel made an excited groan in the back of his throat. He pressed his fingers into Dean's back, harder as the Winchester traced the roof of his mouth with his tongue. Every exchange between them sent their pulses wild- sent waves of fresh arousal through them that felt so, so good...

Dean gasped for breath against Cas, hands sliding up to his neck and through Castiel's soft, mussed hair. Their chests were completely pressed together now, hips beginning to grind and legs twisted with each other's, creating mind-numbing friction. Castiel barely had the air to breathe, "Dean...did I mention how much I want to see you unclothed?"

Dean laughed as his head tilted his head higher, trailing his tongue up the other's ear and giving it a playful nip. "I think you did." Castiel felt the hardening in his pants become even more pressing, and he quickly slid his hands out from beneath Dean's shirt and made to tug it off. Treating each second preciously, Dean didn't waste any time throwing off his shirt and tossing it to the side.

Castiel marveled openly at the tanned, captivating sight of the hunter shirtless, and the two stumbled from the wall to the bed, landing haphazardly on top of each other. The bed creaked under their weight, but they were too busy raking their hands down each other's naked torsos to notice. The world was _theirs _now.

Cas's eyes widened upon seeing the raised brand on Dean's shoulder. Lifting a quivering hand, he pressed his palm to the mark and found it was a perfect match. A sudden invisible crackle of electricity traveled through them, making the hairs on the back of their necks stand up. He looked at Dean questioningly. _Did I do this? _Dean smiled, answering the question written all over the ex-angel's face and giving a small nod. Not for the first time today, Castiel wished his memories would come back to him.

Dean noticed Castiel's sadness and caressed Castiel's bare chest softly to bring him back, feeling his need grow stronger and stronger. Cas kissed Dean's neck tenderly, feeling his thoughts fade to nothing but instinctive passion.

Dean pulled Castiel on top of him with a sexy growl. He dragged his fingers down the planes of Castiel's back as Cas cupped his face, kissing his jawline, his hunger for Dean's skin insatiable. Dean arched his neck backwards with a wild grin, giving him more skin to work with. He trailed down the Winchester's neck, landing in the cusp of his throat and sucking delicately on his broad collarbone. Castiel gasped wildly as Dean dug his nails into the soft skin of his back, leaving red marks down his spine. Dean worked his way down to grip his ass tightly.

"I've never gotten to tell you, Cas," Dean whispered, pulling Cas in for another deep kiss. "I _love _your ass." His tongue brushed Cas's bottom lip and Castiel let his fingers barely tickle, teasingly soft, downwards from Dean's tattoo, past his hardened nipple and belly button through the grooves of muscles until he reached Dean's jean button. His instincts begged him to tug the pants off, but it was his lack of experience that made him pause. Dean's erection grew even more powerful in his pants as Cas's hands rested tentatively on the bulge.

_Oh, shit, _Dean thought. They didn't- he didn't- Honestly, it hadn't even occurred to the Winchester- the perpetual womanizer- that he would one day need..._lubrication. _

_ Shit. _

"Cas," Dean said quietly. The ex-angel paused, looking at the Winchester with bluer-than-blue eyes fevered with passion.

"Yes, Dean?" he said, his deep voice so goddamn sexy Dean nearly ripped his own pants off for him.

"Cas...I-" How the hell was he going to explain to him that he didn't have any lube? He was a complete virgin and blatantly ignorant of any items of the sexual nature. "I don't have any- We can't-"

"I understand," Cas said, leaning close to Dean. Even though he didn't, he noticed Dean's embarrassment and tried to be considerate. Cas could wait. He could wait for a thousand years.

All that mattered was what they were doing right now.

He smiled softly at the Winchester, planting a butterfly kiss on his nose. The hunter was going to be pantsless one way or another, if was the last thing Cas did. "But that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be nude."

Dean laughed, all mortification fading as he kissed a scratch on Castiel's face. "Touché." He grabbed Cas forcefully by the hips, slipping his hands beneath the other's pants. His hands slid over Castiel's boxers, and he felt the muscles in that firm ass tighten in anticipation. "I'll get right on that, angel."

** ൭ **

The only thought running through Sam's mind as he crushed his mouth to Gabriel's was-

'_Screw _my sexuality.'

And it was just as fulfilling as Sam had expected it to be, if not more. Gabriel's lips were soft and cool and when they finally met it was like the world has frozen around them. Sam's hands grasped Gabriel's grizzled face and the archangel found himself gripping Sam's arms so tightly he couldn't have backed up if he wanted to.

And he definitely did not.

Pure, unadulterated _fire _erupted in their hearts, sending their pulses skyhigh and desire for each other absolutely rampant. It was a wonder the air didn't combust around them as Gabriel moved his hands up to Sam's neck, clutching him closer.

He gasped in thrill. This was like nothing he'd ever felt before- a thousands times more passionate that with any woman or man he had met or created. This was true, this was _real. _

Sam was _intoxicating. _

"Sam," he breathed against the hunter's lips. Shivers erupted down their spines as Gabriel said the name. He gazed into those sensitive brown eyes that now flamed with dark desire.

"Shut up, Gabe," he growled, his voice deepening. Gabriel was pleasantly stunned as Sam opened his mouth against his, darting in his tongue and sliding it past his teeth. There was a sudden rumbling and a earth rattling crack as the asphalt broke apart beneath their feet with the sheer force of Gabriel's aroused grace.

Sam's eyes flickered down to the ruptured ground with awe, then gazed back into those smoldering honey-brown eyes. "Wow."

"What can I say, Sammy?" the archangel asked with a provocative smile. "You turn me on more than a nerd at a Comic-con." Sam laughed, wrapping his long arms around Gabe's waist. Inwardly, hearing the angel say that was the most reassuring thing possible. It had one of the most reckless things Sam had ever done- throwing himself at the angel without a second thought to the consequences. And if Gabriel hadn't rekindled the feelings Sam had- it would have broken him into little pieces.

Gabriel pressed his lips against the Winchester, but not without a little help. His feet lifted off the ground a foot, heels floating soundlessly up, so he could finally meet eye to eye with the hunter. The archangel brushed Sam's long hair out of those goddamn gorgeous eyes with a gentle finger. The hunter beamed, smiling in a way that made Gabriel feel like he was in the heaven- a real Heaven that made you feel beyond happy for eternity.

"I love it when you use your grace," Sam whispered into Gabriel's ear, his warm breath tickling the other through his hair. Gabriel dragged his lips up Sam's jaw with a satisfied, but surprised _mmm. _Sam nodded, his eyes closing with the impassioned contact.

The raging lust in Gabriel felt was borderline madness as excitement was added to the whirlwind of emotions tumulting in his mind. "Do you? Well, let's see if you like this..."

Gabriel winked dangerously, and suddenly they were no longer in the motel parking lot.

Rather in the largest, most lavish hotel room that Sam had ever stepped foot in. The size of two normal motel rooms, it was dominated by colors of red, black, and silver, with a large window letting in just the right amount of light through red curtains. It was dim but warm, with the smell of cherries lingering in the air.

"Oh my God," Sam gaped, marveling at the lush penthouse, eyes lingering most particularly at the king-sized bed with lush black sheets and wrought-iron headboard.

"Not my best idea, but it'll do," Gabriel said thoughtfully. He let his grace lift his heels higher until his legs dangled in the air, above his head, as his body arched down towards Sam like he was a flower. The Winchester looked up at the floating archangel with amusement, reminded randomly of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.

If the Cheshire Cat was a sexy, arrogant man angel that sent delightful tingles down Sam's spine.

Gabriel grasped the hem of the hunter's shirt, pulling him in for another heart-pounding kiss. Sam's senses went wild as he inhaled the smell of the archangel deeply- he smelled sweet, like fresh syrup or warm vanilla. Their faces flushed pink with anticipation and Sam snaked his arms upwards around Gabriel's hovering waist.

"Whaddya say, moosey? Wanna have some fun?" Gabriel's voice was slow and alluring, despite the almost timid askance in his heart._What if he's not...ready? What if he doesn't want to? _

Sam's eyes flicked to the luxurious bed, and he smiled against Gabriel's lips.

_ Hell yes, I do._


	9. Suspicion

_**Chapter Eight**_

Suspicion

Dean stroked Castiel's hair gently, weaving his fingers through the soft, mussed locks. Cas sighed quietly, nuzzling into Dean's neck, smiling contentedly in his sleep. He rested his head on Dean's bare shoulder, and the Winchester couldn't help but smile.

_ God, that was awesome. _

This time, he didn't feel any guilt about thinking it.

And it felt so, so good.

It was one of those moments where Dean was completely at peace, warm and fuzzy and chick-flicky on the inside- and carefree. All that worry was just carried right off his shoulders the second he let himself go, let himself _be _with Cas.

And that was so damn awesome.

They were both currently lying beneath the sheets, naked legs tangled and overlapping one another's, and Dean's arm was wrapped around Castiel's bare torso, keeping the dark-haired man close as he snoozed. It was oddly gratifying, watching Cas sleep. Sure, he'd been unconscious loads of times in front of Dean, but he didn't sleep. Didn't make all those sweet, sighing noises and those tiny groans that made it all feel real. He gazed at him fondly. He reminded Dean of a kitten, all fluffy haired and innocent. The affection in his eyes grew as he looked at Castiel's calm face, with its expressive eyebrows and feathery lashes the color of ink. A slight blush still lingered in his cheeks from the afternoon's 'activities'.

_I definitely burned some calories, _Dean thought to himself with a tiny laugh- he didn't want to disturb the sleeping Cas. His cheeks blazed with the memory of the heat that charged them both hours ago, making them grind and kiss and lick and bite and...

It had been, hands down, the most sexy thing Dean had ever done, the most sexually fulfilling encounter he'd ever had.

And they didn't even have _sex. _ How awesome was that?

They would have, if Dean had been prepared, but he unfortunately he wasn't. But in his defense, there's no way he could have guessed that he would needed any lube- being the one hundred percent straight man that he was.

'Was' being the operative word.

_I have gotta make a shopping run, _Dean thought to himself. His heart felt tickled at the thought of experience the past couple of hours all over again- but _better. _

_Definitely gotta, _Dean thought, shivering in anticipation. _Maybe I could get some pie..._

It had been very lucky for them that Sam and Gabriel hadn't walked in. Even with the door locked, it would've really pissed Dean off if they were walked in on a second time- especially during something as amazing as _that. _

It suddenly occurred to Dean that there hadn't been a peep from those two since he and Cas got hot and heavy- which was a solid couple of hours ago. _Gabriel wouldn't've...he can't have..._His heart started to beat quickly. Could something have happened? As if sensing Dean's sudden worry, Castiel stirred. His batted his long lashes at Dean, blinking the sleep out of his lovely blue eyes.

"Hello, Dean." He gave his almost smile and lifted a hand to stroke Dean's cheek. Dean smiled tightly, thoughts still dominated by Sam's absence.

"Something is bothering you," Castiel deduced, cocking his head at the hunter thoughtfully. For a second, worry flickered through his cobalt eyes. "Did...you not enjoy our time together?" His deep voice was laced with nerves.

Dean shook his head quickly, green eyes widening. "No, no," he said, anxious to wipe that hurt from Castiel's face. The ex-angel relaxed, settling his head back onto Dean's shoulder. Dean was instantly comforted by the gentle weight- Cas's hair was ridiculously soft.. "God, no, Cas...what we did was...great."

"It was," Castiel agreed warmly. "It's a...shame that we couldn't continue. But it was still very, very good. I much enjoy seeing you naked, Dean." Cas flushed, sliding a smooth cheek down Dean's strong, tanned shoulder.

"You're pretty dreamy too, hot stuff," Dean said with a smile, rubbing his hand down Cas's sheet covered thigh. Cas shivered with happiness and kissed his neck lightly in return. Electricity radiated from where the ex-angel's lips brushed Dean's skin, and he held Castiel's hand, tracing the lines on his palm thoughtfully. Castiel trembled and his blue eyes glimmered with thrill. Dean, however, was too stressed to notice. He needed to do big-brother stuff, needed to check on Sammy- there were angels looking for them, for God's sakes...

_But temptation's one sexy bitch. _Cas gave Dean his best _please? _look, and it seemed things were gonna get steamy all over again as Cas caressed Dean's chest, making all the soft tiny hairs on his abdomen stick straight up.

_Goddamn it, _Dean thought. He sighed, and shook his head slightly at Cas. The ex-angel tried not to look hurt, briefly wondering what he was doing wrong, but he saw that worry on Dean's face again. He sat up quickly. "What is it?"

"It's- it's Sammy, alright?" God, it was embarrassing to admit he was thinking about his little brother while about to get hot and heavy. Dean blushed at Castiel's questioning look. Why did he have to look so freakin' _adorable _when he was concerned? "He's- he's been absolutely quiet. I mean, him and Gabriel were outside of the room, away from the sigils while were were...you know, and..."

"I see," Cas replied, nodding in understanding as concern swept across his handsome features. He worked himself out of the sheets wordlessly, and Dean sighed again. _Major buzz kill. _At least he had the chance to see Castiel, bare and glorious, and he straightened with a very human yawn and arched his back like a waking cat. He watched as Castiel's vertebrae pressed against the skin of his back, and his eyes found his second favorite part- the first being Cas's face, naturally- of his vessel's anatomy...that firm, smooth, absurdly tight ass. It was a damn shame watching him cover it up with his black underwear that had been strewn on the floor. He picked up his shirt and pursed his lips.

"Ah, sorry about that, Cas," he said, blushing. The now ruined shirt didn't have a single button left. A vibrant memory of Dean ripping it off ferociously as they collided against the wall left a warm, unashamed thrum in Dean's abdomen. Memories of arousal became arousal itself as blood began to pump faster through the Winchester's veins.

"It is alright, Dean. All is excused in the throes of passion." His voice was so serious and words were so formal than Dean couldn't help but bust out laughing. He threw off the sheets and crawled across the bed, planting a quick kiss on Castiel's spine. He smiled watching goosebumps erupt down Cas's back- it was incredible that little ol' Dean could make this fantastic, gorgeous man tremble.

"You are hilarious, Cas," he said, getting to his feet. Castiel roamed his eyes over the other's naked body just as Dean did, feeling the muscles in his chest tighten. Castiel liked Dean's ass almost much as Dean liked his, but Castiel had a particular soft spot for a brown freckle at the bottom the Winchester's right shoulder blade. He remembered from somewhere that freckles were sometimes referred to as 'angel's kisses'. Perhaps that was why Cas was so partial to Dean's.

"I know," Castiel replied. He turned and gave the Winchester a soft smile. Dean's heart leapt like a little girl's. "Once we are dressed we can check on...our brothers." It was odd, having a brother he had no memory of, and referring to Gabriel as such made his brows crease in thought.

Dean nodded, sliding on his rumpled underwear and jeans. Then he scooped up his shirt, buttoning it quickly, and retrieved something from his bag. Turning, he revealed it to be a deep red flannel shirt. He tossed it at Cas, who caught it by a finger.

"Wear that for now. We're going to have to get you some new clothes soon." _Maybe when we go shopping- oh, man, that sounded girly. _

Castiel eyed the shirt skeptically, then gave an endearingly mundane shrug and tugged it over his pale shoulders. Dean came up to him and grabbed his hands before he started to button. Cas paused, and Dean glided his hands to Cas's slender clavicle. Warmth crackled between them like they were two ends of a frayed circuit coming together.

"Let me do it," he said, with a grin that lit up his eyes. Castiel turned pink and his cobalt eyes sparkled, his pupils quivering as they instantly dilated. He took the shirt by the collar, tugging Castiel a little closer with each button he snapped. When he reached the bottom button, the one closest to Castiel's crotch, their bodies were inches apart and the heat between them skyrocketed. The heartbeat in Castiel's member pounded so hard it was almost painful, and Dean had to restrain himself from tackling the ex-angel back onto the bed and kissing him and kissing him until they both got lost in each other. Dean could feel Cas's breathing quicken and he watched that chest moved up and down faster with each second. He could feel his cool breath brush his face, breaths slowly turning into pants. _Get ahold of yourself, Dean..._ As much as it pained him, he restrained himself enough to just give Cas a quick peck on the lips. That peck, that gentle brush of the lips left Castiel nearly melted, and his hands fell upon Dean's muscular arms.

"Thank you, Dean."

His voice was quiet and deep, and he was thanking the Winchester for more than than just the kiss, for the shirt, for the past couple of hours. He was thanking him for everything- everything that he could possibly be thankful for. His eyes glimmered with affection and he slid his hands from Dean's arms around his back, crushing him with surprisingly strong grip.

Dean chuckled, the hug making him wheeze a little. "You're welcome, Cas. And thank you, too." He clapped the ex-angel on the back, signalling that he needed more air, and ruffled Castiel's hair. Castiel relinquished his grip, but not before sliding his lips over Dean's cheekbone, tracing fire that blazed deep and wild beneath the skin. Dean snatched Castiel's wrist quickly, making Cas jump. Before he could react, he leaned forward and captured Cas's mouth for a split second. It was just enough to dispel the frenzy inside the Winchester, but more than enough to leave him craving more. But then he leaned inches back, and Cas nearly moaned with the loss of contact. But he held it in, gazing starstruck at the hunter. Dean sighed longingly, inhaling Castiel's honey-sweet scent as he kissed Castiel's forehead with a twitch of regret. He wanted to say 'let's get back in bed' _very _very much but instead grumbled, "Let's go find our brothers."

Dean supplied Castiel with a pair of jeans that luckily fit him, then (after admiring that ass in denim), grabbing his socks, shoes, and weaponry, looked wearily at the door. He worried briefly if opening that door meant closing whatever he and Cas just shared. But then, looking at that dark haired man behind him shuffling awkwardly in an adorable way behind him, he realized there was no going back.

Cas was finally _his. _

Dean smiled faintly to himself, and slowly opened the door. However, he jumped back upon seeing a slightly rumpled-looking Sam reaching for the same doorknob on the other side.

"Oh. Hey, Sam," he greeted somewhat awkwardly. He found his cheeks turning slightly pink. Castiel hung behind him, feeling bashful now that he was obviously wearing different clothes. Sam's observant eyes did pass over Castiel's new shirt, and the wrinkled bed sheets. The tall hunter turned a little rosy, and cleared his throat.

"Um, hey, Dean." In his hand, he clutched a couple of old looking papers. His grip tightened reflexively, making the papers crinkle. "I, uh, got the spell. To summon Metatron and get Castiel's grace back."

"Oh. Right." How something so important such as the planet's welfare could have slipped his mind, Dean didn't know. He took the papers from his brother and coasted his eyes over them. The papers, which were about five or six in number, were old, yellowed, and crisp with age. The lettering on them was tiny and scarcely legible, and Dean couldn't make heads or tails of what was most likely Enochian. He handed Sam back the papers with a grunt. "Where's Gabriel?"

"Right here, sunshine." Sam walked inside and the shorter archangel was no longer obscured by his brother's massive form. Dean grunted a greeting and stepped aside for him to walk in. There was a pause, and Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "Um...dude? I completely angel proofed that room with all my angelical knowhow. Not getting in there." His voice was infuriatingly superior.

Dean reddened, lips pressing together. The night before, Gabriel had 'installed' some ancient, secretive anti-angel spells that kept him from even _entering _the room. _Duh, Dean. _"Um, yeah."

Gabriel whistled. "Wow. Somebody left their mind in the bedsheets." Dean tensed. He tried to control the urge to punch Gabriel in his holier-than-thou face while Cas folded his arms behind his back, flushing with color.

"Gabriel," Sam said warningly, but the light in his eyes made his tone lose its seriousness. The archangel rolled his eyes playfully and waved a chair into existence. Then to Dean's supreme annoyance, sat down right in the open doorway with legs crossed and a wicked smile on his face.

"Well? What are you waiting for, smart stuff? Let's get started- we've waited too long already. We need to get my sibling problem solved. Fast." Dean withheld a groan and nodded. He gave Sam a look that said _He's your friend, you deal with him. _Then he cocked an eyebrow at Cas and they sat down next to each other on the bed. Castiel sat Indian style, looking all of the sudden relaxed. Sam sat down in the wooden desk chair and tried to explain to them the plan.

"Okay, so Metatron took Castiel's grace as part of a eviction spell. The three fake trials involved the slaying of a Nephilim, a child of an angel and a human, ownership of a Cupid's Bow, and the grace of the angel who committed the slaying. The spell only remains intact if Metatron has all three of the items- so if we take back Cas's grace- Heaven should open its pearly gates again."

"And how do you expect us to take it back? Kill ourselves and take the express ride to Heaven? Metatron is kind out of our _reach."_Dean gave his brother a condescending look, then went back to lazily doodling angel runes and demon protections on the underside of Cas's arm with a pen. He didn't know why he suddenly started doing it, but he figured it was a good idea. Cas was complacent, as usual, and watched Dean with fascination.

"I'm getting to that," Sam said pointedly, rolling his eyes. Gabriel snorted from the doorway. How Sammy dealt with his ass of a big brother without giving him a few punches was a mystery to him. _He must be used to Dean's idiocy. _

Sam paused however, his eyes suddenly lighting with a sort of mischief. "First, we should get to the bunker. There are some ingredients there I can use for the counterspell."

"You're not gonna explain it to us first?" Dean asked pressingly, leaning forward on his knees.

Sam stood up quickly. "Nope." Gabriel chuckled from outside, and Dean rolled his eyes. _Great. Now they're the Dynamic Dick Duo. _

"Fine," he said roughly. He gave Cas a look, but Castiel looked oblivious to the annoyance Dean was experiencing. "We need to check on Kev anyway- kid's bound to have started on his fingers by now." Sam nodded, and walked outside to Gabriel. Gabe held up his hands for knucks, and it took an eyeroll and a couple seconds before Sam realized he was supposed to bop his knuckles against his. Gabriel let a goofy grin spread across his face.

"See, Gigantor, you're learning! By the way, where we going? I assume you've got your bunker all decorated in sigils, so give me an address." Sam nodded, but instead of saying it outright he whispered it into the angel's ear, taking care to brush his ear with his lips. Gabriel whispered something back, and Sam laughed shortly. But then he frowned, suddenly stiffening under Dean's suspicious glare.

Trying to ignore Sam and Gabriel's sudden camaraderie he gave Cas a soft nudge and got to his feet. He stuffed their things quickly into a bag and walked over to Gabe. "Don't forget Baby," Dean said warningly.

Gabriel sighed. "I won't forget your car, Dean-o." Cas followed quietly behind, meeting his brother's eyes awkwardly. Gabriel gave him a small encouraging smile.

"Ready, little bro?" he asked quietly, his voice a little gruff as he gazed kindly at the little brother who used to know him. Castiel nodded slowly. Dean tried to look reassuring, and he took Castiel's hand. Cas tried to smile back, and Dean gave his hand a warm squeeze.

Sam and Gabe tried not to stare as Dean smiled at Cas with rare fondness, and gave each other knowing looks. Sam ending up screwing up his face trying not snicker but Gabe, being an angel, was a poker face expert. Making sure the older Winchester was too busy giving googly eyes to his little bro, he took Sam by the hand and silently rubbed a thumb across his large palm. Sam tried very hard to keep a raging blush off his features.

Gabriel cleared his throat, and held out a hand to the older Winchester with fingers wiggling.

"Get real," Dean muttered. He grabbed the archangel's arm instead.

Gabriel's tawny eyes glimmered with amusement, and he gave Sam a wink. The younger Winchester couldn't help but blush this time and Dean groaned. _Freakin' angels. _"At least I'm secure enough in my manhood to hold your hand, short bus."

"And what's that suppo-"

xXXx

"-sed to mean?" Dean finished, but he paused as his feet smacked into familiar ground.

"Doesn't look all that homey," Gabriel remarked as he viewed the grey building, unimpressed.

"It's actually a lot bigger on the inside," Sam replied, giving Gabe's hand an excited squeeze. He felt compelled to give Gabriel the full tour with an almost childlike eagerness. Dean felt a warmth in his chest and wondered if this was what 'coming home' felt like. The bunker had certainly served its purpose in hiding and sheltering the boys, but Dean had his own _bedroom _in there. One he actually had things in, personal belongings that were permanently there. Isn't that what home was? Reminded of bedrooms, he looked around. _There's a gas station about a mile from here...Gotta get some pie and- _Focus, _Dean! _

Still latched onto Cas's hand, he used his free arm to tug his phone out of the bag slung around his shoulder and pressed speed dial 6. Holding it up to his ear, it picked up after two rings.

"Dean," Kevin started, his voice tight with annoyance. "C'mon, man, I'll call you when I have the bunker figured out- and yes, I do have all my fingers, thank you very much."

_Kids these days,_ he thought grouchily. But then he blinked. _Aw, did I really just think that? Crap, I'm getting old. _"Kevin- we're outside."

"Wait, what? Why?"

"Because we need some stuff in there to send the angels back to Cloud Nine- so you're gonna have to try really hard to open that bunker...like, ASAP."

"Um...crap. Give me a sec."

Dean sighed, and gave the other three a tired look. "This is gonna take a while. You'd think after so long he could open it like _that-"_Dean snapped his fingers, and suddenly the bunker door creaked open. Stunned for about two seconds, he looked from his fingers to the door, where a scrawny, pale Asian kid walked out to them.

"I'm magic," he breathed.

Sam snorted and Gabriel said in a deep voice, "You're a wizard, Dean-o." Cas just looked lost, as usual.

"Hey guys. Sam, Dean, Cas," Kevin said, walking slowly up to them. He looked almost overwhelmingly sheepish. He smiled tightly at Sam and Dean, but his face slipped into a frown upon seeing Gabriel. "Who is this?"

"You mean you didn't tell him about me," Gabriel gasped, clutching his chest in mock hurt. Kevin raised a black eyebrow, his dark eyes weary.

Sam sighed. "Kevin, this is Gabriel."

The young prophet blinked. "You don't mean Gabriel as in..." Kevin paled, his skin turning another shade whiter.

"The one and only!" Gabriel said with a winning grin. "Archangel extraordinaire, at your service. And you must be Kevin Tran, the prophet of the century."

"Yeah, oh prophetic one," Dean said, crossing his arms. "Mind telling me how you opened that door so fast? Because as awesome as I am, I'm pretty sure I ain't the Chosen One."

"Nerd," Sam commented, giving his older brother a mocking look.

"Shut up," Dean said quickly, his anger at Kevin outgrowing Sam's petty banter. "I thought you said you'd _call _if you figured out how to open the bunker."

Kevin held up his hands defensively. "Look, I would have eventually-"

_ "Eventually?" _Dean said echoed loudly, stepping aggressively forward.

"Yeah, man." The teenager sighed, his voice temporarily gaining pitch. "Look, without you guys here and with all sorts of angel crap happening, I thought it would be safest if I just laid low, okay? I _just _got away from Crowley, I don't need angel problems too." His tone was pleading, but also resigned. Dean looked ready to bite his head off, but Sam stepped to Kevin's defense.

"That's alright, Kevin." Dean opened his mouth to say something colorfully opposite, but Sam shot him a look. "It's good that you could unlock it." Gabriel gave Sam a happy little squeeze- normally he wasn't such a sucker for kindness but Sam Winchester made compassion sexy.

_I am so whipped, _Gabriel thought dryly. _And for a human. Dad would be so proud. _

"Well, you guys should come inside," Kevin said. "I'm a bit paranoid staying outside."

"That's fine," Dean grunted. "Gabriel, you and Cas should go inside and...angel proof the place the best you can, okay?" Cas nodded and Dean tried not to be so firm, smoothing out the anger on his face and giving Cas a fond nod. "Sam and I need to have a talk out here."

"We do?" Sam asked, raising his eyebrows questioningly. _Great. _

Gabriel clicked his tongue and looped his arm in Castiel's, who stared at him with both worry and skepticism. "C'mon, baby bro. We need to catch up some things."

Castiel shoved his worry down and remembered that Dean wouldn't leave him alone with Gabriel if he didn't trust him- and after all, he was his older brother. Deep down, a part of recognized the brotherly protectiveness emanating from Gabriel, and Cas had learned to trust his instincts.

"We need to talk as well," he agreed. Perhaps spending time with Gabriel could spur the return of his memories. Kevin eyed them wearily, unsure what to think about being in a bunker with the other two brothers. Sam gave him a small thumbs up and Kevin sighed, and led the two inside.

Sam turned to Dean, crossing his arms. "What, Dean?"

"Don't get all smart ass with me, man," Dean growled, pointing at his younger brother accusingly. "What the hell, man? Why are you so buddy-buddy with Gabriel?"

"Why are you so googly-eyed with Castiel?" Sam shot back. Since when did Dean get to judge him for something he was doing even more? "God, you're such a hypocrite, Dean!" A royal bitchface slid across his features.

Dean's green eyes blazed, his nostrils flaring as he set his jaw. "A _hypocrite? _Are you shitting me, Sam? Gabriel killed me- _hundreds _of times and psychologically tortured you for months! How can you just brush that off? He made you say you had genital herpes on a friggin' commercial, for Christ's sake!"

Sam's mouth puckered in anger and he squared his shoulders, defensive. "And Castiel worked with Crowley behind our backs, released the Leviathans, pretended he was God, made you think he was dead, and shoved all the angels out of Heaven!"

"That- that's-" Dean spluttered, arms trembling and fists clenching as he raised his voice to a shout. "That's different! He raised me from Hell! He saved our asses more times than we can count!"

"And Gabriel saved us from Lucifer when we were held hostage by all those gods- and got himself killed in the process!"

"Cas got himself killed for us too-"

"Jesus Christ, Dean, that's not the freaking point! My point is that if you can forgive Cas for all those things, why can't I forgive Gabriel?"

Dean's mouth gaped open, scrambling for a nasty retort or even a grunt but he couldn't manage it- because deep down his knew Sam was right and it pissed him off so much that he was. Plus Gabriel was _Gabriel. _A superior, selfish, archdick with wings.

"Dean," Sam said, his voice calming in that stupid soothing tone of his. "I'm not saying I don't forgive Castiel- I really do. It's pointless staying mad at that guy." He chuckled softly and Dean couldn't help but relax upon viewing that sincere look on Sam's face. "And I'm not defending any of the crap that Gabe has done, either. But trust me, man- we're gonna have to work together to solve this angel problem- and suspicion isn't gonna make things go any smoother.'

"So you're saying I should just blindly trust the asshole?" Dean asked sardonically, voice practically a rumble in contempt.

"Don't be stupid. I'm _saying _he's helping and you need to get off your fuckin' high horse," Sam said, smirking. "We've all made mistakes. You're no exception."

Dean grinded his teeth as he viewed the _I-totally-won-this-one _expression on his little brother's face, and he sighed in annoyance. "Fine! Keep your new BFF- hell, braid each other's hair for all I care."

"Please, Dean. You know...Gabriel's a lot like you."

Dean jammed his hands over his ears. "I don't wanna hear it, Sammy. I don't care." Sam rolled his eyes at his brother's immaturity, but he was relieved the issue was resolved. Dean could be a really asshole when he shit to get off his chest. "Bitch," he muttered under his breath.

"Jerk," Sam replied, feeling his lips stretch into a smile.

"C'mon," Dean said, stomping over to the bunker door with Sam walking behind. "I'm gonna make your boyfriend bring back Baby and we're gonna go get some freakin' pie."


	10. Taboo

{Warning: M/M, spoilers for Season 8, language. You know how it goes.}

_**Chapter Nine**_

Taboo

"What've you got there, Dean?" Sam asked, eyes narrowing. His eyes were glued to the small bag his brother clutched in his hand, so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Sam leaned languorously against the Impala's passenger side door in the small grocery store parking lot and had been waiting around five minutes for Dean, having shopped already himself. His arms were crossed and his mouth was a firm line. With the Impala firmly keeping him standing his legs looked, if possible, even longer as he stretched out, like long muscular poles.

_Stupid Bigfoot and his stupid observational skills. _Dean turned faintly pink and shoved the bag roughly into his jacket pocket. "Nothing- just some toothpaste." He tried to make his voice reassuring and put on his best _chill-it's-nothing _face. "We're running out and now Cas has to use some because..." he paused briefly. "I don't think he brushed his teeth when he was an angel. I actually might have to _teach _him how." The idea of teaching Cas to scrub his teeth made him snort with humor, but suddenly the image of something else in Castiel's mouth made him snap his jaw shut so quickly he nearly bit his tongue off.

Sam cocked his head and lifted an eyebrow, unconvinced. Dean tried to regain his composure, attempting to fight off the blush inexplicably spreading across his features. "Since when are you so concerned about dental hygiene?"

"Don't get all prissy with me, Sam. Gotta keep these babies pearly white." Dean grinned widely, running his tongue over his teeth. Sam rolled his eyes and slid into the Impala's leather seat as Dean came around and plopped down. It felt like the long drive to Twin Pines yesterday morning was years ago, and he hadn't been in Baby since then. He slid his hand lovingly across the dash for a moment.

Sam rolled his eyes again, but he was all too familiar with Dean's affection for the car- in truth he had a soft spot for it too. But he wasn't so easily swayed from the topic at hand. "And that's what you instantly thought of _after _we checked out and bought you your freakin' pie?"

"Yep," Dean replied, tone blase. "Despite the wonders of my most favored dessert, it can cause killer cavities." Dean jammed his key into the ignition and brought the Impala to life, trying to keep his face normal.

"Riiiight," Sam said, as they pulled quickly out of the lot and back onto the highway. The store was only a few miles from the bunker. Initially, both of the Winchesters had been uncomfortable at the thought of leaving Cas and Gabriel alone, but apparently the two had hit it off and were easing back into each other's company. Not to mention they were completely safe in the bunker and Gabriel could handle anything that came their way.

Plus Dean felt leaving Kevin alone with Gabriel for a few minutes was just punishment.

"Makes me think," he started with a chuckle, "-of the trick I pulled on you when you were in the first grade. " Dean steered the conversation away quickly, eager to get Sam off the subject of the secret object he had awkwardly just bought. Thank God the cashier had been half asleep- luckily for him. Dean didn't even think the teen had noticed what he scanned.

Dean's plan worked. Sam reddened, giving Dean an epically bitchy glare. His nostrils flared. "Don't even go there, Dean."

"Oh, so you _do _remember?" Dean gave his little brother an exceptionally irritating smirk. "_ 'Hey, Sammy, you know if you get a cavity the tooth fairy'll sneak into your room and take all of your teeth?'_ Man, you _flipped._ Wouldn't stop brushing your teeth after each meal for five whole minutes and kept doing it for a whole month before Dad found out and got so pissed- it was before you knew all this monster stuff so he was even more pissed that usual. It was pretty funny."

"Yeah, you're hilarious, Dean," Sam muttered, crossing his long arms angrily. "Geez. I was just a kid- and you had me scrubbing teeth until my gums bled for weeks. Real brotherly of you- and you probably woulda let me go on like that for longer if Dad hadn't gotten tired of me blasting through all of our toothpaste." Dean's shoulders started shaking with laughter and he leaned on the steering wheel.

Sam paused, the corners of his mouth aching and added as an afterthought, "Guess the tooth fairy was a killer after all...didn't Garth tell us that was his first kill?" He shifted his jaw and the Winchesters shared a look. Dean pursed his lips and Sam's cheeks started to twitch from the effort. Then they both busted out in rare, deep snickers until tears were pouring down their faces.

"Oh, God, he looked so fuckin' tramuatized by the whole thing too," Dean gasped, wiping tears off his face and trying to stay focused on the road, almost beside himself. The feeling of mirth rushing through him was so unfamiliar that laughing came all the more easier to him- it was crazy, how long it'd been since he'd laughed this hard.

Sam leaned back in the seat, struggling for breath with his smile so wide on his face it actually hurt his cheeks. "I- I know-" he wheezed in between raucous laughter. "He was- he looked like he had ran over a p-puppy- glad-" he gasped for air, "-glad we didn't tell him about all the evil Santas we've killed. He might've actually _cried." _

This made them laugh even harder until their lungs begged for a break, and panting for breath with tears still streaming down their cheeks, they cleared their throats with smiles still etched on their faces.

"Holy crap, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time," Sam whispered, warmth pooling in his stomach. "Despite- despite everything, Cas and evil angels...things are starting to look up, Dean. I might be jinxing it, but really. I haven't been this...relaxed in a long, long time." _Maybe it's cuz I finally got laid, _Sam thought, but instantly turned pink and was wildly relieved his brother wasn't privy to his thoughts.

"I know," Dean agreed, his smile fading slightly but still lingering, tiny and stubborn. It had been too long since he smiled, his face wasn't just gonna let that stupid grin go without a fight. "It's crazy. We still got all this shit going on and we still got this angel problem but...it doesn't seem so...bad anymore. Is that crazy?"

"No," Sam murmured, eyes glimmering with hope. "Maybe...maybe it's because we finally have a winning chance. We have new knowledge on how to defeat demons, we have Cas back and Gabriel on our side. Kevin is safe and I feel better- _good. _I feel damn good, Dean, almost optimistic, for the first time in a long time." He gazed meaningfully at his brother, and Dean sighed.

"Me too," he whispered, almost scared to admit it. To him it was a massive taboo, like saying 'it can't get any worse than this' and making things inevitably worse. If they said they had a chance, would it slide right from under them? Would a whole new load of bullshit come flying their way?

"And that's good, too." Dean looked up, wondering if his worry was written all over his face. Sam continued. "Things never get better for us, Dean. Maybe...maybe it's finally time things start looking up, turning in our favor. God knows how much we deserve a freakin' break."

"Yeah, no kidding," Dean complained, absentmindedly eyeing the familiar treeline and road signs signifying how close they were to the bunker.

Awkward silence fell for a moment. Being so suddenly close to each other, so freakin' heart to heart, made both brothers start to feel massively uncomfortable. The guilt, all that guilt about the secrets they were harboring made their shoulders slump and the humor leech from their moods. Hadn't secrets always screwed them over in the long run? Literally, every single time?

But these secrets were on a _completely _different chessboard, and hardly life-threatening. More just...private. Very sensitive, and incredibly embarrassing- with a big helping of awkward on top. Admitting to each other they had spontaneous and intimate relations with their consecutive angels, angels with rather sketchy records themselves, wasn't gonna be the easiest thing to do. Also the fact that they'd kindled their feelings in less than seventy-two hours...

Plus... there was that whole humiliating _I'm-not-gay-just-horny-for-this-one-angel-who-happ ens-to-be-a-dude _conversation to deal with. The Winchesters themselves weren't quite sure on what sexuality this made them. But in their defense, angels were a whole different ball game.

_"It's not like they're human. It's different than suddenly turning bi," _Sam thought, at the same time Dean was thinking, _"I'm not attracted to any other dudes, that's for sure. Just Cas." _

Both of them were positive they hadn't stopped being attracted to women, and the thought of being with other men made them queasy. If they had been looking at each other instead of uncomfortably out the window (in Sam's case) or with eyes glued to the road (Dean), they would've seen each other's faces mirror. They'd get bright pink, scrunch their brows up in thought, pale, and then turn a little green, then gnaw on the inside of their cheeks.

_ Okay. This has gotta stop- Dean has to know. He'll just be even more pissed if I tell him later._

_Goddamn it...but it's not like he doesn't know...but I always tell him everything- he's Sammy. And honestly, who's he gonna tell?_

The bunker was coming into view. Now was the best opportunity to tell each other, away from Kevin, Cas, and Gabe...

Abruptly, they both swiveled their heads around and said so quickly the words blurred together.

"DeanIneedtotalktoyouaboutsomething-"

"Samthere'ssomethingIgottatellyou-"

Just as suddenly, they both paused, blinking and blushing. _Shit. _

Dean finally parked, feeling so awkward it was like all the air was being sucked out of the car and he was slowly suffocating. Icy pinpricks of sweat breaking out on his forehead made him clench his fists. Sam shifted his legs, turning towards his older brother with a firm line of resolve on his face. He was gonna tell him- he _had _to tell him. He had his mouth opened, completely ready to spill everything to Dean, who was looking at him with his expression comically torn between embarrassment and determination.

But Sam never got the chance to say a word before Dean's window suddenly shattered, sending a shower of glass flying all over the brothers and slicing through the exposed skin of their faces and arms. Dean cried out as the dark fist that had smashed through his window grabbed his shoulder forcefully.

"Dean!" Sam cried, lunging for his brother only to draw short as his door was thrown open by an invisible force. He barely had time to yell as he was thrown from the Impala's cab onto the gravelly ground.

"Sam!" The older Winchester fought and kicked, but the arm was strong enough to actually drag him through the demolished window, scraping Dean's bare skin with jagged edges of broken window as he was yanked out of the Impala.

"Let me go, you son of a bitch!" His boots dragged stubbornly in the gravel as iron arms looped around his arms and forced them behind his back, hard enough to strain both of shoulder blades until he groaned in pain. A sharp kick in his lower back sent him roughly to his knees with a throaty cry. He struggled against the steel grip, but it was useless and fingers dug furiously into his already aching shoulders.

"Dean Winchester," a deep voice near his ear purred, sending shivers down his spine. "I have a question for you, my hunter friend. Tell me...Where is the angel Castiel?"

xXXx

"Kevin."

The sound of his name in that deep voice made him jump. The last time that voice had spoke to him he'd never seen Castiel so angry. Not that he knew the angel that much in the first place, but seeing someone the Winchesters trusted so much get pissed, grab him by the collar and shove some ice cold truths in his face was more that a little disconcerting.

But this time, the baritone voice was tentative and almost timid. His gaze turned from the book he'd stuck his nose in and swept over the man who was sitting in a chair at the table next to his. Gabriel, who Kevin was exceedingly uncomfortable with, was sitting across from Castiel and raking his tawny eyes all over the room with restrained fascination.

"Yes...?" he asked quietly, raising a dark eyebrow. He hoped he wasn't in store for another painful conversation with the dark-haired angel. _Why did you leave me with two angels? _Kevin cursed the Winchesters, not for the first time and he was sure not for the last.

To Kevin's utter disbelief, a slight blush worked onto Castiel's features as he shuffled awkwardly. He seemed to struggle for the right words to say. "I must inquire...is there any...sustenance for consumption here in the bunker?"

"Food?" Kevin clarified, his voice dumb with confusion. "Yes...but...why?" Castiel didn't _need _food. He was an angel, for crying out loud.

"Because he's human," Gabriel replied tautly. Kevin's mouth fell slack and he stared wide-eyed at Cas. His voice was lost as a myriad of confused thoughts assaulted his brain- but his premier thought was _Why am I the last to know everything? _Gabriel turned his attention to his brother, his expression becoming that of amusement. "If you're hungry, all you have to do is ask, Cassie. What are you hungry for?"

Castiel blinked. All he could understand was that the gnawing, empty feelings in his chest was the maw of hunger- he had no clue what he could satisfy it with. Plus the nickname Cassie had him feeling slightly hesitant. "Oh...erhm..."

"God, you don't even understand cravings, do you? That blows- even I love me some sweets. Maybe...a cheeseburger?"

A cheeseburger. Castiel definitely knew what _that _was. The vivid image of a succulent slab of meat, hot and greasy and slathered with melted cheese and fresh, crisp vegetables popped into his mind. Cas felt his mouth salivate in apprehension and he nodded quickly. Gabriel beamed, and with both of them ignorant of the shell-shocked Kevin, he waved his hand and brought forth a lovely, huge cheeseburger with all the fixings on a fresh clean plate. The tantalizing smell hit Cas's nostrils like a wave and he found his hands trembling to scoop up the food and shove it into his mouth. But not all mannerisms were lost to him, and he slowly moved his hands towards the plate with a look of _thanks. _Kevin just stared, his gaze flickering from Gabriel to Cas to the food then to Gabriel again.

"What?" Gabe asked defensively. "I'm an archangel, dude. I've got the magic fingers, the heavenly touch, the jazz hands. You hungry, oh prophetic one?"

"N-no," he replied, and he was half-honest. He was mostly still shocked from the revelation that Cas was human and the ease of which Gabe used his powers to summon fast food. "I didn't know you could use your powers in here."

"Did know I could either," the archangel replied frankly, with a smirk. "Had to try sometime. But I guess these great "Men of Letters" didn't know all that much about angels either to place sigils- big surprise there. But I hardly knew about them either- they were a whisper on top of a rumor on top of bar gossip. Plus our kind wasn't really busy up until the Winchester boys were sucked into my brothers' messes." Gabriel's eyes flickered with something like sadness for a moment, and Kevin felt himself warming to the archangel. Never had one expressed sentiment in front of him, not with the sincerity that Gabriel did. Sure, Cas was always the angel with the emotions, but he never did much 'feeling' in front of Kevin. He'd been kind of AWOL, and growing distant from Sam and Dean of late. But then all this angel shit and...

...back to square one. Put old grudges aside and save the world for psychotic supernatural beings.

_My life is so fucked up, _Kevin thought dryly. Also not for the first time.

Gabriel smirked at seeing the reverent look on his brother's face as he munched on the cheeseburger, but his smile frowned as Kevin asked, "Who turned Castiel human?"

Gabriel's voice was dark when he answered. "Metatron."

Castiel paused his consumption of food and gauged their reactions. Gabriel was angry, that was obvious, and Kevin was surprised. Was Metatron someone that called friend once, or at least an ally? The frustration of being unable to recall a single moment of his existence before Dean found him that hospital drove him absolutely insane, and it always lingered in the back of his mind. _Always. _And the uncertainty that he would ever get his memories back chilled him to the core. Even though he'd been aware barely two days, they had been constant onslaughts of new information and feelings that he didn't understand. Memories, he was sure, would help him in that regard. But they were lost to him. All because of this...Metatron. Any mention of the angel who had betrayed him instantly piqued his curiosity, but now he felt anger. Surely he didn't deserve this. No one deserved this- the emptiness of amnesia. His cobalt eyes fell to the prophet boy, who was massaging his temples.

"Metatron? But..." Kevin's voice faltered. Metatron was the angel of the prophets- he had saved Kevin's life, for God's sake. "Why?"

"So he could have Heaven to himself," Gabe spat. But then his brow wrinkled and his voice deepened as his words hit him hard. "He felt the archangels had upended the order of Heaven, and...while we sort of did, he felt betrayed. Felt like he'd been robbed of his home. So he took it back."

Kevin closed his eyes. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. Didn't give voice to the plethora of questions abusing his mind. Just sat back in his chair and felt the probings of a major migraine behind his eyes. _Trust is such a fucking taboo these days. _At the thought of the only two men in the world he did trust, his eyes drifted to the analog clock hanging on the wall to his left. "When do you think they'll be back?"

"Pretty soon," Gabriel replied unconcernedly, but his eyes hardened ever so slightly. He doubted he would ever get used to the protectiveness he felt now when it came to the Winchesters, especially Sam. Damn that man and his newfound hold on him.

"I'm just waiting for them to get into trouble," Kevin said, older than his years with a sigh, from both his lips and in his heart. Gabriel understood that and felt a mixture of empathy and pity for the boy. Castiel paused again in his eating, and setting down the food, he swallowed and drew his attention back to Gabriel.

"Gabriel," he said, his voice rough. The archangel met his brother's ocean blue eyes. "There's...there's something I must ask of you."

"You want me to try and get your memory back," he said, without blinking an eye. His warm tawny eyes turned glacial.

"Yes," Castiel intoned, his voice smooth with only the faintest hints of pleading. "I think it would be better if I had my knowledge of years. I think it would be safer."

Gabriel said nothing.

Cas continued, the roughness in his voice turning to urgency. "You...you don't know what it's like to be so- so _lost. _So...confused. I'm not empty...but it feels, it feels like-" He struggled to put it into a metaphoric statement Gabe would understand. "It feels like what made me..._ me _was emptied. I'm still the same person, deep down, but then I was filled with all of these emotions instead of memories. It's so _confusing!" _His voice rose to a shout.

Gabriel still said nothing.

"Please. If there is any- _any- _way for me to get back my memories, do it. Please."

Gabriel finally sat up, his jaw stern. "It would be dangerous," his brother informed him. "The weight of all that knowledge in a human mind...it could kill you." Emotion started waging war on Gabe's face. "I...I don't think I could risk you, Castiel. You're my little brother. I...I couldn't."

"I will beg, if I have to," Cas said softly. Gabriel closed his eyes- _still as resolute as ever, _he thought. _Damn stubborn._

"Do you really want me to do this? I don't think you will like the result. You're happier than I've ever seen you, Castiel. Even with all this confusion, you're still happy. Do you really want to lose that, to have to remember all the mistakes and hardships you have caused? You've done things, Cas. Things I know you'll regret- Sam, me...Dean." Castiel blinked at the name. "We've forgiven you for them, and we're no more innocent than you. But what you have done, what you have done to those Winchester boys is something I don't think you'll be able to forgive yourself for." He knew this was below the belt, but he had to make Castiel understand the risk he was taking.

But this made Castiel all the more desperate. More scared, but also more desperate. _What? What have I done to Sam and Dean? Did I hurt them? Did I betray them? What have I done to them- my only friends in this world?_

_What did I do to_ Dean?

"I have to know, Gabriel," he said, voice far calmer than he was.

Gabriel sighed, his heart heavy. Then he sent a silent prayer to the Father and stared at his brother in the eyes. "Okay, Cas. Okay. I will do my best."

Then he extended a hand and placed it on his brother's forehead.


End file.
